How to involve my bridesmaid?! Ideas please 🙏🏼

I have 5 bridesmaids and one of them lives in Australia... we are based in UK and wedding is in Italy!

Over the last few months she doesnt seem interested in the wedding at all- I don't want to leave her out so I send messages keeping her updated on plans but she barely responds... and I also make sure I'm not only talking about the wedding... I ask her what's going on in her life, keep updates on what she's doing but she doesn't seem to want to make an effort any more 😞 She's disinterested to the point I sent her pics of my dress and she didn't reply! 2 weeks later and she's spoken to m since but never mentioned the dress! 

I wondered if she maybe feels a bit left out even with the messages as 2 of my other bms organised the hen do, 1 has been helping with DIY and the 5th is my sister! Been to lots of wedding fairs etc. So i thought i might try and come up with a 'task' nothing that'll take too much time but something she can be in charge of to feel needed?! I don't know what that could be though?! 

What would you LIKE to help with as a bm? I don't want to suggest something stupid but want her to feel important... im planning a DIY photoboorh so thought maybe that, or ask her to organise one for the hen Do? Hen stuff is difficult though as I know nothing not even where we are going for the weekend lol it's a big surprise so I don't know what's already been planned! 

Any ideas would be really helpful... THANKS! 



  • Emily54Emily54 Posts: 266

    It's a tricky one without knowing her personally. 

    Some BM's are super excited and want to help with this and that. Others are just happy to turn up on the day and look pretty in the photos. 

    If she isn't responding to your wedding messages maybe she would prefer to do the latter.

    I did not give my BMs any tasks but they were all busy working mums so had plenty of things to be getting on with for themselves. 

    I still keep her up to date with the wedding in the mean time and maybe take her lead with things X 

  • I wondered this but just would like to say 'oh hey do you fancy helping me with 'x'' and giving her the option?

    As a bit of background... Before the wedding planning began she was always really excited and said she would want to help... and she was very involved in her sister in laws wedding planning and in DIY, hen do planning etc etc. So shes definitely the type of person that likes doing stuff like this so I think its probably the more feeling left out part thats affecting it but I'm not 100%? 


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