Wow so much to do!

Contacted the church, they require 6 months of attendance prior to the wedding. Is that normal? I went to church for years, but have moved counties so they don't take that into consideration.



I have just started to put together a budget, which is going well as I enjoy DIY projects, I just worry about the amount of time I am already dedicating to wedding things, I have 13 months and already feel like it's taking over my life!

Posts

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756
    Congratulations on your engagement!



    I dont know about church weddings, but I do know you have to attend before the wedding if you want to be married in one.



    As for the other things, 13 months is loads of time image Once you've got your venue and dress sorted out everything else will fall in to place!
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848
    Yeah, that sounds about right for church weddings, although normally it's a number of attendances over a 6 month period
  • Mrs BoundsMrs Bounds Posts: 1,311
    do you live in the parish? I do and so does my fiance, we both have all our lives. We've not been asked for regular attendance or anything but the vicar did suggest it might be nice for us to pop down to a service to hear the hymns! x
  • The church thing depends on whether you live in the parish or not. Everyone in England has the right to get married in their local parish church, you can find which on yours is from the church of england website. They cant force you to attend, you have the right. If you want to get married in another church then you have to be on the electoral role, and to to do that you have to attend for 6 months. Our church insists on very regular attendance (to show commitment, which personally I believe is right) and would expect you to miss only a few (illness, holidays etc) in the 6 months. I've heard of other churches (perhaps those that are less popular, or need the money!) that only ask for once a month. Guess it depends on the vicar of the church you want to get married in! You can also have a 'local connection' e.g. baptised there, or parents married there.
  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253
    Probably also depends if the church is catholic...they have much stricter policies than most c of e.



    Write yourself a list of everything which needs doing and paying and when you expect to do them. this means you've got everything laid out and you know if you're ahead or behind of schedule. also stops you worrying about things you don't need to next. im making a lot for our wedding and its the only way id cope. and its very satisfying when you find yourself ahead and on top



    what's your date?
  • amy-lou-22amy-lou-22 Posts: 1,259
    Wow thanks for all the help.

    As far as I can make out from the 10 attachments of information my church has emailed me, I do need to attend most Sundays of the 6 months as I am new to the area. I don't really think that's right, I am a church goer back at my home town, but my schedule really won't work around this now as my new job has me working most Sundays and my FH travels a lot for his job. I wish they would take into account my actual beliefs rather than my attendance record. I am going to be paying over £500 to the church for the service.



    As for advice about planning, you have made me feel a little less anxious, so thank you. I think I need to break it all down into a time frame and go at it one thing at a time. Just a shame the first thing I try (church) seems to have me a little disheartened.
  • amy-lou-22amy-lou-22 Posts: 1,259
    Oh and my wedding date is 27/07/2013
  • DrBridezillaDrBridezilla Posts: 1,018
    I'm a bit confused about whether you are getting married in a church where you currently live but I think you are.

    Would you be able to go to an evening service? Most churches have weekday service at least once a week, usually in the evenings.



    They do usually want regular(ish) attendance for a while but it doesn't have to be the regular Sunday service.



    My church does a very early, short service on a Sunday too - a bit painful but could work!



    Alternatively as you have some time maybe you could go less frequently but start now?



    I would have a chat with your vicar about it and just be honest - you can't help having work commitments.



    My vicar is fine with me not going to regularly but knows I live 40 minutes away and that my parents go most weeks so I suppose it's a bit different.
  • amy-lou-22amy-lou-22 Posts: 1,259
    Ah good. Why didn't I think about just speaking to the vicar? image

    I will get in touch and try to sort something out.

    Sorry I know it's a confusing situation but briefly...



    I used to live in Lancashire, then moved down to Hampshire to be with FH. This is where we will get married. He is not a local boy either (South African) so the church, having requested us to state whether ourselves/parents/grandparents have been regular members of the church, I had only 1 other choice. That was to start attending the Sunday service and 'make ourselves known'. So one last problem image my FH travels to and from Africa on a regular basis for business and may well be away for months at a time (he is currently away for 3 months) Can I attend alone?
  • Teeberry81Teeberry81 Posts: 70
    Definitely speak directly to your vicar. As previously mentioned everyone who lives in England has the right to be married in their local parish church (church of England). We spoke to our vicar and he is lovely! Try this website http://www.achurchnearyou.com/parishmap.php



    Hope it helps xx
  • glitter2707glitter2707 Posts: 350
    I think lots of C of E churches are trying to be a bit more 'modern' in their thinking and not force people into attending etc to encourage more church weddings.



    We have met with the vicar on several occasions and he has mentioned services which we might like to attend but has said nothing about requiring attendance. I'm sure your vicar will be very understanding about your situation and difficulties in regular attendance.



    Edited to say - another date twin - Yay!! image
  • DrBridezillaDrBridezilla Posts: 1,018
    Sorry I haven't checked back on here! Yes, of course you can attend alone although the vicar would probably like for you both to attend a few times together at least.



    It really varies from church to church so it's definately best to just have an open and honest chat with the vicar.



    Hope it all works out xxx
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