Spending time together?

Do you and your H2B prefer to spend most of your spare time together or with friends?

For some reason this is a subject that fascinates me.....although H2B and I both have full-time jobs and seperate hobbies - regularly taking part in these two/three nights a week - and our own groups of close friends, by choice we spend all of our weekends and spare evenings together, choosing on the most part to socialise with friends together. 

It is important to us to do this. However, we are friends with couples who rarely see each other and holiday alone but seem to have equally strong relationships. 

Just out of interest what is 'normal' for you?


  • Kitten2014Kitten2014 Posts: 1,489

    My OH and I very, very rarely have spare time together. Our spare time, sadly, usually is the 15 minutes before we pop into bed for the night. If we are fortunate enough to have time together uninterrupted by busy careers, his children, pets, sport activities for the children, his clients, etc., we spend it together, absolutely. 

    My OH has several long-time, very good friends. They, however, like us, are all very busy, and also do not have much of a social life. My OH does speak with them on the phone quite a bit -especially his best friend -and they do chat sometimes on social media. But it's extremely rare that we see anyone - maybe once a year or every other.

    I think that it gets harder to have an adult social life once children enter the picture. Suddenly your social life is coaching sport, attending choir concerts, and creating a "homey" environment for your kids to grow up in.

    I think it's interesting that you ask, because I was also curious, especially after my previous relationship. This was a huge source of contention between myself and my now ex. He loved to go out and didn't see why I would rather stay in and bake the kids cookies!

  • Cathy17Cathy17 Posts: 10

    Hi, my OH works shifts so we always prioritise time together on his rest days as I see a lot of my friends and family when he's working. That said, it's surprising how many things can still eat into our time together! We can go weeks without any real quality time together but always have one date night a month (without family, friends or our boys) xx

  • Me and OH tend to spend a lot of time together (we work for the same company) but as soon as we have a drink we argue so I wonder if it'd be better to go out separately. Not sure if that's a good thing though! :/

    It's a very interesting subject! x

  • me and my other half spend a lot of time together too 

    we live with my mum and dad while we pay off the wedding and save for a deposit on a house 

    we make a point of going out together on a date once a week 

    (i made a date night jar for us ) - and its worked so well we also have cinema cards too so its already paid for as we are saving like crazy money can be tight at the end of the month but we can still go to the cinema! 


    tbh He is and was (before we got together) one of my best friends and im so happy we still have that bond 



  • Maria60Maria60 Posts: 113

    We try to spend evenings together, but sometimes and on holidays we together go to meet our friends.

  • elsyelsy Posts: 533

    We spend quite a lot of our time together, although not always actually doing things together. We're currently in the process of doing some fairly major renovations to our house so while that's being done, we're living with my parents (who don't have a particularly big house!)
    We spend most of our time in our bedroom, trying to stay out of the way and giving my parents some kind of normality in their home. James will often be fiddling around on his computer or playing computer games online with friends while I'm doing something else. I will occasionally go out for dinner with friends in the evening after work, although I don't start work until 3.30pm each day so have all morning to do what I like and often see friends then instead of in the evenings.
    We spend every weekend together, driving up to our house in Lincoln and doing bits and pieces to the house, seeing friends up there etc before then heading back down to London to my parents' on a Sunday evening ready for work the following day.

  • Sarah398Sarah398 Posts: 266

    My OH & I met at our martial arts club, so we have always spent some of our spare time together.  Since we have been a couple & lived together etc we spend most of our spare time together without friends.

    We started taking horse riding lessons a couple of years ago as it was on both of our bucket lists, so we do that together once a week too.  

    Through the martial arts & horse riding we have made mutual friends with people, but dont socialise much with them, they are all coming to our wedding though!

    We do have seperate hobbies too, his is cycling & I go to the gym, but even then, he asks me to go with him soemtimes & he joins me at the gym on occaision (we cant stay away from each other!)

    I see my friends about 4 times a year, we are close but life gets in the way, he is the same with his friends.

    The only time we get on each others nerves is at weekends when he likes to be out all the time & I like to be at home, so we compromise & do half & half.

  • MrsM3MrsM3 Posts: 138

    We spend most evenings indoors together (when we are not out doing our separate hobbies!!) but it's normally cooking dinner and tidying... boring!!  We generally have one day together at weekends,  mostly Sundays.

    Saturday's he plays sports and is out all day.  A lot of the time I see friends.  Just depends :)

  • Mrs NeekMrs Neek Posts: 445 New bride

    Interesting topic. My OH and I spend most weekends together, as we both still live at home with our parents (buying our first home together next year). He will drive up to see me in Herts and I'll drive down to see him in London. We try to have date night most weekends, as we both work full-time so we don't see each other during the week. That being said, we also make time to see our friends separately. Also, there's been times were I've had dinner parties at mine and I'll invite all mine and his friends. OH and I try to go on holiday every year- we call this our quality time free from everyone else hehe. We don't have kids YET so trying to enjoy this quality time for now lool

  • EssDeeToBeEssDeeToBe Posts: 152 New bride
    Cathy17 wrote (see post):

    Hi, my OH works shifts so we always prioritise time together on his rest days as I see a lot of my friends and family when he's working. That said, it's surprising how many things can still eat into our time together! We can go weeks without any real quality time together but always have one date night a month (without family, friends or our boys) xx

    Cathy is your OH a police officer by any chance? I only ask because you say "rest days" haha!

    My fiance is a cop and up until 7 months ago he worked shifts (so for 4 1/2 years of our relationship). It meant he only had 2 weekend off in 5 (on, on, on, off, off) which was really difficult - especially when we weren't living together. We always spent as much time as we could together and our relationship was priority over others on both sides. Now that we live together and he is in a Mon-Fri position we still spend every evening and weekend together - I'm just trying to soak him up until he has to go back to shifts!!

  • Angelamay87Angelamay87 Posts: 153

    We spend most evenings and sometimes the occassional weekday together as I work shifts and some saturdays and OH now has a Monday-Friday job, was working shifts but much later than mine, I used to switch my weekdays off to match his when he was on rest days as I didn't see him as much when he was at previous job as we would have opposite shifts which was extremely annoying! X

  • Miaow8690Miaow8690 Posts: 298


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