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Hen do fall out

I really need people’s opinions I have fallen out with my oldest and best friend at my hen do. I have thought it through so much and I just need to know if I am being unreasonable.

we went abroad for a long weekend - I organised as it was just easier as it was a few friends, family and work colleagues who didn’t know each other.

A Facebook group chat was set up .... about a month before the hen do my best friend quit Facebook so the other hens couldn’t actually contact her. She could still see the group chat and had the option to contact the other girls but she didn’t. 

She organised nothing, no games, no veil, no straws or badges. I feel the most hurt by this if the other had girls assumed she was organising things I would of had nothing hen do related the entire weekend, the other girls organised everything and it was brilliant.

on the hen to we had 2 apartments and went out the Saturday night, my BF and another girl stayed out drinking and we all went bank to the apartment at 2. At 4:30 both girls asked another girl to sleep in my room so they could ‘use’ that bedroom I told them it wasn’t on and there friends needed to leave. They brought 2 blokes back. My BF said she would tell her guy to leave .... he didn’t and I walked in on them kissing on the front room sofa, I mentioned how I thought he was leaving. The other girl took a shower with her guy but she’s apologised for her part in the night. I walked back in on my friend under a bed sheet having sex on the sofa , the one we all had to use and sit on! I told her the guy needed to leave which he did. 

Shes not apologiesed for bringing some one back am I unreasonable to expect one? She organised nothing , it’s supposed to be my big send off and I feel let down that she didn’t contribute . 

Opinions welcome 


  • Games/veil/straws/badges aside because that's somewhat forgivable if she was under the impression you were organising that because you'd organised the trip...

    Her behaviour was completely unacceptable. It was rude enough for them to think it's okay to bring guys back on what is very much a girls trip and something wedding-related (y'know, the whole celebration of never needing to bring random guys back to your room again?) but to then blatantly ignore your - presumably quite polite in the first instance - request for them to leave is just beyond rude.

    I'd be completely disgusted if someone had the audacity to do that on my hen do so I think you're well within your rights to be feeling the way you feel about this. 

    Question is... how are you going to approach this going forward? Is she a MoH/bridesmaid? Do you still want her involved? I'd be very tempted just to give her the silent treatment until she hopefully realises the error of her ways and apologises.
  • OmRumOmRum Posts: 947 New bride
    Sorry I can't offer any advice except to say that I would have been mortified if that had happened to me, so you're justified in being upset with her. Bringing strange men back aside, if I had been your MOH I would have checked in with you how much you wanted me to organise for the hen, even if you said you were doing it all yourself. And I probably would have brought some bits even if you said you had everything covered! That's just me though. I like to cover all bases!
  • Thank you both for the replies, somr times you can over think things and it’s nice to get an outside opinion. 

    Its just annoying that my main memory of my hen do is that we fell out. 

    She txted me a week after the hen do and there was still no apology. I called her out and txted back to say I would of thought she’d of addressed the situation. She replied saying she didn’t realise her part in the evening had annoyed me!!???!!!

  • Oh boy, she sounds completely clueless. I fell out with one of my close friends when she did pretty much the same thing when I went to visit her in Paris one weekend. She kicked me out of her studio apartment and I literally had to stand on the streets of Paris at like 4am while she got it on with the guy. Needless to say, when he finally emerged I went up, grabbed my stuff and left.

    It took her a while but she eventually apologised. Hopefully your friend will realise she's made a huge mistake and will apologise too xx
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