Bridesmaid dilemma

Hi all

ok so I've been with my fiancé for 11 years and I get on really well with his family he only has a sister but she has a 7 year old who will be one of the flower girls along with my nieces from my side of the family. I don't know if I should ask his sister to be my bridesmaid as I'm having my sister as my maid of honour and one of my cousins plus 5 girls from age 13 to 7 as flower girls but I do feel like if I don't ask her its like his side of the family are not really involved much in the day plus I don't want it to cause problems before we are married if I don't ask her. His mum has also been telling her she shouldn't be bridesmaid as she will be the oldest bridesmaid ever she is only 33 but I just don't know what to do for the best.


  • Ashleigh10Ashleigh10 Posts: 77


    The decision should be yours and your wedding is the one day you can be selfish and if you don't want her as your bridesmaid then don't have her and don't worry what anyone else thinks.

    However if you are pretty close to her and you want her to be involved in the wedding then go for it, you can never be too old to be a bridesmaid! As long as you're happy for her to be your bridesmaid and you get a long well that is all that should matter.

    Either way it is YOUR choice.

    Best of luck xx

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 271 New bride

    3 is a good number for bridesmaids. Why not just ask her?


    By the way 33 is not too old to be a bridesmaid the average age of bride is 30 now so bms in their 30s is not unusual.

  • Kitten2014Kitten2014 Posts: 1,489

    I'm a BM for my sister's wedding in August...I'm almost 40. Age has little to do with the equation of choosing BMs: it's supposed to be people the bride feels close to, and hopes to have emotional -if not some tangible- support from. If a bride is 50, chances are her closest friends and cousins and such will likely be in their 40's and 50's.  Sometimes, younger girls (i.e. tween and teenagers) if chosen to be in the wedding party, will be referred to as "junior bridesmaids," but there certainly is no cut-off for being "too old."

    I've posted this before, but it bears repeating. When choosing a BM, the same criteria apply, regardless of who the person is:

    -Would you feel comfortable sharing some very emotional/ personal moments with this person - such as getting ready the morning-of, dress shopping, fittings, etc.? Would she feel comfortable with the same, or would it be awkward for either of you? Would either of you feel as though you "can't be yourself?"

    -Would adding this person as BM be financially uncomfortable for either of you? 

    -Would asking this person to attend wedding dress shopping, fittings, BM dress shopping and fittings, and your hen be geographically practical for her? Would it be easy or a nightmare for your to coordinate her presence?

    -What are the current circumstances like in your life...and in hers? Do you have the time to incorporate one more BM? Is she a student, is she living abroad, is she getting married herself, planning on a baby, raising a little one(s), or other circumstances that would make being a BM a burden to her and not a pleasure?

    Think these things through and then decide. "Obligation" is not one of the determining factors in selecting your BM's so do what you feel is most appropriate.


  • thank you every one you have all been vey helpful 3 bridesmaids it is

Sign In or Register to comment.