Emotional date choice...

Hi everyone

Well, my head has been well and truly bursting recently with venue-hunting! However, I have provisionally booked a place (without even seeing it!) as there is only 1 date available in 2013 which I could manage.

I thought all was well until I phoned my gran...

It turns out this date is the anniversary of my grandad's death. I knew it was around that time, but am now not sure how I feel about having it on that day. My gran is actually all for it, saying it would be nice to have a happy memory on that date. She would be 'devastated' if I chose not to have it because of the anniversary.

I was very close to my grandad and will be very emotional on the day with him not being there anyway. I just worry it will be too much.

On the other hand, is it a 'sign' that it's the only date? Has anybody else had a similar situation?


  • moongate10moongate10 Posts: 218
    Go for it hon, as long as your gran is happy i think it would be a lovely thing to do, like your gran says, would bring a happier memory of the day and im sure you will all think about your grandad if you have this date too, good luck honey x
  • Personally I would go for it, if your gran is all for it too, then I think that's a good sign!

    I think we will all be sad for those that can not make our weddings, no matter what days they are on!

    That could be your way, of involving him.

    What do you think, he would say to do?? He would prop agree with your gran image
  • shoe_gal_84shoe_gal_84 Posts: 769
    My friend's now husband lost his Mum about 5 years ago. He chose to propose to my friend on the date of the 2nd anniversary of his Mum's death. It may seem a bit weird, but he said that he also wanted to be able to remember the date in a positive light. He also wanted his Mum to somehow be involved in the proposal, and that way, she was.
  • MrsC2B4MrsC2B4 Posts: 143
    Go for it! I was also very close to my Grandad, who passed away 7 years ago this month. The date of his death and funeral will always be with me, he died on April Fools day (my nan's birthday) and his funeral was on my birthday. A friend of mine was due to give birth at the end of March and I was hoping that she would be a week late so that I had something to celebrate on my birthday rather than remembering the sadness. If your Gran thinks its a good idea it will make the day better for her as well as making it special for you to know that he will always be with you on that day.

    I'm including my Grandad in my planning as we are planning to get married on his birthday so he will be with us on the day and will make the day a happier time for all my family (plus they then can't forget my anniversary) image

    Hope that helps.

  • ezz100ezz100 Posts: 1,029 New bride
    One of the only dates I could have was my mum's birthday (she died ages ago) - I loved that idea as did my siblings. Well my venue got cancelled and I thought the date was not going to happen and I was devastated. The only venue I could find on that date turned out to be somewhere I visited with my mum..I even have a photo of my mum standing by the entrance of my venue. So I like to think things happen for a reason and it creates a lovely connection to your granddad. Go with the date and allow it to make your day even more special.
  • PeasnCarrotsPeasnCarrots Posts: 1,831
    Our date is on the same day my nan passed away. She was one of the head of the family types that everyone respected and we were devestated and lost when she left us. I thought it would be a nice way of thinking of her and turning a sad day into a happy one. My mum got upset when I told her we were having it on 1st June but I explained the reasons to her. If your gran is happy with you booking that date (which it sounds like she is) and if you feel comfortable doing it on that date then yes go for it.
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