just found out from h2b that he dosen't want to get married!!

have been off sick from work for last 2 days and can't stop crying, it was his idea to get married so soon after we met and i agreed cos i love him but he has started new job about 4 weeks ago and every1 seems to be younger and now he is saying he wants to go out and enjoy him self with friends not to be married with a wife at 24. i've booked the church,venus,ordered my dress my friends are doing flowers dj. but i jut can't tell people his called the wedding off.

i feel so sick.

any ideas what i can tell people?? if i tell family and friends the real reason they turned against him and will make it harder when we do want to get married again.

i was thinking about blaming him and saying he booked church for 2008 by mistake. what does every1 think????

Carls xxxxx


  • Hey Hun

    Big Hugs!!!!!!!!!

    Firstly you need to calm down a little, else you wil make your self ill. Easier said than done, I know.

    Can't really say much until I know:

    How long have you been with H2B and how long have you been engaged?

    Were there any other reasons that he said, or just he feels he is too young? xx

  • ahh hun thats tough,

    you need to have another conversation with your man when you've calmed down you need more information, dont worry about telling anybody anything or cancelling anything yet. plus if he's calling it off then he should make those phone calls and have those conversations!

  • KorenaukKorenauk Posts: 627
    Aw chicken thats horrible!!

    Hope your feeling a little better, i know your prob not but it nice to wish it!!

    if your not getting married until 2008 it still leaves him time to go out & enjoy himself! Just coz he's married doesnt mean he still cnt got out & enjoy himself!

    Have you tried talking to him & find out whats really wrong?

    Thought are with you and hope you manage to sort it all! But i wouldnt lie about the dates coz that could make things worse! Unless he just wants to put wedding back a year or two!
  • Hi Carls

    I'm so sorry to hear your news you must feel terrible. Firstly you must tell your closest friend so that you have some support at such a difficult time.

    A friend of mine was in a very similar siuation a while ago and although she was heart broken that her h2b had called the whole thing off they weren't breaking up so they sent cards out to everyone explaining that the wedding was being postponed as they wanted to save more money to have the wedding of their dreams. You don't even need to explain yourselves.

    Trust me people will understand and be nothing but supportive. As for cancelling stuff why don't you get a friend to help you or even do it for you just so that you have emotional support.

    Are you and your partner still speaking? He should be helping you sort this out after all it was his decision to get married and then his to call it off.

    I hope you are ok


  • Hi Carls

    Really sorry to hear this - you must be feeling awful! I think you need to speak to your partner and ask him exaclt what's holding him back, if he wants to just postpone the wedding etc..

    * huge hugs* hunni, i can't imagine what your going through.

    Why don't you tell fmaily and friends you are postponing the wedding just to make sure its what you both want if you havent been togther that long? Or maybe tell them you need more time to save up so you are more financially secure? Either way, if you do not want them to turn against your partner, assure them all that you are very much in love and will get married when you are both ready..

    Lots of Love

  • Bargin_bride i've only known since mar this year and got engaged in aug----his idea!!!!!!!!!!!

    gonna go and get stuidly drunk with the girls sat nite

    thanks every1

  • hey, im sorry to hear your news chick, dont worry about telling friends and family they all love you and will support you.

    when he says he feels too young to get married & he wants to have fun what exacly does he want to do that he feels he cant by getting married?

    im 27 & my hsb is 30 we have been together for 18 months and i think we moved pretty quickly, we got engaged one year after being together and have now brought our own place.

    i think us meeting in our latter 20's we both lived our own lives first and are now ready to settle down & have fun together.

    i would suggest telling friends & family that you both just want to have fun together without having the pressure of wedding arrangements, you want to spend your wedding money on having fun at the moment.

    let me know how you get on
  • cea3cea3 Posts: 13
    Hi Carls

    Am so sorry that this has happened and hope that your night out with your friends helped you feel loved. I think you really need to sit down with him and have a really honest talk about what he really means. As hard as this will be you need to know if it is just the wedding day, the concept of marriage or the relationship that he no longer wants or is scared of,as each will have different implications for you and where you go from here/what you tell everyone. He does owe it to you to tell the truth and to take responsibility for his decision.

    Whatever does happen people who do love you (family, friends etc) will only care that you are happy and well and will understand whatever the outcome. Agree with other girls find a good girlfriend you can lean on for support and late night sessions - they are invaluable.

    Let us know how you are doing.

    Cea xx
  • bugbabe2bugbabe2 Posts: 174
    Why don't you go out together and show him that just because you are married you can still go out and have a really good time. It is probably just a boy cold feet thing and I am sure that he will come round it has probably just all come as a bit of a shock to him as weddings can be quite tense at times. I agree in telling a close friends to help you through this. I am sure the solution will come to you soon just try and remain positive!
  • Hi carls,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the tough time you're having. I know exactly how you feel as my ex and I got engaged at xmas 2001- after he proposed! We set the date for may 2003. 6 weeks before the day he called it off as "it didn't feel righ", how pathetic is that? I was so mad with him as he couldn't give me a proper reason. i left him, went to live with a friend. i didn't let him know where I was. He tried to ring a few times, but really wasn't that bothered! After a few weeks i agreed to meet him and I went back to him, but things were so hard, especially on the day that was supposed to be our wedding day. I was miserable- looking back I was depressed! i tried to take an overdose but he caught me! Things were never the same after that., but i stayed for another 18 months, then I met the love of my life.

    Are you still living together? Are you still together? If he doesn't want to marry you, then I've got to tell you, you're better off staying single for a while. You don't want to make him marry you as you'll always know he only did it because you made him and that won't last!

    I know it's hard, but you need to discuss it with him. if he wants to go out and have fun, he obviously doesn't value your relationship as much as you do.

    Big hugs, I'm thinking about you! Try to keep your chin up hun.

    Take care.


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