only having 1 bridesmaid

ok here the story



when i got engaged i asked my 2 bestfriends to be my bridesmaids. me and my 1 bridesmaid are still as close as ever but me and my other bridesmaid have driffed apart and she decided 5 weeks before her wedding she doesnt want me as a bridesmaid and she doesnt want to be mine. it was horrible as i still viwed her as my best friend even though things were different between us, i guess it shows who true friends are.



but anyways i am now left with my 1 bridesmaid and 2 flowergirls and i am worried this is not enough. i have never been to a wedding where there has only been 1 bridesmiad and dont want people to think i dont have enough friends or was skimping on cost and i keep thinking my pictures are going to look weird with only 1. i have other friends mainly 2 in mind i could ask but i feel bridesmiads should be people who i am really close too.



am i being silly thinking 1 bridesmaid and 2 flower girls are not enough?

or should i view this as a way to get closer to some other friends?

Posts

  • kittykinsukkittykinsuk Posts: 611
    "or should i view this as a way to get closer to some other friends?"



    sorry just incase that doesnt explain a lot i mean should i view this as a way to get closer to some other friends by asking them to be bridesmiads?

  • How terrible for you. That was quite harsh of your friend. I don't think theres anything wrong with having just the one. You're right... BMs should be people special to you. Don't just have someone for the sake of it- nobody is going to judge you on how many you have. I'm having 2 (family) but if one were to drop out, I'd just have the one to save picking a replacement out of my friends. One will look fine and it frees up a bit of budget for you to spend on something else xx
  • i was going to ask same question, im only having 1 'adult' bridesmaid and 2 young ones (3+4). i have 3 other close friends but cant afford to have them all and couldnt choose between them. So just have my best friend. Im just going to make sure i get pics with the other girls in quite a few!



    Sorry to hear about your friend but it is true you find out who your true friends are as you go along in life! I would say if you have 2 other close friends that you would like to help you/be with you on the morning etc and can afford to get 2 extra outfits and things then go for it. But i wouldnt ask them just for the sake of having more, if that makes sense?



  • Hey, I think one bridesmaid and 2 flower girls is more than enough. People often do this because they have so many friends they just wouldn't know how to chose between them! I certainly wouldn't think you were skimping if I went to your wedding. Why not use it as an opportunity to show what a great best friend you have and how noone else can compare to her? It's really awful what your old 'friend' did that to you but as you say it really shows who your true friends are. I think its a great opportunity to share a special time with your best friend that you'll remember forever...you're far better off without someone who could treat you so badly and Im a great believer in what goes around comes around!
  • I'm sure it'll be fine image



    I'm not having any bridesmaids image
  • kittykinsukkittykinsuk Posts: 611
    thanks everyone you've all said lovely things which have helped a lot. i love the idea of it being a special time for me and my best friend and i should just stick with her and just have some photos with my other friends on so i have some memories with them.



    anyone got any ideas how i can involve my other 2 friends i am close to but not close enough to have as bridesmaids in the day?
  • Firstly you are better off with your "friend" not being a BM - sorry the friendship went wrong.



    Secondly you can have whatever you like!! I am only having one adult BM and NO junior or FGs. I did worry it will look like I am "milly no mates" or that it will make the pictures look funny (esp when h2b started talking about having TWO best men!!) however I would rather look back and know that the girl who was there on the day with me was a good and lasting friend that look back at a picture of 4 BM and realised that 5 years on I was only close with 1 of them!! Hope that makes sense.
  • You could ask them to do readings? Or be your witnesses. Thats how I'm involving H2B's sister xx
  • I'm only having one BM and one flower girl - I never even thought this would be too little. BMs are there to help you and share your day ... I don't want three or four other girls around me when I'm getting ready etc - just me, my BM and my mum!



  • VodkaggirlyVodkaggirly Posts: 721
    I'm only having 1 bridesmaid. Thought about asking others but after reading some threads complaining about bridesmaids I thought seriously about how they would be and decided I was best off not asking! Makes life alot easier with just one as well.
  • drobinson1984drobinson1984 Posts: 1,071
    What a crap friend she has turned out to be!! Unfortunately weddings seem to be the way of determining your friends from your 'friends' - as I'm finding out myself!! (Seriously, a friend deleted me from facebook as I politely asked her to let me know if she could make my hen do 2 months after everyone else has confirmed?! WTF?!) Some people are just thoughtless and immature!



    In response to your question 1 bridesmaid and 2 flower girls is plenty - I've only got 2 flower girls as although I have plenty of friends they're not friends that have been there through thick and thin, either that or they are new friends that I wouldn't feel comfortable asking after such a short time.



    I say stick with what you have, no point in asking others for the sake of it, or else you would've asked them in the first place. You can have as many or as few as you want image



    You could always as your other 2 friends to do readings, help arrange your hen do, help with making the invitations/bagging favours etc - why not have a girly night in at yours and you can share a bottle of vino or 2 over these activities? xx
  • beckyb34beckyb34 Posts: 75
    I am only having my sister as BM (she will be 23) and thats it.



    I was going to have my friend but she is VERY self centered and Jealous that Im getting married and she is not, and I dont want the stress! SO I am getting her to do a reading instead and thats it.

  • Alfie222Alfie222 Posts: 276
    Hi! My sister is only having me as a bridesmaid, she's 33 and has been a bridesmaid herself so many times she didn't want the politics of having some of them and not others - and she also wants the people who have always been there (me mum and dad) with her on the morning and not lots of fuss, just us relaxing, having a nice bottle of wine, getting hair done, etc. I'm having her, my best friend and my two little god daughters - but my sister has a far bigger social circle than me and her decision by no means indicates she has no one else to ask. When women get to the age that they're getting married I think most are mature enough to appreciate these decisions.



    Your friend's attitude in pulling out from being BM at your wedding is frankly, very rude, selfish and immature. She could have explained her reasoning to you in not having you without doing this, i'm sure.



    I've never expected to be anyone's bridesmaid - my sister wants a very informal wedding and very nearly had no bridesmaids at all.She has the money, but a giggleing entourage of girls with bows round their waists isn't her style. I would have been with her on the wedding morning regardless, would have stood proud as her sister but would have been able to get myself a fancy dress of my own choice! Our weddings are only 5 weeks apart, but it wouldn't have made any difference to me. I know i'm a special person regardless, as do each and every one of her old friends.
  • Hey, if you wanted to involve the other friends (giving them a job as it wereimage) its a great idea to ask them to do readings as said before or you could maybe ask them to help you get ready the wedding morning (if you dont mind having others there) or even have a little get together the night before...just you and your special friends...face packs, bottle of wine and lots of girly gossip..a celebration and a last nod to your time as a single girl with them! image
  • ChardonnayChardonnay Posts: 1,761
    I am having one adult bridesmaid (my closest friend) and two little flowergirls (my god-daughters). have to say, it never occurred to me this would look strange- stick to who you originally wanted, the main idea is to have close friends/family nearby, rather than it being a popularity contest! I think a lot of people feel it will look like they have fewer friends by only having one- personally, to me it meant I deliberately chose *one* very special person to share my day with, and she was so touched by that she cried when I asked her.



    Enjoy your day xx
  • Hi, I am also only having one adult bridesmaid... my sister. We are really close & I'm looking forward to just having her & my mum with me when we are getting our make-up & hair done & are getting into our dresses image I am also having a young bridesmaid/flower girl who is my cousin. I have thought about having various friends but for one reason or another I decided against asking them. Plus points for me are that it will save money to spend on other parts of the wedding, and it will make life so much easier when picking a bridesmaids dress... I only have to think about what colour & style suits my sister & not worry about anyone else!



    Hope that helps x
  • Miss_PenguinMiss_Penguin Posts: 1,020
    I only ever wanted one bridesmaid, that's what suits my wedding. Don't rush into having a replacement bridesmaid, they might feel hurt at being "Plan B"!
  • GoldsGirlGoldsGirl Posts: 497
    i don't have any. just a 5 year old flower girl! x
  • IBFunkyukIBFunkyuk Posts: 976
    Hi, I only had my sis as my bridesmaid, we have all been bridesmaid for each others wedding and i felt I couldn't choose who I wanted, I did know I didn't want lots of bridesmaids, I gave my mates jobs to do and they loved doing them....our day was fab...and a slice of advice do what you feel is in you heart, if you have a friend who will be there to help and 2 little ones then so be it, if the other friend does not want to get involve then maybe she is not that good a friend.



    I would not have changed my dad with just my sis...our wedding was about all the people we love and thats what it was..


  • kittykinsukkittykinsuk Posts: 611
    thanks sooo much to all of you've no idea how much everything you've said has helped.



    i am completely over what my friend did and realised how lucky i am not to have self centered people in my life any more.



    thanks girlies image
  • AlyBallAlyBall Posts: 695
    I'm only having 1 BM and it's my aunt. We're very close and because of that and the fact that she is so good with my wee one it just sealed it for me. I have a few very close friends that I could have asked but a) I couldn't have made a choice between them (3 of them) and b) I couldn't have afforded to have them all as much as I would have liked to.



    So we have 1 BM and 2 FG and that's more than enough as far as I'm concerned. I think the pictures will look great because it will be all very personal.



    Hope this has all helped!



    Aly

  • I think asking your 2 friend sto do a reading would be anice touch.

    Like others have said I don't think having 1 bm and 2 fg's will look at all odd.
  • Hi



    Im just having my 13 year cousin. I was the only bridesmaid at my aunties wedding when I was her age, think it will be nice to have just her at mine.



    Some of my close friends are doing readings, and are organising my hen night for me. I really dont think it matters. In fact some of my mates are relieved as they can enjoy the day x
  • MrsCoe2bMrsCoe2b Posts: 150
    I dont think thats a probleme at all.

    I am just having one bridesmaid and that's my sister.

    origionally i had asked 2 of my best friends one of em has just had a baby so didnt want to hassle her and my other friend is not really supportive of the mariage and she was upset that everyone knew the date and she didnt eventho i hadnt even spoken to her but the friend whom i told the date had told her eventho it was my place to say!



    Anyway i am really happy to just have my sister and mum with me in the morning and the night before,because i didnt think my sister would be coming as she lives in texas image So for me i am having the perfect wedding party.
  • EmzillarEmzillar Posts: 444
    I'm not having any bridesmaids, only our 17 month old daughter as our flower girl.



    It doesn't matter what other people think, its your wedding. I haven't got many female friends, and the ones i do have i wouldnt class as being close enough to play such an important roll in the wedding.



    Me & h2b are more thsn happy with what we have planned for our wedding, and to be honest if people dont like it thats their problem. It's your day hun so remember that image xx
  • smiffy101smiffy101 Posts: 78
    I'm only having my best friend as bridesmaid as i dont want to ask people just for the sake of it, it will be lovely and cuts down on opionons for dresses !
  • I'm also having 1 bridesmaid (best friend) and 2 flower girls (nieces).
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