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People not attending

Hi guys, I really hope I don't sound really selfish, but over the past few weeks I have had so many people I really care about say they are not coming to my wedding and its really starting to get me down. It feels like almost everyone I really care about is not going to come. I say that, and then I feel really selfish because all my grandparents and parents are coming and so is my best friend. These are the people that do matter the most and I am very thankful that they can all make it. But I can't help feeling hurt by the fact that my Godfather isn't coming, my very close cousin isn't coming, and 4 out of 6 of my lifelong close friends aren't coming. I think it hurts because to be honest these people are people I very rarely get to see, due to how busy life is, and I just kind of hoped that I would get to spend the day with them, it doesn't matter what the occasion was, I just wanted a reason to spend time with them. Everybody knew the date of our wedding nearly a year before the day, and yet so many people can't come. I just feel a bit like nobody cares enough about me to have made an effort to be free that day.
Sorry, I know I'm being selfish, and I should just be grateful for all the people who are coming, just can't help feeling this way.


  • You are not at all selfish. They could have tried to make the effort. Unfortunately you can't control what other people do.

    I had people say they were coming at first and then say they are not coming. Some didn't even bother to RSVP. Honestly some I will no longer speak to. Also people cancelling at the last minute and you have even organized them accommodation. 

    All you can do is be thankful for the people that are there to support you and honestly less people means a bit less costs  🙂
  • MrsJamesMrsJames Posts: 406 New bride
    edited 14 January
    Similar happened to me, my Auntie who is also my godmother and my Dad's only sibling knew the date of our wedding 18 months in advance and there was no mention that her and my Uncle already had plans or would not be attending our wedding. 4 months before the wedding at a family christening my Auntie told my mum (not me) that she couldn't attend because my Uncle had already booked to go to a car festival that weekend. Then my cousin lied for them and made out it had been booked before they knew the date of the wedding, despite our save the date been pinned to their fridge 18 months prior to the date. I was really hurt that a car festival  was more important than her niece's wedding, it's something that really bothered me, until after the wedding. 

    Honestly, our wedding was perfect. There were little things that didn't exactly go to plan and obviously I would have liked her to be there, but we had a lovely day. On the day you really don't notice who isn't there, you enjoy the day and celebrate with the people who did make the effort. 

    I know it's tough and not ideal, but try not to let it ruin your day or take the excitement out of the planning. It's their loss as they are the ones missing out on celebrating with you, and at the end of the day you will still get to marry the person you love and celebrate with the people who made the effort.  
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