Tips On How To Reign Myself In?

Hi all,

I love reading and commenting on Y&YW and I really need some advice now. I've finally found The One and we know we're going to get married in the next year or so.

Problem is, I'm getting so excited at the thought of it, I'm starting to worry I might turn into a nagging 'when-are-you-going-to-propose' girlfriend!

A couple of mutual friends have made jokes about proposing and telling him to hurry up (all said in good fun, he laughed along) so I know it's coming but how can I reign myself in?

I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas! :)

Posts

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    Your other half will propose when the time is right. I knew h2b was the one very early into our rlationship. My lovely h2b spent weeks researching the best places to get engaged and it was amazing when he did propose. Let your lovely boyfriend decide when the time right, he could have an amazing plan which can not be rushed. 

  • Jenni8Jenni8 Posts: 3,201

    Haha I was the same after about the 3-4 years mark. I then realised that it would not happen all the while I was expecting it and I just got on with loving life as it was. I can't really think of any specific tips on how to do that, just keep yourself occupied with something else I guess. I had a big career change so I suppose this is what occupied my head for a long time. He ended up proposing at 5 years and 2 months.

  • MrsM3MrsM3 Posts: 138

    You might spoil it for both of you if you keep asking him.  Not sure why your OH is like, but mine would have hated me to keep bringing it up.  It'll happen when the time is right. Just relax, and enjoy your relationship for what it is now.  X

  • Thanks everyone for your suggestions :)

    Just to clarify, I haven't actually mentioned it since we first discussed it, only our friends have. I very aware that I don't want to badger him and I am enjoying our time together.

    It's just hard not being excited and day-dreaming about wedding plans/engagement stuff ;)

  • MrsM3MrsM3 Posts: 138

    I can imagine!! It makes time go slowly doesn't it ha-ha! Be sure to tell us when it happens!! X

  • Will do Mrs M!

    Lol, that's why I spend so much time on here! I just trawl dresses, venues and everything else so I'm ready to hit the ground running and can satisfy my wedding cravings :D

    At least it keeps me off the baby brooding!

  • lubeslubes Posts: 1,555

    Hi Charlotte,

    I think a lot of us can relate to this! It took my OH over seven bloody years to finally ask me!

    Getting married was always on the cards and we chatted about it often, but the timing in our lives had to be right. I know it is so exciting to think about, but you do just have to trust your OH with this. If you pester, it doesn't become special and will feel forced. When he does ask you, you'll be so pleased you waited and gave him the chance to do it the way he wanted.

    Another thing to consider as well is that a lot of pressure comes with planning a wedding that you don't anticipate before getting engaged. It is rather very stressful at times! All the ideas you have tend to go out of the window when you have a real budget to play with, people to please and the daunting prospect of having to make decisions that affect one of the biggest days of your life! Of course it is wonderful to plan a wedding, just don't be fooled into thinking it's sunshine and rainbows the whole time!

    My OH and I have loved planning our wedding but it has certainly been testing on occasions. I feel if I pressured him into a proposal he may feel resentful of the day and that I just wanted to 'plan a wedding' rather than actually marry him! It is so important to let him have control over the proposal so he doesn't feel left out when you go into 'bride' mode! When the time comes, make sure you discuss all your ideas with him - it is easy to think boys don't care about these things!

    For now, I would enjoy the lovely relationship you clearly have and just have fun without the pressure of a wedding. Life will change quite significantly once he puts a ring on it! x

  • Me and H2B have only been together for 2 years but like FutureMrsThomas I knew he was the one from very early on. I joked around with him occasionally but it was his Mum & Dad that kept asking him if he'd proposed almost every time we went to visit!

    I suspected he was going to do it for ages but when nothing happened I decided to put it out of my mind, I then started having a meltdown about the future (unbeknown to him) so the proposal came at exactly the right time for both of us. It will happen so trust in that!

    My tip on reigning it in would be scrapbooking! We're not getting married until August 2018 so I have at least 6-8 months (not including the last 2 months since getting engaged) before I can get into full planning mode and creating my scrapbook has really helped satisfy my wedding craving & made sure I wasn't annoying H2B by constantly going on about it!

    Hope this helps xx

     

  • Ohhh thanks Mrs-Farquhar-To-Be! Scrapbooking is a good idea! I can start a secret Pinterest board :)

    Agree with you on the sunshine and rainbows Lubes! The upside of being in my mid-30s is that most of my friends are already married so I can learn from them :D 

  • SammykateSammykate Posts: 3,534 New bride

    I knew from the second date that I would marry my H2B (I sound like I'm kidding but I'm not. I just knew) but it took him 7 years to propose! I think you have to remember that in general men are wired differently from the way we are- we love them, know we will eventually marry them, so we want it now. Men usually take a little longer to reach those conclusions, and they insist on being practical- my H2B always told me there was no point getting engaged when we couldn't afford a wedding! And he was totally right, and he was right to wait 7 years as we were students with no money. The only thing worse than not being engaged is being engaged and not being allowed to plan a wedding!!

    I guess what I'm trying to say is it'll happen when the time is right- but of course it's OK to daydream in the meantime! General ideas of what you like are fine, but try not to get into specifics- or what will you have left to do when you're actually engaged? Lol. Also Lubes is 100% right that wedding planning is a very different ball game when you're actually having to pay for all that dream stuff from Pintrest lol.

    Don't worry- it will be your turn sooner or later :)

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    As newly engaged bride to be I can whole heartedly agree about the reality of planning a wedding. It is overwhelming at times, and what you think you want soon changes. My Pinterest wedding file was influenced by rose gold and pink before I started planning! Guess what I am not having now I've actually sat down with h2b! 🙊

    Have fun looking at different ideas but don't get your heart set on something! (Hmmm....dream wedding venues and budgets come to mind). 

  • Thanks FutureMrsThomas and Sammykate for the advice.

    I know my plans now may change completely before the day, though futureh2b and I have pretty similar tastes.

    I think the hardest thing for us will finding a venue. We'll be on a budget(ish), don't want a church do, but have A LOT of friends and family. We'd like a barn or a village hall I think but Lincolnshire is a bit thin on the ground for those that have the space and still look good (at least, for ones that don't cost nearly five figures...)

  • MrsLMTMrsLMT Posts: 3,830

    We priced every venue within a 30 minute drive of my house. I didn't realise how many there were until then! My dream venue was far too expensive but in my research we found our perfect venue for a fraction of the cost.

  • It happened! Christmas morning he proposed! :D

    It was a complete surprise as I had managed to reign myself in and was happy to 'wait and see'. I thought he'd got me a dress for Xmas!

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Congratulations! Pic of the ring? 

  • NikkiMNikkiM Posts: 1,649 New bride

    Congratulations!

    Let the wedding planning commence! 

  • Amazing!!! Congratulations and happy planning!

  • Thanks all! As requested, the ring....

    image

     

     

  • Congratulations! How did it happen?

    Now you can really start planning :)

  • Tanya128Tanya128 Posts: 1,993

    Very pretty, love a bit of bling! Have you set a date yet?

  • TC2017TC2017 Posts: 69

    Congratulations, the ring is gorgeous. Happy wedding planning, you've got an exciting year ahead. 

  • Thanks all! :)

    No date set yet as we want to move house first, but very excited to start gathering ideas!

  • Ah, congratulations Charlotte!

    I love your ring, did he choose it himself? 

    Enjoy the engagement before proper planning starts

    Charlotte

    x

  • image

  • Yeah....no offence Ellie63 but I'm in Lincolnshire and am not going to travel all the way down to Bath for floofy dresses... ;)

    Fiance picked out the ring himself (with a bit of help from my mum) and correctly guessed my ring size! He asked me in front of all his family, it was so sweet! The ring was a Xmas gift - one of those box-within-a-box ones. Loved it! :)

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