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Will it be anyone else's second marriage?

I got married over 10 years ago and it didn't work out. For my finace it's his first marriage. As I've been married before I was happy to have a low-key Registry Office wedding and a small do for family and close friends but he wants "to do it properly". I'm a little embarassed when people say "OMG are you excited" etc etc ... I'm delighted with our venue and looking forward to planning, but I never changed my name back to my maiden name, purely because it was too much faff.

I'd just be interested to hear from any other brides doing this for the second time. Did you change your name back? Did you have a big do or a low-key wedding?

Don't get me wrong, I'm exciting and looking forward to getting going but some of my friends have eye-rolled me with a kind of "oh not again" attitude!

Posts

  • CE26CE26 Posts: 351 New bride
    edited 10 May
    Hello. I married my first husband in 2009, we lasted 3 years before deciding we just weren't right for each other. I married my new husband in 2016 - it was his first marriage. I have a large family and he had lots of friends he wanted to share the day with, so a smaller wedding wasn't ever really on the cards. It wasn't huge though - about 60 people. But I had a 'proper' dress, my parents treated me to a vintage car (the first time I was already at the venue) and my new husband wanted to be involved a lot more so we did lots of DIY and it was a completely different experience. 

    I did change my name back. It was a faff but for me it was something I wanted to do once I was in a new relationship. I felt a bit odd keeping my former married name - I'd pretty much started my life over so having my maiden name back felt right for me. 

    I'd say dont be embarrassed at all and if someone eye rolls let them. Just because you're having another wedding shouldnt make it any less special. Savour the build up now you know what to expect. Learn from any hiccups/ mistakes / didn't likes from the first time round and have the day you want - no matter size it ends up being. 
  • CE26 said:
    Hello. I married my first husband in 2009, we lasted 3 years before deciding we just weren't right for each other. I married my new husband in 2016 - it was his first marriage. I have a large family and he had lots of friends he wanted to share the day with, so a smaller wedding wasn't ever really on the cards. It wasn't huge though - about 60 people. But I had a 'proper' dress, my parents treated me to a vintage car (the first time I was already at the venue) and my new husband wanted to be involved a lot more so we did lots of DIY and it was a completely different experience. 

    I did change my name back. It was a faff but for me it was something I wanted to do once I was in a new relationship. I felt a bit odd keeping my former married name - I'd pretty much started my life over so having my maiden name back felt right for me. 

    I'd say dont be embarrassed at all and if someone eye rolls let them. Just because you're having another wedding shouldnt make it any less special. Savour the build up now you know what to expect. Learn from any hiccups/ mistakes / didn't likes from the first time round and have the day you want - no matter size it ends up being. 

    Thank you so much for your response, that's really reassuring! I've spent the afternoon looking up shoes and dresses etc. My first wedding, we had a joint hen and stag and I had no bridesmaids so it will be nice to do that this time.
  • CE26CE26 Posts: 351 New bride
    I married quite young (21) so it surprises people that I'm on my second husband most of the time. I just joke that the first time was a trial run. Practice makes perfect after all. I also joke about having a third wedding but probably keeping the same groom - I love weddings. 

    The only thing I insisted on was no mention of the ex husband on the day itself. Day to day I didnt mind jokes about the divorce at all, but on the actual wedding day I just didnt want the ex to get any kind of airtime. 
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