i dont even no where to start?

i really have no clue on how to plan a wedding and am starting to get myself in a mess over the silly little things. i no i have to do the big things and sort out the church (see the vicar in 4 weeks) and then find a venue for the reception, but after that i am in a mess. ive been told i should start looking for a photographer a year before the big day, i have less then a year to go now. i dont really no what else i need to do or need. i have been looking on ebay at wedding stuff as we are on a very tight budget and need to do as much as we can by ourselfs, we will be making the invites and other stationary but again i dont no what is needed. looking on ebay i saw some lovely pew ends and we are going to make them ourselfs as couldnt afford the ones i like but that just started more stress for me, as i didnt no i needed stuff for the church and now im worried about what else i need and also who, how and when the church gets done. there are a million other things i dont understand. and all this is just the start, thinking about the reception planning makes me feel sick

please could i have some help with all of this as ive only been researching for a couple of weeks and am ready to throw it all in a just have a register office and nothing else, so its nice and easy.

also i have a stutter so find it very hard to phone places as people seem to get angry with me when they cant understand me on the phone.

i have no family to help me with all this, my mum is renewing her vows next year aswell and when ever i mention my wedding she just starts chatting about hers.


  • gemskatgemskat Posts: 692
    Ok, take a deep breath. First thing to do is make a list of all the things you need to do. So number 1, talk to OH regarding date, when would you like the wedding, what type of wedding you both want. If you're seeing the vicar in a few weeks, then you obvisouly have a church in mind. Start looking at venues you both like the look of, most places show their prices online so you can eliminate those too expensive before you go and fall in love with them. Once you've got your church and venue, look at photographers. If you say on here where abouts you live, you will probably get a few responses where people can recommend their photographers. Your next step is your dress, his suit and any bridesmaids. Once thats sorted, look at cars and cakes. When it comes to invitations, we got examples from family and friends, who had all been invited to a wedding of some sort since we've been engaged. Looked at all the different types then looked online at a DIY stationary website. There are quite a few threads on here where people have posted their DIY invites, have a look and see which ones take your fancy. Ok, pew ends. If your church is beautiful, you don't need them. Don't think that they are something you need to have, you will be in the church for anything between 30 mins to 1 hour (if its a catholic wedding!) and not many people notice anyway. Although, when you speak to the vicar if there is a wedding in the church on the same day, you could always meet up with the other bride and perhaps share the cost of flowers and decorations. With the church and registering, it all depends which nomination church you get married in, C of E churchs are offical wedding ceremonies but I think that Catholic churchs are not, so you may need to register at the registery office, but ask your vicar and he will tell you all you need to do. Everything will come together, and if you're on a budget, don't think you need to get all the little things, and there's always ebay for good cheap deals!xx
  • ezz100ezz100 Posts: 1,029 New bride
    Don't worry I'm sure everyone on here will help you through it and it can be fun. There are also wedding planning lists in lots magazines.

    Yes church, then venue, then registar - that secures the date

    Then decide on budget and roughly what you want from the day. Check out the newlywed section for the wedding reports for ideas.

    Then decide on colour theme...some colours are easier than others

    You can email many suppliers...if you tell us what area you are in local brides on here can recommend people
  • warberrywarberry Posts: 431
    Here are the things I can think of off the top of my head (and you don't need all of these things!)...

    Main things:

    1. Ceremony location (sounds like you've already got this sorted if you're meeting your vicar soon)

    2. Reception venue

    3. Food - have a think about whether you want a venue which will cater for you (as most do) or whether you would rather, e.g. have a marquee somewhere and organise the catering separately. I've done the latter, and in all honesty I think it's the more awkward option since you're bringing together two different sets of people

    4. Photography (and videography, if you're thinking about it)

    5. Dress (and underwear - don't forget that you'll want to buy the underwear before you go for dress fittings, so that the seamstress can fit your dress around you

    6. Flowers - you'd like pew-ends as you've said; you'll also want to think about your bouquet if you're having one, any bridesmaid bouquets, and any flowers you might like to have on the reception tables as decoration

    7. Entertainment - most venues will have an in-house DJ and will discuss that with you when you come to book your reception. If not, you can hire a DJ, hire a band or just hire some speakers and organise your own play-list (which is what I'm doing for my reception).

    Smaller things:

    1. Rings - okay, this is important, but it's not urgent; you won't have to sort this out right now. image

    2. Groom's and groomsmen's clothes - usually the groom will want to have some say in this, so why not get him to organise it?

    3. Bridesmaid's dresses

    4. Cake - if you're on a budget, you could always make your own (which is what I'm doing - eek!) or buy a ready-iced one from somewhere like M&S and decorate it yourself with ribbons and flowers

    5. Stationery - invitations, order of service, and place names for the reception are the most important things.

    6. Table decorations - have a clear idea (or two!) in mind of what you'd like your table centres to look like before you start hunting for things, otherwise you'll get lost in the millions of choices!

    7. Transport - do you want to hire cars, or be driven by a friend with a nice car, or do something quirky like getting the bus?

    8. First night hotel/other place to stay - worth thinking about, since you might find cheaper rates earlier on

    9. Hair and make-up - are you going to do it yourself, go to a hairdresser, or hire someone to come and do your hair and make-up in your home?

    10. Honeymoon! image

    11. Favours - lots of people don't bother, but there are heaps of cost-effective, personal options if you want to do favours; have a look on some DIY wedding sites.

    12. Other decoration; if you're having a marquee, you'll probably want to sort out lighting and other decoration, whereas if you're having it in a more normal venue, the interior might not need much decoration.

    I don't think I've left out anything major.. there are a few smaller things, but I think I've mentioned the most important bits here!

    My advice would be to grab a bridal magazine with a good, clear month-by-month check-list (Cosmo Bride's check-list is pretty comprehensive, and it's printed in every issue), cross off anything you won't be having, and once you've figured out which things you will be having, set a budget for each item. Then just take it step by step - the big things first, then the little things. And don't forget to delegate! You shouldn't have to organise this on your own unless you want to; your fiance should also be on hand to help you out, and hopefully your bridesmaids, best man and parents too.

    Hope this has helped a bit, and not made it seem even more scary! You'll be absolutely fine, really. image
  • thank you for your replys, i feel a little bit better about doing all this now. h2b has promised to make all the phone calls i need doing and is also bringing home some wedding magazines for me.

    than you warberry for the list, i have printed it off and am using it as a starting point.

    we had choose a date, we were hoping for 7th april next year but have found out its easter weekend, so dont no if we can get married then, but will speak to the vicar about this and if we have to we will do the following saturday.
  • DoolzDoolz Posts: 33
    I would suggest starting a scrap book too. When you look at magazines and websites print out pics of ideas you like and jott things down. Otherwise it can get overwhelming and you can't remember anything. Plus its nice to keep, I love just looking through mine!
  • Also if you are working on a budget some reception venues/suppliers ect charge less for a weekday wedding.

    With invites its not always cheaper to diy it. I've been trying to keep costs down with my planning so made diy invites cost me around £30 for 50 invites. And after I had spent hours/days making them I found a pack of pre made invites for sale for something silly like £2 for 20, and they were quite pretty.

    TBH a year is plenty of time as long as you use the time wisely and look at the big things first.

    I started organising my wedding 2 months ago with no help and I only have about 2 things left to do so it can easily be done.
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