Stepmom got remarried without telling me

my dads ex (sort of stepmum) is 5 years older than me. In fact, there was a 30 year age gap between my dad and her and she had 4 kids with him. They split up (and it wasn't pretty), but throughout that, being similar ages and her having kids, I felt like we were family. We can talk like girlfriends and I visit her and the kids a few times a year. 

She has a boyfriend that shes been seeing for a few years but she's never mentioned marriage or any desire for it. Probably because my dad was so against remarrying.
I got engaged early this year and we eloped 5 months later but it wasnt a secret. she was one of the first people I told. We are planning a small get together in our backyard when we got back, and she said she was coming. Today i got a total shock when I saw a picture of her a wedding dress  on her social media wall and other pictures of what looked like at least 50 people (in a stately home) with all the bells and whistles. Since I planned my own elopment I know for fact that it was not a spare of the moment decision. The kids in suits etc, the venue, number of people etc.

When I confronted her, she made up some excuse that she didn't want to steal limelight which is silly as theres no limelight to steal and also she didn't want the secret getting out about her new marriage, but the fact that her kids see him every week, I'm hardly going to be spilling the beans to him. These things never stay secret. He will find out eventually as did I.

She was more concerned about it being on social media, than the fact that she didn't tell me her news (when she had ample opportunity to) and I found out through some random. if she wanted it to be a total secret, elope!

it's a kick in the teeth when you thought you were friends with someone and then realise it's not true.
its going to be abit ackward since I actually invited her to my wedding party already. What should I do?


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