Fiances family taking over.
I've spoken to my h2b a few times about how I don't like how his family are taking over our wedding. He's a it of a people pleaser so he tells me he will mention it but at the same time doesn't want to upset his family, which I totally get but I have my limits. I don't know if they're being a bit pushy and stuff or whether I'm just over reacting.
To begin with I've personally always wanted the ceremony as me & my h2b and 2 friends or strangers as witnesses. I suffer really bad with anxiety and paranoia, I'm currently even unable to leave my house alone. But my H2B wanted family there so we compromised with a ceremony holding 25 people so that closest family and friends could be included. Then his mum was adding everyone to our list, including family members I'd never even heard of, there was my H2B stepdads entire family added onto the list which quickly pushed our numbers well above our 25 limit. So the ceremony was then changed to fit 80 guests. I have a HUGE family, I have 20+ cousins alone, yet I have 20 family members going compared to his 60. So that was the first problem.
Second issue, my family aren't very well off for money my dad is pretty skint. He offered to pay for our live music for the evening reception which was a wonderful thing for him to do but then my H2B dad has refused to let my dad pay and telling him to save his money. Now, I don't think this was done with any mean spirit behind it but my dad took a bit of an insult to it and I personally got a little upset over how things got so heated.
We are also having problems with his dad with regards to suits. We have h2b Best man, My dad, his dad, his 2 stepdads as groomsmen. My dad works unsociable hours, but has all weekends off and is also able to book days off with notice. H2B dad has arranged for every groomsmen to go shopping for suits but hasn't taken any consideration into my dad being able to go. I politely mentioned to h2b and his dad that I would like my dad to be involved as I feel my family aren't taking much part in this wedding and I was met with "we will go shopping for suit and tell him what store to go to to get it".. I don't think anyone is doing things to be awkward or cause upset but I'm becoming really upset with my family being pushed to the side.
Finally, my mum didn't get to go dress shopping with me as the dress I have always wanted was only available online. So she instead said that she would like to help with flowers or maybe venue decorations. But nope my h2b mum has taken over in that aspect aswell and because she lives further away it's not like my mum can pop round to help.
I've brought this up with my h2b, their family and my family numerous times and I feel like I have just been met with them saying "it's okay we can do it we don't need their help" sort of thing. I don't think they mean to be mean about it, like I've said, but I really don't know what else I can possibly do as my h2b won't get involved in the arguments as he likes to be the middle man.
Am I being ridiculous?