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H2B isn't happy that I am wearing a veil - but I want to!

My bridal shop let slip that I had ordered a veil to my H2B and he is upset as he said he doesn't like them and thinks that for a civil ceromony its not appropriate and over the top. (not in a registry office but a lovely 17th century building) It upset me as I am wearing a simple dress, and putting the veil on meant that I felt that I was really a bride and its very romantic (full length to the floor). Now I don't know what to do - as really the person you want to please most on the day is your new husband. The veil was expensive - do you think I should or shouldn't wear it now?



Manna

Posts

  • I think u should explain to him what it means to you and see what he says. I am having a civil ceremony and wearing one - despite my mums objections! Its your day and if you want to be a princess for the day u should be!! I am!!!
  • Hi Manna,



    When trying on Wedding Dresses, I only felt like a proper bride when I had a veil and tiara on so not wearing one isnt an option.



    I'm sure you will look stunning and when H2B sees you in it I'm sure he'll chage his mind.



    Jx
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    just mention to him that it completes the look and how much it means to you, but def dont back down and if he still protests wear it anyway and he will change his mind when he sees you looking stunning with it on
  • Have you considered wearing a shorter veil? He may prefer that and then you still get to wear your veil. The important bit is that you are getting married, but obviously it'sa special day for BOTH of you. You don't want to upset each other about something so small. Compromise and wear a shorter veil. Good luck!x
  • Quoted:
    just mention to him that it completes the look and how much it means to you, but def dont back down and if he still protests wear it anyway and he will change his mind when he sees you looking stunning with it on


    i totally agree with lou_1986 xx
  • I understand what you mean about wanting to please him on the day, but its also extremely important that you please yourself !! If you love it, you wear it !!!!!!!
  • Im having a civil ceremony and a veil, im sure h2b will love it when he sees the complete look. dont be put off, you'll look stunning!! xxxx
  • Oh poor you ..has he got a brother or sister than you can talk to about it or even his mother ?..I would ask their opinion and see what they say ..at the end of the day you have to feel comfortable I am sure that you wouldn't mind if he wanted to wear a green waistcoat instead of blue etc ..



    Talk to him about it though i am sure you can work it out!
  • Hi



    Have you asked him why he doesnt like the idea of a veil?



    You should maybe look for some pics of someone wearing a simular size veil and show him how amazing it looks and he probably will come around.



    Im having a civil ceremony and Im wearing a veil do what makes you both happy.
  • hi were having a civil ceremony and im wearing a veil. I find it a bit upsetting that people have got this idea that having a civil ceremony is less of a big day than a church wedding. Im not in any way religious so not getting married in church but i dont see our wedding day as any less significant. Our venue is a beautiful old barn and were having all the trimmings!!! Jo
  • emsukemsuk Posts: 1,267
    i think ifit makes your happy wear it.

    i asked my h2b what he would hate seeing me in on wedding day and do you know what he said 'a halterneck dress' guess what i've got a halterneck dress. i was devasted so i can sympathise but i'm still having it, as with the full look, make up and hair done and veil (i too am civil cceremony in listed building ) he'll love it and most importantly so do i !
  • Im working on the theory that men really have no idea or place to comment on what their bride is planning to wear, just enjoy the package (and unwrapping it!) on your big day! image
  • I think you should stick with it and wear your veil. My H2b has the same atticude about veils but he does not know I am wearing one. I have a train on my dress and the veil is slightly longer than the train. I think the veil completes my outfit and like you makes me feel like a bride. Your H2B will surely understand how important it is to you and will probably eat his words when he sees how beautful you look in your dress and veil on the big day!
  • I agree, its the only day in your life where you can actually wear a vile and if it perfects your dress, I think you should go with it.



    I am sure if you talk to him and say how much you love it- he will agree.

  • rarajdukrarajduk Posts: 1,784
    Manna - I agree with the others...stick with your choice of wearing a veil, as it completes your overall look, style for the day. When he sees you on the day I'm sure that he will be blown away by how stunning you look, rather than thinking about the veil.



    ...I biased though, as I've chosen a cathedral length veil for my civil ceremony and I LOVE it!



    :\)
  • Thank you everyone - I took your advise and when I told him what it meant to me then he totally understood and agreed that I should wear what I wanted. He is a wedding photograher himself, so he has seen thousands of brides, and finds that veils if worn over the face can make catching her expressions and emotions in her face difficult. So thats easy, I just won't wear it over my face. Talking is always the way forward!



    Thank you all!
  • ellybeeellybee Posts: 1,381
    Quoted:
    hi were having a civil ceremony and im wearing a veil. I find it a bit upsetting that people have got this idea that having a civil ceremony is less of a big day than a church wedding. Im not in any way religious so not getting married in church but i dont see our wedding day as any less significant. Our venue is a beautiful old barn and were having all the trimmings!!! Jo


    Blimey I SO agree with you Jo - that really p***es me off! Like some people see it as a "second class" wedding or something. GRRRR!!!



    Anyway, I've having a civil ceremony and I'm wearing a veil.



    A bridal veil is NOT a Christian thing - the Romans and Ancient Greeks wore them to shield from evil spirits and as a sign of modesty.



    If you love your veil you go ahead and wear it! I think you'll look fabulous!
  • ellybeeellybee Posts: 1,381
    Ooh, just saw your last post Manna - really glad you sorted it out!
  • Hi Manna



    I'm having a Civil Ceremony but I'm not wearing a veil for the simple fact that it would drive me crazy all day and I'd probably end up taking it off after the piccies etc.



    If it's what you really want and you feel comfortable with it - then wear it, after all it is YOUR day aswell.



    Also it's you wearing it not h2b!! (Could you just imagine it!!! lol) and it doesn't matter whether it's a Civil Ceremony or Church wedding whether the bride chooses to wear a veil, it's their option.



    I'm sure you will look stunning on the day!
  • vickycvickyc Posts: 296
    hi, i think a wedding is about 2 people. sometimes they don't agree but love keeps us together and sometimes we need to accomodate our partners ideas. some of the things my h2b has requested aren't my taste but he needs to be happy to so i let him choose the reception venue and menu and bits he wanted to and on other things he has let me do my thing. a wedding is just like marriage...its all a bit of give and take. i think if you explain that you love the viel he'll realise how important it is to you. who cares if it seems a bit over the top to some ppl. i'm wearing a huge skirted dress which is quite overe the top for a civil wedding but it is my dream dress, so i'm wearing it!
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    glad it is all sorted and your h2b understands what it means to you now, it is totally understandable aswell why he didnt want you to wear one aswell as he obviously wants to have wonderful photos of you and see how happy you are image
  • Hadnt even considered this one!! Just asked h2b and he said he wants me to wear one to be a proper bride. However, I hadnt thought about the photo thing - he wanted me to wear it over my face....maybe just to hide my ugliness though!!
  • LegacyUserLegacyUser Posts: 903
    ARRRRGGGGH IM HAVING A CIVIL CEREMONY COZ MY PATR IS SO ANTI-RELIGION!! BUT IM STILL HAVING A HHUUUUGGGGE WEDDING DRESS, FULL VEIL, ETC ETC. NOTHING OS OVER TH ETOP FOR YOUR WEDDING DAY!!!!
  • We went to a wedding recently where the bride had a viel down her back rther than over her face and it looked great. Not having one myself as dress wouldn't suit it, it would hide rather than compliment. Glad you sorted it and got something where you are both happy (also not wearing it over your face means your make-up wont get on it).
  • DalianDaisyDalianDaisy Posts: 118
    I think men have an old fashioned idea of veils and think it's covering you up and they don't realise how lovely you can look and also I think the moment you pull back your veil if you're wearing it over your face is pretty magical.If you're wearing it over your face remember that's just for the up the aisle part- not long at all! He'll love you in it.
  • westergillewestergille Posts: 323
    Does anyone actually wear their viel over their face? I've got a two layer veil which in theory means I could wear it over my face but I think it just looks weird. At least on me...
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