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Can anyone tell me what I'm suppose to be doing??


Wedding is now one year and 8 days eek!

Started off really well when we got engagend a year ago, booked the reception, cars, band and photographer. Havent done a thing since!

I'm going to get my bridesmaid dresses next week, but I'm not sure about a few other things and was hoping some of you could give me some advice?

When should I go see a florist?

When should the men get fitted for thir kilts?

I havent heard from the church since I booked it a year ago, should I get in touch again?

What happens on the day with my table arrangments, I'm making them myslef - do I just explain to the reception how I want them and they'll set it up that way?

If the church offer to organise the flowers for me, do I pay them ,and can I still specify what I want?

Questions questions questions and this is just the start, some guidance anyone??

Ta xx image


  • IBFunkyukIBFunkyuk Posts: 976
    Hi....lets see if I can help a bit ok so you have done some of the major bits below is I think all the things we had on our list. what we did it wrote down all the things we could think of from the venue to the dads ties then did a spread sheet and started to add dates when we had booked, paid the 1st deposit second and so on. I wanted everything booked by the xmas we got married oct allowed us not to get over stressed as we had all the major things booked, we sent the invites out in the March and wanted them back by Aug, we did the day ones first then if people pulled out we had a reserve of nite people we changed. I spent ages designing out table plan as we did it by person not by family...if we thought thay would get on due to work or humour they would be put together, I raided the £1 shop for the kids goody bag. we had a halloween theme so did fancy dress comp for the evening, we wanted our whole family to be involved in the day, I had this thing I wanted it all sorted well before our wedding and it worked neither of us were stressed.. Also let your groom do some stuff, my hubby chose invites, cake, his suits, my ring some of the flowers......please see below for my list and also my wedding report for some ideas

    Venue started looking march 08 booked by june 08

    Photos - was friend so booked 18months before

    Invitations got 9months before wedding

    Flowers - booked a year in advanced

    Registra- had to book and see a year in advance, had civil wedding

    Chair Covers X2- month before, we just had them

    Cake - book a year in advance, you will see why

    Cake Topper - year in advanced as was hand made

    Cars booked month before, I had no car

    Favours - did cancer research, bought 2 months before

    Goody bags - started getting bits 6months before as soon as halloween stuff was in I bought the lot!!

    1st Prize Trophy month before

    Wedding Ring Mine - 10 months before, was custom made and took us a year to find!!

    Andrews - I bought it as a surprise 4 months before from goldsmiths

    Wedding Necklace - dad bought as a gift, got given it on the day

    Card names tags - 4 months befors

    Table Plan started 8 months before and changed it 10 times!!

    Hair booked with my hairdresser and we did do's each time I had a hair date

    Make up booked 4 months before trial 2 months before

    Shoes - got in debs sale month before

    Underwear got before I had first dress fitting in the march.

    Wedding Dress - ordered dress May 08

    headdress - May time 08

    Brides Maid Dress - sorted by Nov 08

    Groom Suit - he sorted march time, they had normal suits not hired so they could all wear them again, and they all have...

    Groom Cufflinks

    Groom Shoes

    Best Man

    Father of Bride

    Father of Groom

    Step Dad

    Ties X 5 month before

    Shirts X 5 month before

    Hankies x2

    Wedding Report

    Sorry for long post, if you want me to email with our spread sheet mail me....Zoe

    Hope this helps...
  • IBFunkyukIBFunkyuk Posts: 976
    When should the men get fitted for thir kilts? - depends how long it take, are they being made?, I recon 6 months before you wed.

    I havent heard from the church since I booked it a year ago, should I get in touch again? - def contact them,you may need to fill stuff in.

    What happens on the day with my table arrangments, I'm making them myslef - do I just explain to the reception how I want them and they'll set it up that way? - Tip for each table have a box, in each box have seating plan, table seating cards, favours, any table glitter. and anything else then on the day the people who are setting the room up will know to the T where everything goes.

    If the church offer to organise the flowers for me, do I pay them ,and can I still specify what I want? Not sure on this one, ask maybe in gerneal topics or planning jsut the question, I am sure someone can help. with the flowers I took pic's off the net of things I liked and would not budge when people wanted to change it, also use in seasson and british flowers it will keep the cost down. Zoe x
  • shem83shem83 Posts: 699

    Our wedding is next June, we've got the main things booked too. I think now it's more of a waiting/saving game until 6 months beforehand.

    I'd definitely look at florists now.

    When you booked church did they take all your details? Date of birth/parents details etc? If so, thats all they need for now. Do you attend that church? If not, it may be useful to show your face on a Sunday every once and a while, that way the rev can let you know when he needs you to finalise details etc and it might be nice to get to know him/her.

    There's normally a flower team at church who can do your flowers, with any luck you can catch them too and give them an idea of preferences.

    Got your dress sorted? Shoes/accessorites? Nows a good time to look, sales are on!

    I went to see my reception venue a few weeks ago and they said they contact you a few months before wedding to finalise details. You will be able to find out also if theres a wedding the day before yours, if not, you should be able to get into the room to set tables up.

    If there is they can normally get staff to set tables up, agree to what Zoe said about getting plans together for them to see. But theres plenty of time for that.

    Our mens suits will be hired, we won't be booking them until Jan next year. I reckon thats plenty of time - don't know how kilts work. I'd make some enquiries.

    Do you wnat any entertainers/bands? I'd book them now.

    I'm just using this time to browse through shops and pick bits and peices up as i go along.

    I recon you'll be covered.

    Good luck!


  • Book florist and photographer first i think. and double check with your church
  • Ally_WarlowAlly_Warlow Posts: 104
    look at the checklists on the website, it lists what to do when, also means you don't forget anything because it's all there on the list.
  • Miss_PenguinMiss_Penguin Posts: 1,020
    I get married 4 weeks tomorrow. In the last 6 weeks I've sorted out a photographer, transport, a florist (hopefully) and hair and make up. I still have stuff to sort out. A wedding doesn't have to take over your whole life, don't stress about it! Prioritise the things which are important to you. For me it was venue, dress and music.
  • when organising daughters wedding we did most things 2 years before.

    We had a period with nothing to do but look for ideas for different things.

    spent fortune on bridal magazines.

    our florist would not accept a booking until 1 year before wedding

    do you need to book the registrar if you are R.C

    Dress ordered 2 years before

    Jewellery one of first things purchased

    venue - booked 2 year before, got in touch couple months before

    taxis - booked 2 years before they got in touch 2 weeks before

    photographer - booked 1 year in advance

    disco - 1 year before got in touch 2 weeks before

    booked cake maker 6 months before

    sent save the date cards 10 months before as got married this june

    sent invitations end January return date end march, even then some people changed theirs minds after accepting (good holiday deals)sent off details for table plan to printer couple weeks before wedding it was out of date by the time it came back with people changing mind

    when we ordered place cards we ordered extra glad we did with finding people to fill in last minute

    bridesmaids dresses ordered november came in february

    it may not apply to you as doing your own table decorations but we hired large glass vases three were removed from venue we got one back but we lost our deposit to cover the cost of the missing 2

    if you want people to take your table decorations it might be worth while leaving a little note to say so or not to remove?

    some churches ask for a donation or you have to see the decorating committee chek if any other brides tha day to split cost
  • Hi

    I have only 32 days to go but got engaged Feb 2009.

    We booked venues first and pretty quickly.

    Photographer about a year in advance

    Videographer about 10 months in advance (recommended by photographer as they need to work together)

    Save the Date Magnets ordered about 9 months in advance and sent out to all those we knew we definitely wanted at our wedding (family and close and old friends) I would recommend that you look at doing this sooner as it is the holiday period and people book their holidays very early so if you want something to do now write a guest list of all those you definitely want to the whole wedding and get some save the date cards/ magnets ordered (ebay is great!)

    I ordered my dress about 5 months before but had been looking the whole time - took me ages to find The Dress.

    Only just ordered my bridesmaids dresses but bought the jewellery about 4 months ago.

    Checked out flowers over a year in advance and decided who we wanted to use but couldn't book until a year in advance. Didn't choose the flowers until about 1 month ago although booked them last year and paid a deposit.

    Our church has flower ladies who will do the flowers after a consultaion with me deciding what I wanted and would fit with the rest of the day. I have to pay for the flowers and they have to stay in the church but the women are volunteers so I do not have to pay for their time and effort.

    I would also recommend starting to think about the food - what options will your caterer give you. Think about firstly what you and your H2B like and dislike then about what your immediate family like and dislike. Then think about your guests. A lot of our guests do not do fine dining so we didn't want anything too over the top and we have avoided fish and shellfish (except in the cananpes). It is harder than you think to work out a menu where the courses go together. If you start thinking now it will give you plenty of time to research and select and try options (if you eat out or cook them) and you will have a better idea of what to go for before your official tasting.

  • Keeno1978Keeno1978 Posts: 5
    I feel exactly the same. I am getting married in May next year and apart from saving money Ive got nothing organised. I simply dont know where to start. So if anyone can help you, can they help me also haha x
  • h4baineh4baine Posts: 70
    Hello everyone,

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  • I agree with Miss Penguin!! I'm getting married in less than 3 months and have only just found my wedding dress!! (it's not even a wedding dress because they didn't suit me, I just couldn't find one I liked so I'm wearing an evening gown instead) Don't stress, just make sure you have a master list and don't be afraid to ask people (friends and family) for help. You'll be fine, it will all come together, as long as you've thought about everything, you'll see xxx
  • h4baineh4baine Posts: 70
    Keeno-I sent you a private message image
  • We got engaged in Oct last year and the wedding is Sept this year so the timing was quite tight.

    Sorry this is really long

    We booked what I consider to be the big things first - this will depend on where you live as to how many suppliers there are.

    Also don't forget people can get booked up 18 months in advance, don't want to scare you but we found someone had booked a date in 2014 - I hope they are still together then lol! I've added some tips where i can even though you have already booked some of these. keep on eye on the costs at all times as little extras can soon add up

    A great source of contacts are your local wedding fayres. Go to as many as you can as you can get magazines, ideas etc from them.


    If you give them a design of the tables they should set these up for you in conjunction with your florist. Put each tables decorations,place names etc into individual boxes and take over the day before the wedding. If they have a wedding planner use them! Also do your food tasting a few months beforehand, it gives you a nice evening out and we had a few as we couldn't decide. Remember you can't please everyone!


    The good ones get booked up quickly.

    Ask if you can see portfolios of their work and think of the type of photos you like - e.g. staged or natural when guests don't know they are being taken.

    Ask what you get in the price e.g we get 2 photographers so one with me and one at the other halfs house when you both get ready in the morning, it also means you can have photos of your guests arriving before you get there.

    How long are they there for - do they stay until the first dance or go after the speeches?

    Do you get a pre wedding photo shoot.

    Do you get the photos on CD/DVD so you can print your own. This is a really important point as your folks,nan long lost aunty may want copies and they cost a fortune if you go to the photographer.

    Your Dress / Bridesmaid Dress

    It is at this point you need to think of a colour scheme. This usually runs through to your invitations, table decor and flowers. Don't rush this as I changed my mind from red to teal!

    Finding a dress can take a day to find or 6 months, shops who order in like it to be done 8 months beforehand. Dresses can take 6 months to arrive and then 2 months to alter. Mine was the 2nd dress I tried on but try on loads, I tried about 50. This makes sure your dress is the one, but hey most people get married once so make the most of it and try on the biggest and most hideous in every shop as its something to giggle about at a later date!


    Match up with your tiara to get a complete look. This can be done later on but bear it in mind when your out and about at the shops especially in the sales.


    Keep an eye on the precious metal prices as platinum went up by £60 per gram in one day and they are still rising.

    Birmingham jewellery quarter have really good prices for rings and beat any high street chain as it is an area of Bham that specialises in jewellery at trade prices. When buying a ring check out how much of a metal you are buying. We went to 5 shops for platinum which come in light, medium and heavy weight. Each ring will have a certain amount of grams of metal in them which differs from shop to shop. We found one ring which was classed as heavy weight which had 10.4g of platinum. The next shop had a medium weight ring which had 14.3g of platinum. Both rings were about the same price but you got more in the 14.3g one so you paid less per gram(sorry if this is confusing!).


    This can be done 6 months before the wedding as there are quite a number of florists. Check that they will deliver button holes to each house, and set up at the venue. They can provide extras like candle holders, mirror bases etc. If you have vases they usually hire these out but check to see if you can buy them cheaper elsewhere.


    This depends where you live as to when you book them. Think of the distance between home and venue as some old vintage care charge per mile or won't do a long journey. I found that some cars have a 4 hr time limit so try to negotiate this if you can.


    6 months before (after colour scheme decided)We made our own, so we didn't send save the date as this doubled the price of postage, time spent making them and materials needed. If you have a guest list sorted, send out the invites as this will save money. The earlier you send them, the sooner you can get an idea of numbers, costs and if you need to add people to the day from the evening. We did the day ones first and the evening ones a couple of months later - but be mindful of peeople booking holidays if the wedding is in the middle of summer.


    6 months before. We were told to go for fittings 2 months before hand but pick out the ones you want before that so you can secure them with a deposit.


    ASAP! Again - good ones get booked up quickly. You can secure someone with a deposit even if you don't know what design you want. Give them at least 3 months notice of your design so that they can fit it into their schedule.


    Book trials 1 month before. You will need any hair accessories e.g. tiaras when you do this.


    Book 4-5 months before. Meet with them beforehand to discuss your style of music. We had a meeting and they mentioned a song called Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle as a dance with the bride and her father. Read the words and they bring a tear to your eye, its about a father giving up his daughter as she is getting married and it goes from birth.


    For the wedding party and H2B. I'm struggling with this so if you think of something write it down for a later date with where you saw it.

    Favours / Table Decorations

    These will form part of the table decorations. Use Ebay to death as there are loads of wedding suppliers for ribbon, favour buckets, table scatter gems/crystals.

    Hen Party

    Get someone else to do all this for you. Pick someone reliable so all you have to do is turn up and look pretty.


    We did this last when we knew how much everything else was costing. No point having an amazing honeymoon if you can't afford the wedding!

    Don't forget that other people will try to poach your time to help them buy their outfits so plan this into your schedule.

    Enjoy the planning, if you do it early there's less stress at the end. Don't forget to delegate as I found out the hard way that you can't do it all yourself (I've spent a small fortune in gaviscon!)

    Good luck!

    p.s. has anypne got any ideas on bridesmaid gifts or where to get shoes for a 2 year old from as I can't find any!

  • geri20geri20 Posts: 1
    Hi Everyone,I am an established wedding planner and love to share hints and tips!I've organised weddings in 4 weeks from start to finish!It can be done.

    However,contact the florists NOW and ask to see any weddings that they are doing now so you can see their work.Some flowers are seasonal but most general ones can be purchased from the suppliers(ask to see their catalogue)ASK questions,they are the trained professionals and MOST will be happy to help.

    CONTACT the church and ask for written confirmation,they should have a booklet with timelines in(banns, rehearsals etc).

    Ask the church about doing the flowers,some are really happy to do them, they all have different policies,you provide the flowers or sometimes the volunteers do (beautiful English garden ones which you can add to)with a donation.You can also use the church flowers to decorate you reception-just make sue you tell the church and organise someone to have them transferred!

    Reception-table decor-does the venue have an in place wedding co-ordinator? This is often the duty manager,you need to set up a meeting with them and specify what you would like them to do for you, exactly, they need to see YOUR vision,remember they cannot read minds, most are very willing to help,they want you all to have a great day its what they are there for.As for the kilts, ask the supplier - they will tell you when to go. I know its my profession,but if you can afford to, hire a wedding planner for the day, all the money you spend and the time it takes to organise you both deserve to totally relax and enjoy your once in a lifetime day to the full knowing that a pro is overseeing EVERYTHING (put it on your present list!)image
  • SezboSezbo Posts: 8
    Hi there

    I got engaged in February 2010 and marry October 30th this year. I've also been chief bridesmaid twice this year. I just wanted to echo some of the others and urge you not to panic. This is easy for me to say as I'm more of a last minute sort of person but it worked for me.

    In order I would suggest - write a guest list, list everyone you want to be there and get an idea of how big the party will be. Will you have an evening do? This helps to define the budget also and it helped me to have an idea of whether I wanted an intimate family affair or a larger occasion - I've got 140 to the day and 60 extra in the evening.

    Four days after I got engaged I bought the dress, just through cicumstance. A few weeks later we provisionally booked the venue and the chapel and then we could relax.

    Personally I've enjoyed just letting my wedding happen and being inspired by things around me. It has taken shape itself. A fortnight ago I chose the cake, tomorrow I'm getting the veil. It's great fun.

    Keep a book of ideas and don't believe the hype, it can be a relaxing and wonderful time!!! Also, i didn't want to spend so much time on the wedding that I was left feeling bereft after the event (as had happened to some of my friends). Mostly remember it's about you and him.

    However, I may lose it in the next few weeks!

    Good luck. xxx
  • hvcampbell-

    Yahoo answers says that 2 year olds can have anything between size 5 to size 9 feet. I'm presuming your two year old is somewhere between these, and you just need some pretty, relatively plain, satin shoes (for a girl). If not them I'm afraid this won't be much good for you!

    Bhs do some girl's wedding shoes as small as children's size 5 for about £16, and there's a sale on at the moment although its mostly sold out online. Rainbow club do some lovely white and ivory satin shoes for about £22 - quite expensive, but they could easily be worn again to parties and such. They are available in loads of online wedding shops so you can just search for them.

    The other alternative I can think of is satin ballet shoes. Obviously they don't support your feet loads but they are very comfortable, look lovely and quite cheap - less than a tenner from a decent dance retailer. The smallest children's shoe's I've seen are children's size 5, although demi-pointes (ordinary ballet shoes) often come up small so a size 5 ballet shoe could fit a size 4 child. It's best to get them fitted in a proper dance shop, as they vary from brand to brand. Baby Bloch do an amazing range of tiny ballet shoes from newborn to 18-24 months (about a children's size 4), including white pearlized leather for about £24, but these are pricier because they are made from Italian leather.

    Sorry for waffling on a bit, and I hope this helps! image
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