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Should have been our wedding day

So today should have been our wedding day. My fiance kept saying he "was easy" about what we did today which actually hurt my feelings. I organised bunting, cake, fizz, his best man to still give his speech via facetime, made a playlist on spotify to dance to and he has gone to bed early leaving me to dance on my own. Is it okay that I'm upset about this? We've postponed our real day to next year, how do I hit home to him that we need to be the last ones on the dancefloor next year and there will be no 10pm bedtime? 


  • Mrs_BadgerMrs_Badger Posts: 1,441 New bride
    I’m so so sorry you didn’t manage to get married on the date you had planned and I’m sorry that the day you planned to replace it, didn’t turn out how you expected.
    Men unfortunately don’t think like us.
    To him, it’s just a normal day because the wedding date ‘has changed to next year’.
    perhaps ‘he didn’t want to remember the non wedding date’ (I’m just guessing).

    Try not to dwell on it, next year will be even more special.
  • ClareBClareB Posts: 87 New bride
    I'm really sorry you've had to postpone. We've also postponed and I think everyone deals with things differently - my fiance was similar in that he wanted the day to be what I wanted because he didn't have strong feelings about it. It's not because he doesn't care or isn't upset about postponing, just he didn't place the same weight on the rituals or how we marked that day and I know I'm much more sentimental than he is.

    When it comes to your actual wedding day, I think it'll be very different - he'll be much less likely to want an early night if he's surrounded by family and friends who are there to celebrate with him. However I think the other issue is that you expected something that didn't happen - it sounds like as you did most of the planning, this was probably something you had in your mind but didn't actually articulate to him. It's definitely worth having a discussion about what you'll do at the end of the night on your actual wedding day - I think this is often overlooked and you should agree whether you'll stay to the end of the music, whether you want to say goodbye to everyone, if you want people to see you off, etc. You don't want to find out you have different expectations when you've had a few drinks and you're tired from a long day.
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