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Bridesmaids

Ok I need some help! 
My partner and I have eight children together (he has five and I have three) 
his children are 29, 27, 23, 18 and 17. They are all girls but the 18 year old.
my three are: twin girls of 17 and a 13 year old son.
a little history... they are all quite distant from me despite the effort I have made with them. I have found them quite rude in terms of never thanking me for presents etc which I think at their age they should be doing. They have not visited the house I own. One (second eldest of his) lives abroad and She didn’t want my partner bringing me to see her and she would not let her father invite me to her wedding despite him footing a massive bill. They are nice enough to my face but I do t feel close to them all especially as I feel very unaccepted by them. They do dictate my partners life very much for him and this frustrates me.

we have both been married before. 

I am asking my son to give me away. My two girls and two best friends as bridesmaids. I don’t want to ask his children as they have made no effort with me which I would understand if they were children but not adults. It would change the whole dynamic of the night before The wedding with my bridesmaids as I would feel totally uncomfortable. i could not possibly have all four of his daughters alongside my four bridesmaids  (and if I did that would still leave his son out) 
I thought maybe I should just ask his youngest who will alongside my girls be 18 then meaning I have 5 bridesmaids (more than enough) but I think this will cause drama with the other three daughters of his. I don’t even want his youngest as it seems strange that she would be here for a night having never stayed here before and I just want to be with my chosen bridesmaids. It is difficult as she is the same age as my daughters but we just don’t really see each other. I feel at 18 she is or should be old enough to accept my reasons. It would make the difference over me having a lovely night the night before my wedding to feeling totally uncomfortable.

whst do you think us the right thing? 

thanks
alice 




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