whats the etiquette???

Hi there, me and my now fiancé since saturday lol are starting to look around for venues for our reception for our wedding. 


i have seen a few i really like on the internet and were going to book to go and have a look around, only problem is they are all a bit far away from the church (about 30 minutes drive away) is that asking a bit much of my relatives and friends? i was planning on maybe putting mini busses on to get people back home after if they didnt want to stay over in any locations. i just dont really like the look of any of the hotels in our town (warrington) other than one which is a bit expensive....


which brings me on to next question... whats the deal with haggling the price down on venues? we wanted to get married next year in the summer but now i REALLY want a winter wedding as my Andys dad didnt look too impressed that ... and i quote "we had ruined his holiday plans by wanting it then" and my brother has pointed out its festival season so lots of our friends may be busy. and iv been told that weddings are generally cheaper in the winter... however how do you go about lowering the price... are you allowed to try?


  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    I'd say a 30min drive between church and reception is fine, but probably any further than that is a bit much, you could look at doing a minibus from the church to the reception rather than at the end of the night, which would work out easier logistically, people will expect to make their own way home

    If you've got a budget, just tell the venue that's what you have and see what they can do, don't be scared of asking, they need the business and the worst they can say is no, and you spend your money elsewhere (their loss)

    You will never please everyone with a date, so don't even try by running dates past everyone. How on earth can a one day wedding ruin someone's holiday plans unless the holiday is already booked, he's being ridiculous & melodramatic and I wouldn't bother telling him any more of your plans because it sounds like you'll get nothing but grief

    If you set a date and tell people in rnough time, if they want to come they'll make the effort and will keep that weekend free, festival season or not (tho, if your friends are big festie fans, maybe avoid Glasto weekend, I know my lot would find that one a hard choice to make, plus if they book tickets for that they'll be non-refundable)

    & if you want to get married next summer and have particular venues in mind you'll probably have to work around their availability rather than having lots of options, popular venues get booked up way in advance for weddings

  • izziepizziep Posts: 40

    we were going to go in a big double decker (old fashioned style) with all the guests for the sit down meal who wanted to go that way instead of wedding cars as i think our daughters would LOVE that. (lets face it, when you have kids its more about them isnt it lol) 


    you seem to know my father in law to be already..., haha hes a nightmare at times he is such a sulkypuss. he wanted to go to france with his daughter and her partner so my fellas sister.... we didnt get an invite but when we said thats when we were planning it he sulked.. nightmare of a man. so now i want a winter wedding on a saturday just to shut him up (and i fear ill sweat too much in a frock in summer lol). the  summer date for next year was a thursday which again would have caused some sulking....


    so we cam just say "not paying that much no do it cheaper" to them. i think i may cry and tantrum and leave all this to my dad to sort hes good with haggling lol xxx

  • izziepizziep Posts: 40
    wenchy wrote (see)
    Go for with all guns blazing!! Lol. We're getting married 31st October 2013 and we were lucky that it fell on a Thursday as weekday weddings are so much cheaper! We were totally up front with the planner in the venue and told her we had a budget to stick to and the deal we got was INCREDIBLE! No room hire for day or evening receptions, discounted rooms for our guests, complimentary overnight stay for us, no corkage being charged for our drinks reception and the prices of the vintage tea and the evening buffet were dropped for us too! It's a really spectacular venue too before you end up thinking is it a back street dive that needs the business lol. We found that the large chain companies didn't flex quite as much on price but even so they did still negotiate, we hit lucky so it CAN be done image xx

    OH MY WORD.... get your botty to warrington in the next few weeks and come with me to get my venue PLEASE lol .... are friday weddings cheap too? im thinking if we did do it in winter (or 2014 summer) on a friday instead of a thursday people may be a tad less annoying about it... one of my friends even went as far as saying "well its not really a proper wedding if tis not a saturday is it" huh?

  • Hi, our venue is about 15 min from the church where we are getting married but the church is about 15 min from where most of my family live, I'm not putting on any transport for them, in also recently went to a friends wedding where her venue was 30 min away from church and no transport was provided, I don't think people expect it. I would go with the venue you love, we fell in love with a venue but felt like we had to choose a different one in our home town which was easier for family to get to, but we were only doing it to please them not us, at the end of the day it's your wedding and I didn't want to look back and regret my venue which I had chosen just to please other people.

    The venue we are having is really expensive on a weekend so we have decided to have a weekday wedding a there is no room hire or minimum numbers so saves us a fortune and it works out perfect as we can get married on the date we met. Some venues do packages for weddings out of season so have a look out for them or consider a weekday wedding to save costs. We looked at two venues as I said and even though we choo a weekday they were refusing to budge on the price as it was already a much better deal anyway but it can't hurt to try you might be surprised what some offer you x
  • You friend said what?! Just let her know this:

    Monday for wealth

    Tuesday for health

    Wednesday the best day of all

    Thursday for losses Friday for crosses

    Saturday for no luck at all

  • izziepizziep Posts: 40

    it would help matters if i knew my budget i think. my parents want to pay for it (only coz i cant/wont SPOILT BRAT) it just seems a tad confusing really all this. were going for a meal with our families on saturday to celebrate finally getting engaged so we can discus dates then then we can go bully some venues lol. its strange its his dad sulking on dates where as my partners boss was absolutely fine with closing the buisness for 2 days next year (if we went or do go with the thursday wedding next year) becuase all the staff would be going (the 3 of them lol) he was absolutely fine with it...


    melodymaker.... my friend who said that had a rather dull wedding, we replied like everyone else to the invite.... yet for the ceremony we were left standing at the back of the hall as the venue didnt put enough chairs out:S

  • izziepizziep Posts: 40

    awww thats really nice of them your friends are nicer than mine haha. if its cheaper on a weekday ill do it then im not really up for paying £70 odd a head:O

  • MrsMcG2beMrsMcG2be Posts: 402

    We are also near the start of planning and have looked at a few venues, we have found one we really like, well two actually so I emailed the first venue saying we had two we liked and it was coming down to the package and asked if there was any flexibility.

    I am now getting £800 off so think we will go for it. I felt really cheeky doing it but I figured they could only say no and I worded my email in a way that i thought was polite and reasonable, didn't want to come across like a pushy bride to be incase we booked and they hated me lol

  • MrsMcG2beMrsMcG2be Posts: 402

    haha yeah I been to both and loved them but the one the h2b fell in love with was the more expensive option - hence my email, I likely could get a discount at the other venue but we preferred the first venue a wee bit more so we are going to just go for it.

    It has most definitely made me more confident about haggling with everything else I book though.

  • The thing with haggling is... the worse they can do is say no.  It is always worth asking!  I've found with a lot of supplier that the best thing to do is say to them that you budget is slightly below what your actual budget is - then they may try to compromise at a price that is actually more around your price range.

    This work forr our florsist.  We were originally quoted nearly £600 - I said I was looking at more like £400 (when actually I'd budgeted £500) - ended up getting it for £474!

    Unfortunately, it didn't work with the venue!  Still paying full price per person, but due to it being midweek, they have agreed to let us pay for 90 adults, 10 kids - rather than 1000 adults which is their usual mininum.

    And no, I don't think 30 mins is too far, especially if you are helping to provide transport.

  • thanks ladies your all so lovelyimage bridezillas must be a fictional thing your all brideniceys (im too tired to think of a funny name baby was up dancing all night now shes learned to cruise... yay image)


  • Reading this has put my mind at rest a little, got engaged a week and a half ago and want to get married this time next year! Have had a little look at venues and was really worried that we just wouldnt be able to afford it, but think I will feel a bit better about haggling now I know how it should be done image I'm also thinking about having the wedding on a Thursday, and really don't see anything wrong with that! I'll be giving people almost a years notice so if they decide they really can't make it then thats down to them, but I know all my closest loved ones will make the effort!

    Now to actually find a venue and start really planning... eek :/

  • good luck kimimage were going to haggle at our venue tomorrow yay

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