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Is your h2b celebrating his stag do at a strip club?

My h2b is going paintballing throughout the day, then says he wants to go for a meal followed by a few drinks, but I know his mates keep making jokes about going to a strip club etc. he says he doesn't want to go to a strip club, but once he's had a few & his mates are all begging him I know he may just go with the flow. I dont know if it's just me, but I don't want some woman waving her bits in front of his face or giving him a lap dance. The only person who should be giving him lap dances is me. Am I being un-reasonable?



What are your future husbands planning on doing for their stag do's??





















[Modified by: EmilyMay on 06 December 2009 13:23:37 ]



[Modified by: EmilyMay on 25 February 2010 16:32:40 ]
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  • My h2b is going paintballing throughout the day, then says he wants to go for a meal followed by a few drinks, but I know his mates keep making jokes about going to a strip club etc. he says he doesn't want to go to a strip club, but once he's had a few & his mates are all begging him I know he may just go with the flow. I dont know if it's just me, but I don't want some woman waving her bits in front of his face or giving him a lap dance. The only person who should be giving him lap dances is me. Am I being un-reasonable?



    What are your future husbands planning on doing for their stag do's??





















    [Modified by: EmilyMay on 06 December 2009 13:23:37 ]



    [Modified by: EmilyMay on 25 February 2010 16:32:40 ]
  • I agree with you about strip clubs, not my ideal venue for his stag do! For my H2B's stag do, he's planning a country weekend: going to a brewery; country pubs; clay pigeon shooting etc. Staying in a Youth Hostel. It might change but that is his idea at the minute.

    [Modified by: mrspod on September 05, 2009 05:11 PM]

  • Oh believe me your definately not alone. I just dont get why it's become the thing to do for men on their stag do's.



    I will be really annoyed if I find out that he's gone to one after all & will be kicking some serious butt in regards to his best man & mates.
  • Red82Red82 Posts: 58
    My Husband did exactly the same for the day, his mates tried to drag him into a strip club after the meal but he refused. It resulted in him having a 15min stand off outside the strip club with his 'mates'.

    My husband knew how much it would repluse me if he went to one.

    Just tell your h2b in no uncertain terms how it makes you feel, go from there
  • My H2B is on his stag do today.



    He's been paintballing and for a lunch time meal. Now they are all at BM's house watching the footie and having a few drinks then they are going into brum for abit of clubbing.



    They all know better than to go to a strip club, we've been together for 11 years and his mates got a stripper for him at his 21st b'day party in front of me and all his family for god sakes!!!! This was 9 years ago. Anyway it didnt go down well as I saw red and punched the stripper! I've never done anything like that before and never have done since, poor girl it wasnt her fault she didnt even see me coming, whoops! I did say a big sorry afterwards.



    I've never felt insecure and I am a very laid back person I just hate strippers male and female! I dont know where it comes from!

    xx
  • I am completely the same. It makes me feel physically sick to think of another woman getting naked for my h2b.



    Thankfully his mates arent like that (I dont think anyway) ! !



    Tell him your concerns and I am sure he will just tell them no.



    xxxx
  • seffielseffiel Posts: 1,729
    I won't be over the moon if he does but I have no control over what he does on his stag do and i certainly don't want to tell him what to do. Its just one of those things I guess. just try not to wind yourself up about it, because you can't control it! xx
  • 2011bride2011bride Posts: 1,828
    Im lucky, my H2B and his mates have got no interest in strippers, though it seems more socially acceptable for women to have them as you dont have to go into a seedy backstreet pub for a male stripper! I certainly wouldnt want one, saw pics of my mate with a cream covered d*ck being shoved in her face - no thank you, i dont think thats all that appropriate! Anyways, mine and the boys are going to stay on one of our mates canal boats, they dont really do clubbing so it will be a good pub with real ale/cider and probably just lots of sillyness, dressing up, monopoly pub crawl or something like that
  • OMG Browny2b, you punched the stripper.



    I cant believe they got him a stripper in front of his whole family & girlfriend, what were they thinking.





    [Modified by: EmilyMay on September 10, 2009 01:00 PM]

  • We had originally planned to have a joint hen & stag do full of activities, but his mates have talked him out of it, he still wants the joint one but wants an all men stag do too for all his best mates. I've told him I dont want him to go to a strip club & he has promised he wont, but men can be such idiots when they're drunk, everything seems like such a good idea to them. They find farts really funny for crying out loud!



    A friend of mine got married a couple of years ago, they had their stag do the weekend before the wedding & he came back with a shaved head & only one eyebrow. They paid a fortune for the photographer but she still cant look at them without getting upset........men are so smart.





    [Modified by: EmilyMay on September 06, 2009 05:44 PM]

  • Im not bothered about my H2B going or not. In fact i have said he should do. I dont have a problem with them, me and h2b have been to them together, with mates, i even went to one on my hen do infact we went twice!!

    Iam not the least bit bothered about it.

  • yea im not worried about it either. ive told him he can go ive told his best man/bro that anything can happen that nite as long as he comes back alive and in a fit state..
  • My h2b was really stressed about his stag do, wouldn't dress up, didn't want a fuss blah blah, his mates all went home at midnight, and just the boys from MY family took him to a lap dancing club, he's never been to one before, and didn't really enjoy it, but did have a laugh about it, I wasn't even slightly bothered when he told me he had 2 lap dancers on him at same time ( the others has chipped in to pay). I just really wanted him to do something memorable, I see hen nights as doing dares and stag nights in strip clubs!, At least he won't be in other clubs chatting up drunk flirty women!!
  • Mine's going to Vegas with 12 friends for 4 nights.



    He knows strippers are cheating in my book, it's not just about where your body is, it's about where your mind is too for me. He knows how it will make me feel and he knows he'll be waiting a LONG time at the end of the aisle if I get the slightest wind of another woman in any shape or form!



    I'm lucky in that my brother is best man and can keep an eye on the peer pressure.



    I don't think it's about controlling him or telling him what he can and can't do. I think it's about sharing your feelings with your future husband and marrying a man who's not going to do things that he knows will hurt you.



    Mine does have £1000 to spend at the roulette wheel to compensate though!



    Your best bet might be explaining to his mates a few days before hand how much it would hurt you, It would be difficult for them to justify any peer pressure after that, especially if H2B is saying no. Or pinpoint one of them and give him a talking to, so H2B has got an ally who will go somewhere else with him if the rest are rattling on about a strip club. Chances are if they just wander off somewhere else the group will follow the stag.



    xxx
  • I had this conversation with my H2B last night- did u watch "dont tell the bride" he went to a strip club and was having a lap dance and it was on TV- i would go mental it repulses me...he just laughed like i was joking when i said he better not go lol hes just too laid back for his own good!!!
  • I've told my h2bs groomsmen to definitely get him a stripper..................the biggest fattest ugliest 1 they can find!!image

    it doesn't bother me if he went to a strip club for his stag do cause i know its not really his kinda thing anyway and he would just be a bit embarrassed more than anything! I want him to have the best (read worst) night of his life so he never ever thinks of going out again hahaha xXx
  • Mine did end up at a strip club. I know it's almost a tradition with his friends and although I definitely do not love it, I would rather that than try and stop him from doing something he has chosen to do. I don't think he was that bothered but his friends obviously have to travel and spend money to go on his stag do and so it is fair enough him going along with their stag do tradition i think.



    And anyway by the time they go to a strip club on these things they are usually do drunk to remember any lap dances they may have.



    I'd grin and bear it if i were you. I really don't think it's a big deal. It's just a daft disneyland stag do event - more about bravado than anything.



  • Just read through this thread - can't believe you punched the stripped Browny2B, surely it wasn't her fault that she was paid to strip for your other half??!



    My husband didn't go to a strip club for his stag do but that wasn't because I didn't want him too, it was because he didn't want to (I think the fact that I worked as a stripper for a few years took the shine off of it for him haha!!) I would have had absolutely no problem with him going to one though, he's been to them for friends stag do's and I have always encouraged him to have at least one dance (but not spend too much of our money!!) We actually went away for the weekend last weekend and went to a strip club together. We spent about an hour choosing our fave girl, chatted to a few girls for a bit and then had a double dance! I think people take these things far too seriously!! Don't stress yourself out about it, at the end of the day he is marrying you!! image



    xx
  • Quoted:
    Just read through this thread - can't believe you punched the stripped Browny2B, surely it wasn't her fault that she was paid to strip for your other half??!



    My husband didn't go to a strip club for his stag do but that wasn't because I didn't want him too, it was because he didn't want to (I think the fact that I worked as a stripper for a few years took the shine off of it for him haha!!) I would have had absolutely no problem with him going to one though, he's been to them for friends stag do's and I have always encouraged him to have at least one dance (but not spend too much of our money!!) We actually went away for the weekend last weekend and went to a strip club together. We spent about an hour choosing our fave girl, chatted to a few girls for a bit and then had a double dance! I think people take these things far too seriously!! Don't stress yourself out about it, at the end of the day he is marrying you!! image



    xx


    ^^^^ could not agree more. would not mid at all if h2b wanted to go to one there is so much trust we have with each other that a woman could be shaking her bits everywhere and i would giggle. no1 ever think makes stripper are wrong at hen dos but there the same thing.

    as for the punching thing i would not have cared if u said sorry thats well out of order you focused your anger on the wrong person.



    if u cant trust ur man to go out to one then..... why u marrying them!



    xxxx

  • Honestly I don't see the problem going to a strip club, I cannot believe people can fell phyiscally sick/repulsed over it but each to their own I suppose!! If you don't want your man to have one, but he's going to anyway; just remember she's getting paid to do it, hes (hopefully!) not going to go home with her/marry her, and it's just a bit of fun!!



    Also we (h2b & I) always look at blokes/birds in the street together (point out the attractive/non-attractive ones), and we have done since our first date! So in a round about way stripping is just that but with less clothing image

    Then again Trying to egg h2b on to go to a strip club with me (it's a v good but EXPENSIVE drunken night out) & our mates but he won't. Also he gets all the strips he needs at homeimage

    He has banned me from going to Amsterdam for my hen though, image

    BUT we're planning a weekend away together, to amsterdam, so maybe he'll let me!



    If I've offended anyone please let me know, I just think a little honesty goes a long way image



    [Modified by: mrs.surridge2b on September 09, 2009 09:30 PM]





    [Modified by: mrs.surridge2b on September 09, 2009 09:31 PM]

  • I used to freak out at the thought of my boyfriend going to a strip bar on a stag do but now that its his own and were engaged i don't feel like that. Its not my ideal choice for my man but what can you do! He is just back from Ibiza for his other mates stag so i think i've been lenient enough....he says he's going offroad driving for his locally so maybe he's not cut out for the madness of stags anymore lol
  • emms33emms33 Posts: 622
    Everyone obviously has their own opinion on these things but I've never believed girls that say "I wouldn't mind at all" case in point having seen one friend whose said that for years have a near fist fight with her bloke after he'd had several private dances.

    I can't think of anything more gross than celebrating getting married with some sweaty betty rubbing her big tits in my blokes face!!! I'm sorry, for me its not on. I've told my H2B that I don't accept the blokey excuse, he wouldn't like it if I was getting off on some stranger and neither do I.

    I am not a prude at all, but if my blokes going to pay for anyone to get their boobs out, it will be me and he's going to pay in chocolate.

    [Modified by: Emms33 on September 09, 2009 10:26 PM]

  • Quoted:
    Everyone obviously has their own opinion on these things but I've never believed girls that say "I wouldn't mind at all" case in point having seen one friend whose said that for years have a near fist fight with her bloke after he'd had several private dances.

    I can't think of anything more gross than celebrating getting married with some sweaty betty rubbing her big tits in my blokes face!!! I'm sorry, for me its not on. I've told my H2B that I don't accept the blokey excuse, he wouldn't like it if I was getting off on some stranger and neither do I.

    I am not a prude at all, but if my blokes going to pay for anyone to get their boobs out, it will be me and he's going to pay in chocolate.



    [Modified by: Emms33 on September 09, 2009 10:26 PM]



    (I've never believed girls that say "I wouldn't mind at all") - i dont think u have any right to say that each to there own view but to tell some1 u dont belive them is another thing. trust me "I WOULD NOT MIND" and i have not in the past as he has been to them and hes free to go again! so please dont judge people on what ur "mate" did every1 is different........



    [Modified by: meg29 on September 09, 2009 11:45 PM]

  • Well said Meg29!!

    H2b & I have been to peep shows together (can't get him quite into the strip clubs, lol). and I haven't felt the need to punch the lady we're watching.. h2b can do what he wants on a night out as long as he doesn't sh*g anyone else & same goes for me; yippee!!
  • Meg29 and Mrs.Surridge2b - I'm in agreement with you two, I 100% don't mind my husband going to a strip club and having private dances, and when we go to them together it's usually my idea! I like the atmosphere in the clubs and they def don't make me 'repulsed and physically sick'!! At the end of the day, each to their own, but I don't see how anyone can say that no-one would be happy with their man going to a strip club and if anyone says that they're lying - that's just wrong and very small minded!! I wouldn't be happy swinging but I would never think or say that no one would be!!



    I posted on this thread to assure the OP that if her H2B ends up in a strip club, it's not the end of the world. People who have ever been in one seem to have this idea that they're are sleezy, horrible brothels, which admittedly, some are, but if he goes to a 'brand name' place, you'd be surprised at how professionally they are run!! Why not suggest checking one out with him, you never know, you might enjoy it!!



    xx
  • Quoted:
    I posted on this thread to assure the OP that if her H2B ends up in a strip club, it's not the end of the world.


    I'm totally, totally in agreement with this!! He's head over heels in love with YOU and wants to/is going to marry YOU!! window shopping is not cheating, they're (mostly) proffessional dancers not some tart in a red lit window, just remember it's you he'll be coming home to.....



    I cant remember who posted it (sorry) but.... I'd be more horrified if my bloke came back with one eyebrow and no hair (thats sooooo awful!!) image thats the only "rule" as far as i'm concerned.... anything else goes as long as they leave all his facial hair where it is! I've even helped him look for "naked female mud wrestling"! rofl!! why he wants to do that i dont know.... but it's his stag do..... last night of freedom etc etc : )



    x x

    [Modified by: MrsGoodytobe! on September 10, 2009 09:56 AM]

  • I dont care if he goes or not, i know he's been with the lads before and it doesn't bother me. But tbh i dont think he would go, when he has been out with mates he has come home when they have gone to a strip club becuase he thinks its too expensive and a waste of money. I dont think you should be worried about the strip clubs, its the slappers up town that offer it on a plate for free you should worry about, he's probably safer in the strip club, hahah
  • Thanks for your responses ladies, I always like to hear both sides of things.



    To be honest, I'm not even thinking about what he might get up to so trust doesn't really come into it. If he tried something in a strip bar, he'd probably get a slap, it would be more likely if someone wanted to cheat, they would have more luck doing it on a night out round town with the lads, which I dont mind him doing at all,he's just not that kind of person to be honest, so he goes out with his mates & away for weekends with them anyway etc.



    I just dont like the idea of another woman putting her bits in his face & rubbing him up.



    The main thing that seems to be sticking in my mind is that he went to a strip place the other month for his mates stag do which didn't bother me, but when he told me about all the things they paid for the stag to do I remember thinking how upset I would be if I was the stags Mrs...











    [Modified by: EmilyMay on September 10, 2009 08:19 PM]

  • I'm another that's against this. I don't understand why you would celebrate a mariage with another woman half/fully naked dancing in front of you. If my fiance did that, unfortunately, there would be no wedding because he would have deliberately done something that he knew would hurt me.



    I know my fiance wouldn't go to a strip club, but he is still aware that I wouldn't tollerate it. He's thinking about going to the races for the day. It's my view that if he feels the need to go to see a stripper or lapdancer then he's not fully happy with me.



    Please no one take offence! It's just my little opinion! It's very interesting to read everyone else's views about this, especially those who have been to these clubs together!

    [Modified by: Sazzyuk on September 10, 2009 02:12 PM]

  • Quoted:
    I don't understand why you would celebrate a mariage with another woman half/fully naked dancing in front of you. If my fiance did that, unfortunately, there would be no wedding because he would have deliberately done something that he knew would hurt me.


    Ditto to that!



    Its a crazy idea when you think about it and my marriage would be cancelled too if I found out he had gone to a strip club, he knows that and I trust him to accept my wishes on this matter which i feel strongly about.
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