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Awkward situation - help!

I could really do with some advice... 
We don’t have any children or small nieces or nephews so we decided we would like a child free wedding. Our friends with kids pretty much assumed we wouldn’t have children as the reasons mentioned above! We recently sent out invites & made a point of just putting on the adults names - I asked a few opinions of friends who had got married, they said that people would get a hint that kids weren’t invited. Most people have apart from my OH cousin who responded saying he will be attending with his four kids!! I’m not really sure what we should say? What’s everyone’s thoughts? I’ve just got a feeling that it’s all going to kick off once we tell them their kids can’t come. 


  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,311 New bride
    Just go back and tell them unfortunately it’s an adult only event, so you won’t be able to accommodate their children as well and you hope they understand. 

    If they kick kick off they don’t come at all 🤷🏻‍♀️
    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.
    Our report: A fun, classic May day in navy and blush
    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Laura GraceLaura Grace Posts: 334 New bride
    Unfortunately some people need things spelling out to them.  I would maybe give them a quick call and just explain honestly - adult only event and you really hope they can still make it but with finding childcare for 4 you totally understand if it's an issue.  They'll probably feel quite silly for not realising (but with 4 kids you can understand why they may be a bit distracted and missed the absent names on the invite).
    Alternatively, yes there would be a few that could "kick off" but then you know these people, we don't.  If they are the type of people to kick off at such a thing then I would say it's always best to preempt it and have that conversation before invites went out... 
  • Ruth126Ruth126 Posts: 39 New bride
    edited May 2019
    I think you have to spell it out but do it personally and directly. We didn’t do save the dates but just mentioned to people when we told them we’d got engaged when the date was (mostly by email as and when we were in touch) and at that point told people with kids we just couldn’t afford (space wise) to have any other than family children and bridesmaids and their siblings and they all understood. They said they appreciated us giving them a year’s notice to find childcare and also a day without worrying about them. 

    I guess you have to accept some will find it harder than others and we were lucky most of our friends have parents who can help or other relatives who live near us who they could leave their kids with. At the last minute we did allow someone’s child along as his wife was ill so she was his plus one but we felt we could justify that to others there. 

    I think if you take a relatively personal approach and are clear on your reasons people will at least understand even if not all can make it as a result. Not saying anything leaves it open to confusion and stress all round in my view which is why we tried to be clear but gentle about it. Good luck! X
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