Hi. So I have some mind mess of what to do bridesmaid wise.

I don't feel I have any obvious close friends... I know that may seem odd but that's that.

I was maid of honour at one friends wedding last year and everyone is assuming I will have her in my wedding, but a lot has happened since there, before her wedding there was friction due to her skating everything I planned for her hen do etc. She has also at work said some things about me which caused a lot of trouble and upset, as well as anxiety for me, of which I don't actually think she knows I have been told.... (although she has been very over the top since, trying to please)

Am ibwrong for crossing her off completely?


People keep asking me what I'm going to do bridesmaid wise and I'm just saying I don't know.


My hearts saying not her, but have my childhood best friend although we don't see each other much when we do its like it was yesterday. 

My mil is hinting at having my partners sister which I wouldn't mind really as we are close, I'm having my daughter and 2 nieces as flower girls and thinking having my god daughter/cousin also, It's so hard.


Any advice how not to offend everyone 


  • Kelly224Kelly224 Posts: 962 New bride

    Don’t feel pressured into having your friend involved just because she asked you. I was bridesmaid for one of my school friends a few years ago but I haven’t asked her to be bridesmaid - she had all 4 of our friendship group and I don’t have the budget for that many and I wasn’t going to ask one and not all. She didn’t bat an eyelid when I told her I was having my sister and one other friend from a different group. Just do what you want to do - it’s your wedding.

    Sounds like she wasnt a great friend to you when it was her wedding so personally I would have your childhood friend and maybe your FSIL if you want to but again don’t feel pressurised by your FMIL.

    if your other friend asks why you haven’t asked her just say you don’t have the budget to have a big bridal party and wanted your childhood friend as you’ve known her forever etc. And if you decide to have your FSIL just say you wanted someone from H2B family involved. 

    Good luck with it all. 

  • Thank you. I just needed an outside view on it.

    It's very awkward as i dont want people to be like what the hell... lol. 

    Thank you

  • gill17gill17 Posts: 568 New bride

    I didnt have any BMs and it wasn't an issue at all. I would suggest waiting until you're sure before u decide either way. there's loads of threads on here of brides who are regretting their decision. I emailed my sisters not long after we got engaged and explained that I wasnt having any at all, and it was fine. Stay strong! 

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