I hated my wedding

I got married 4 years ago. I was just pressured into making hasty decisions and my mom was paying for everything and if I disagreed she made a big deal about it and would buy things anyway. So I felt like it wasnt really MY wedding. My cousin/bestfriend was my maid of honor she didnt like any dresses I picked out so I got fed up and told her to pick. Then she tells me a few weeks before the wedding that she doesnt want anything to do with it she didnt even come as a guest bc she decided to tell me my soon to be husband was flirting with her 6 months ago💁‍♀️ whatever, that part is a long story, she admitted it wasnt true later. So I changed my made of honor to my future sister in law. I got my hair and makeup done all by myself. Bc the 1 person that was supposed to go (maid of honor sister in law) bailed. I was crying the whole day. It didnt feel special at all. To save money I had my cousin who was practicing photography take photos and they are ok but I literally only have 2 photos of me and my husband at the alter that's it. The rest is everyone else, the wedding party, cake ect.  It's just so depressing bc I cant even think about that day without feeling just sad. 4 years later. Like what can I do?
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