Goodnight to my grandad!

After struggling with bowel cancer for too long my grandad went to sleep for the last time in the early hours of monday morning. i feel like there's an empty space in my heart now. He's the first of my grandparents to go and i'm not quite sure how to handle it. I'm putting on a brave front for my mum and grandma but i feel like i'm collapsing inside. I'm the oldest grandchild so i think i'm sort of expected to handle it a bit better but it hurts so much.



At least he's not in pain anymore and is at peace. i know he wouldn't want people to cry over him and that's what he said so i'm trying desperately to live up to what he wanted. It just feels strange, when i kissed his cheek on saturday afternoon and said see you later i honestly thought i would, but at least he had us all around him at the end and he knew we all care!!!



To anyone else that has lost someone this christmas, i know how you feel and i hope you are finding some way to rebuild your life after the hurt.



Cx

Posts

  • Clarabella, My heart goes out to you, I have also just lost my Grampa, infact he was only buried on Monday, have been really struggling with it as he has been the only family member that was not ill, he passed away in his sleep. Which is the best way to go I suppose... just an eternal sleep! But it was out of the blue, so didnt have time to prepare ourselves. There is never a right time for a death in the family, but it is especially hard over this time of year.



    You dont have to be strong, you are his grand daughter and you are obviously sad by his passing, you are allowed to show emotion!! Thinking of you and your family. xxxHugsxxx
  • Hi Clareabella, really sorry to hear about your loss. my uncle passed away on the 23rd december and it is awful when you lose a loved one. You are being very brave trying to be the strong one but go off and have a good cry, although he wouldn't want you to cry over him he would understand you letting your emotions show now and again. try and remember all the good times you had with him and not his last moments x god bless you all x
  • Clareabella my heart goes out to you. We lost h2b's Nanna on the 18th dec last year to bowel cancer and then my Grandad died on the 2nd Jan this year. Its such a hard thing to deal with and this time of year doesn't make it any easier. I know staying strong is easier said than done, but if you you want to cry, do, I only have 1 grandparent left and I often find myself to talking to those that have left us, it really helps me. Like you say he has gone to a better place away from pain, stay strong hunny xx
  • mrshelen74mrshelen74 Posts: 9,282
    hi hun, sorry to hear about ur loss, we lost my dad 16 years ago on the 29 dec, its makes it more pogient to lose someone over christmas, one of my old work colleagues lost her 19year old daughter a week before christmas.



    Your so right when u say thats hes not in pain any more, but please do cry for him, it may take time, but you be strong tho hun.



    xx
  • clareabellaclareabella Posts: 3,001
    Thanks guys, we have a huge family so there's a lot of us to support each other but it is really hard, especially for my aunt in australia, she can't fly over as she's just had a baby. Katielou i remember your post last week and felt for you then.



    It's hardest on my gran, they have been married 47 years, since she was 18 and she's nursed him through it (along with the rest of us helping when we could) with virtually no help from the NHS -the doctor hadn't been out to him for over a month!!!!

    [Modified by: clareabella on December 31, 2008 01:02 PM]

  • Massive hugs, I lost my Grandad nearly 6 years ago, he died on my due date, thank god I was born nearly 2 weeks late. I still miss him. There's no right or wrong when your grieving we all deal with it and cope with it in different ways. Your Gran sounds amazing!



    Thinking of you xxx
  • tuppenceuktuppenceuk Posts: 5,346
    Just wanted to say how sorry I am, all of you.



    There's no right or wrong way to grieve for somebody - do what feels right. And don't worry if people outside think you should be over it in a few weeks - anybody who's lost someone close will know it takes a while, and will be patient.



    Be grateful that he knew you all loved him, and that he's no longer in pain.
  • after spending some time with the Maori I was once told something that stays with me till this day.... and I share at times like this....

    Kia Kaha e taku Hoa (be strong my friend). was said to me at a time of sadness and the passion with which it was said mearnt so much....

    so please take heart and be strong.
  • Hi



    Sorry to hear of your sad new's.

    Like you say he's not in pain anymore.



    My mum died on New Year's Eve in 1986 at the

    young age of 36yrs! When i was 12yrs old.



    I so wish mum could of seen me grow up, see

    my children and be at my wedding.

    But it just was'nt meant to be.



    I cry for my mum still 22yrs on, I miss her load's.



    Mi x





    [Modified by: chaletcrew on December 31, 2008 01:39 PM]

  • mercedesuk1mercedesuk1 Posts: 2,814
    So sorry to read your sad news, your granddad is at peace now, and he knew he ws loved by you all, he is not in pain, and I bet there were lits of people waiting for him, you let your tears flow for him, and cherish and honour his memory,I bet he was a wonderful man who will never be forgottonby those who knew and loved him god bless and kind wishes to all the family. I am writing this at 8.40am in cancun mexico I cannot get sleeping been up ages, off to have breakfast now.
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