I have no idea where to start

How do you know where to start? Recently engaged although been together for 9 years with 2 kids. 

H2b would like to go abroad but im not keen as it'll be too stressful I think. 

We have started looking at venues but im not sure whether to stay really local, or go 35 minutes away or 2 hours.

I feel like we don't have enough guests (is that a common worry?) & a lot of them don't have loads of money so I don't want to put them out to travel or stay over night for my wedding and I worry they wouldn't come.

Another reason for not going abroad is that I dont think.people would come and I want a nice atmosphere for our day. 

So we are going to look at venues but no idea what date to set as they are all so confusing with the pricing. I wish they would just say it'll cost £x amount but im getting very confused looking at the brochures. 

Also my dad has very kindly offered to give us something towards the wedding but won't say how much and I don't want to outright ask as I don't want to seem grabby. 

I have already asked my 4 bridesmaids and h2b best man and we know which children will be in the wedding. 

Date wise I would love it to be August 2019 but worry we will regret it as we wont have much spare cash each month with saving. 

So the next date is may or june 2020, it just feels so long away! But I think this is what we will aim for. Means financially we will be less stressed. Also the kids will be older and hopefully easier on the day I would think  

Budget wise I'm thinking 15-20k for everything.

Apologies for the rambling post. This is my first post and just thought id get all my thoughts out to see if anyone has any comments. I have never been interested in getting married until the last couple of years and even then I didnt think about the actual day so really have no idea where to start or what to do .


  • Congratulations firstly! 

    Try not to get to overwhelmed with decision making early on! My first tip would be to do a wants and no-no each. From that list you will have an idea what you want. Don’t worry about the guest list - with enough notice people will travel abroad, you’ll have a smaller more intimate wedding abroad. That’s why I’d suggest leavig the internet until you’ve decided on what you want. 

    Dont get overwhelmed early on. I promise planning is a fun process 😊


  • Ruth124Ruth124 Posts: 1

    Hi Kirstie,


    Firstly congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding!

    So on to your first point about location; I think you're doing a great thing considering the guests and budgets. Of course if you went abroad, whilst this would be amazing, this would be costly with flights etc involved and there would be a lot of people who might not be able to come due to cost, work commitments (may require them to take time off) etc. I would start having a look at venues up to 1 hour away- remember you would need to take into account the travel times to the venue, your ceremony time and then getting ready time. If it meant you staying over the night before, you would then need to account this in to the budget. My advise would be to consider getting married in the UK, then you could use that additional money you would've spent on the wedding towards the honeymoon or anniversary trip away. Enquire about dates available (if you are not sure on certain dates say Fridays in June 2020 etc).

    Regarding pricing and venues; I agree it can be very confusing to understand when looking at it! Best thing to do here, is get in touch with different venues and ask for the total package price for so many day guests and so many evening guests. Also, what the price would be if certain items were removed that you don't necessarily 100% need but are nice touches e.g. drink with meal. Also, ask if all costs are involved such as ceremony hire as sometimes these are added extras.

    Regarding setting the date for the wedding; I would recommend to go for June 2020. You will be surprised at how quick this will roll around - I know it seems ages away, but you will be very grateful for the extra time.

    I would also recommend to ask for prices for 2019 and 2020- as most likely venues will have a price increase. Next, also ask for different times of the year- June-September can often be much more expensive but May may be more affordable so it's good to be aware of the different options. Also Saturdays are often more expensive so consider a Friday or even a bank holiday Sunday.

    I hope this helps but happy to help if you have any additional questions! please feel free to message me directly :)

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