Housemate/Lodger doing my nut!!
Really need to vent before I accidently murder my housemate!
I moved in with my other half about 18 months ago, and we're getting married in August this year. When I moved in his friend was living here already, but it has got to the point where I cannot stand living here anymore and I don't know what to do as it's now causing arguments between me and h2b, and I don't know what to do!
The lodger was initially supposed to move in for 6 months, as his ex kicked him out. He's been here 3 years.. He has no job, does nothing around the house, pays minimal rent and helps himself to all household products. We once went away on holiday for a week, and there were about three sheets of loo roll left. When we got back there were none.. how he managed I don't want to know. He is like a teenager, leaves washing up in his room for days then dumps it on the side of the kitchen, can't work a hoover, plays drum and bass (not my style of music anyway) through the floor of his room. Worst of all he is a pot head, and actually had the audacity to start growing weed in our house!!!! When I found out (due to him asking me to water his plants when he went away!!??!?) he called me selfish for making him get rid of them!!! He has a girlfriend who he argues with regularly. They shout and throw things at each other. I had PTSD as a teenager, and so any rows and banging cause me massive anxiety, and I'm normally in tears hiding in my bedroom.
I have bitten my tongue and tried to remain polite and nice, giving him lifts (yes really) and picking up after him, but I cannot take any more. Him and my h2b have been friends for 25 years, but its got to the point where I am resenting him for the situation, and can't understand why he would be friends with someone like that! I want to move out, but he doesn't want me to. We are starting a family soon (hopefully) and he has asked him to move out at the end of June, but I genuinely feel I can't last that long! I don't know what to do! I feel unsupported by my h2b, but it's such a horrible situation for him; he is the sweetest person on the planet, hates confrontation, and has spoken to the housemate about things in the past, but he ignores it. I don't know what I want h2b to do, as anything he does that will make a difference may ruin their friendship. It's a no win situation, and it's awful. I can't even sleep properly at the moment!
I think normally it might be handle-able, but with the stress of wedding planning, work (I work for Social Services which is brilliant, but can be emotionally draining), and trying to get pregnant, it's all a bit much! I want to come home and relax, but I just cant!