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H2B not getting involved

Hi, Is any1 havin the same problem as me, my h2b is not getting involved in the plans. He's leavin it all up 2 me and doesn't seem bothered. It's really sressing me out cos there's still so much 2 do (we get married in august) He's sayin all he has 2 do is choose the suits and turn up on the day and that's it. I can't make him understand that if he was 2 help things would b done twice as quick. Help!!!!


  • cheryl654cheryl654 Posts: 366
    I think this is the norm Shell. I work with one girl who has just got married and two who are doing it next year and also one man due to get wed in Sept and all say the same. I get married in August too and have quite a hectic work and personal life and sometimes find it hard work but know that as long as I ask him about stuff, he will give his opinion. I took mine to a wedding fayre and he couldn't wait to get away! I have enlisted the help of my sister but feel that on the day, he will be having a wonderful time doing all the things I have arranged for him and am sure he will love it. I have arranged him a few suprises which he is none the wiser about as he's only bothered when it comes to his stag do!!!
  • shell26ukshell26uk Posts: 17
    Hi i'm so glad i'm not the only 1. i have a hectic lifestyle 2. i have an 18 month old and i go 2 college f/time 2. He keeps changing the budget 2. thats gettin on my nerves, 1 minute it's so much then it's another (which is less by about 2k)

    How can i encourage him 2 b more involved though, cos i have only my chief b/maid 2 help really, my sis is away at uni and can't really ask mum cos she's 2 ill. i feel the pressure getting 2 much i think i need a breather.
  • reannaukreannauk Posts: 11
    tell me about it my h2b is the same ,i gave him 2 things to do sort his suits out and book a dj ,and he as not done any and we get married in july ive stop stressing out about it and getting on at him ive had a word with his best man to get him sorted out ,the best thing i know when it comes and everybodys having agood time he will take all th credit
  • Hi, my h2b is a chef and he is making the cake and chocolate favours, he is also going to arrange the menu and his assistant will prepare it all on the day as we have use of the resturant for the reception. problem is we get married in sept which he thinks is ages away so he wont start arranging anything yet. main prob i think is that hes live in usa while im english but move there in june after i finish uni. im trying to organise a wedding abroad and finish dissertation and sort visa, he says he wants to be involved but needs to see things before he can do anything! try not to get too stressed shell, he prob doesnt realise how hard your finding it, talk to him if he doesnt want to get involved ask him to take the baby for an afternoon everyweek or something like that so you can completly focus on wedding stuff without the distraction of entertaining a child. hope it all goes well
  • craftycharlicraftycharli Posts: 3,175
    IF you feel that you need a breather then make sure you have one. I know how hard it is but even with all the wedding prepatations to sort out it is SOOOOO important to have some of your own time, or couple time or friends time when you DON'T think about the wedding after all there are other things in life too! I've been lucky and had my bloke interested in most of our wedding but it wasn't anything I did or said he just was interested so I can't help you with how to catch his interest. I would just explain to him that you're finding it all a lot to cope with and you would love him to be more involved and ask if there are a couple of things that he would like to sort or even give him a couple of things to find out about and sort out! My problem is that my future mother in law thinks that I have made all the decisions when actually they have all been joint - silly cow!
  • blossom25blossom25 Posts: 3,070
    I think men do tend to leave things until they really have to do them. My h2b does give ideas and wants to be involved but it is hard work getting him to organise things! xx
  • kelukkeluk Posts: 1,467
    mine was like this at first then he started taking a interest when i stopped talking to him about it!!!
  • I am having the same problem and it is really beginning to put a strain on our relationship at the moment as we get married in 28 days, I am in the middle of a huge project at work so have no spare time and he is doing nothing apart from make unhelpful comments about how it will all come togehter on the day - I thought this bit was supposed to be fun!!
  • JenniBukJenniBuk Posts: 75
    I'm glad my h2b isn't getting involved. His last suggestion was that he wanted an Elvis impersonator and a bouncy castle. When we went to my nan's (who making the invites for us) out of the choice we had, he picked out the Christening card with a yellow duck on it. No joke. If he's anything like mine, he'll be more of a hinderence than a help!
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