How did it get so complex so quickly?!
I have been browsing these forums since getting engaged at the end of May 2012.
In short my issues are
- managing expectations - how to manage parental contributions to the budget,
- getting the venue right - other half wants an informal party, and would prefer to be abroad and have a 3 day type celebration. I want one day, in the UK, with the traditional elements, but a relaxed atmosphere. My other half is the pickiest person alive and keeps changing his mind and having conflicting options and I don't know how to deal with it?!
Having been with my fiance for 6 years I was over the moon and delighted we were engaged. My mum was understandably also delighted, and having lost her husband, my dad, 7 years ago, it's given her something positive to look forward to.
My fiance and I had always pictured a wedding abroad - thinking that the sunny climate and informal atmosphere would be the best day for us given I will not have the natural choice to walk me down the aisle, and he is not one for formalities.
With a number of key family members not keen on flying long distances we very quickly ruled this out and started looking at venues nearer home - in the UK but also planning a visit to Spain.
Spain to me seemed a good idea, as my fiance knows it well - his family having spent a lot of time there over the last few years. After actually visiting venues out there though I felt that the wedding wouldn't be very "me" - Spain means nothing to me - and I felt like I'd be getting married on somebody else's turf. Hard to explain but I knew a lot of my family wouldn't go (some for money reasons, others due to age) and I just felt I wouldn't have a day where I got the "princess for the day" type experience - despite knowing the informal atmosphere would be preferable. I also don't want a 3 day wedding celebration! Just a day will be enough...
Looking at UK venues we saw a few across the summer months, actually pre our Spain visit, and I fell in love with Cain Manor, which we saw about a month ago, part of the Bijou chain. My fiance is terrible with decisions and sort of led me to believe he liked it - before when push came to shove declaring millions of dislikes, and going on primarily about not liking the bar arrangements/alcohol cost etc - which makes me think he just believes a wedding = same as a stag do!
After this debacle we decided to reserve a date at Bury Court Barn. We have our 2nd visit on Saturday and I am just hoping my fiance doesn't come up with a whole list of reasons why he doesn't like it when we go.
I am worried not just about this but about budgeting. I think we have had a bit of confusion amongst family members regarding budget with my fiances parents thinking the contribution they might make would cover items like my dress - which of course it wouldn't and I didn't ask for. My fiance sadly won't have a straight conversation about what they will offer us - so we are in complete limbo and at risk of settling on a venue and then paying 2/3 of the costs when we sort of expected to only pay 1/3.
Everything seems complex, it's already driving me crackers, and I need some help! Any thoughts so very welcome!!