What are your biggest questions about your wedding?

Hi

I'm currently doing research for a new book.

As part of this research, I'm interviewing lots of wedding suppliers - photographers, venues, wedding dress makers, etc.

If you are just starting out to plan your wedding, and you had the opportunity to speak to these wedding experts (i.e. people that have been involved in 100's of weddings), what questions would you ask them?

What would you like to know?

Some questions I'm asking them now:

- What advice would you give your best friend when you hear they are getting married?

- What is the most common mistakes you see brides make?

Posts

  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340

    - What would you like to know?

    How can suppliers justify the W tax?  

    Y do magazines, social media n wedding planners put so much pressure on people 2 spend money they don't have on things they don't need 2 try n achieve some mythical ideal of a wedding rather then just supporting them in achieving the wedding that is perfect for them?

    Why R the marriage license laws in England so draconian and restrictive?  There's no good reason y the notice 2 marry can't apply to any venue, and there's no good reason y people can't get married in more places...

     

    - What advice would you give your best friend when you hear they are getting married?

    Don't sweat the small stuff!

    Don't be engaged forever, and don't rush into any decisions - u don't need to pick ur color scheme, bridesmaids n dresses 2 years before the day, and if u do chances r things are gonna change anyway.

    Don't count on losing that weight.  Remember its your fiance's day too, and don't expect other people to put ur wedding first (just be thankful if they show any intrest and are gonna turn up on the day) 

    Its not worth getting into massive debt for just one day - save the money for the rest of ur life together

     

    - What is the most common mistakes you see brides make?

    Rushing into decisions then changing their mind and losing money

    Buying dresses a size to small and then stressing because they didn't lose that weight after all.

    Expecting to much of other people (BMs etc)

    Letting other people have to much say in their day

    Getting too bogged down in little details that noone's gonna notice anyway

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 935 New bride

    Why do people follow trends for years and years, even when that trend has been more than "done"? 

    For the life of me, I don't understand why brides can't think for themselves and instead follow the model their weddings after ones they see on Pinterest that are ten years old. Why don't more brides "think outside the box" and come up with new floral ideas, new decor ideas, etc.?  Why don't they see that their wedding is the upteenth one that year with jam jars of wildflowers, hessian-tied cutlery, and floral-fabric bunting and that the overall effect is completely lost on guests that have seen it already a dozen times? 

  • I think the above is a little harsh to be honest, we're doing the "wildflowers in jam jars" thing and I think it's a little mean spirited to say it won't be appreciated by guests just because it's not a completely original idea. The reason people follow ideas they see on pinterest rather than coming up with their own ideas are (for me anyway):

    I like the wildflower look, I don't care if it's been done before, we like them!

    Budget- these ideas are often popular because they are budget and DIY friendly

    We're busy people! We both work full time at challenging jobs and also have other interests outside of wedding planning. Taking ideas from somewhere like pinterest is the quick and easy option.

  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 252 New bride

    I agree it's a bit harsh. No wedding has to be 100% original to be lovely, if being entirely original is even possible, like I don't make all my own clothes but don't think that I'm unoriginal or following done trends. Flowers in jam jars can look nice, and no less nice at one wedding because they were seen at another. I don't use Pinterest but I believe there are hundreds of thousands of images out there, so a bride is choosing what they like rather than typing 'wedding' in and just copying a random image. 

  • Elz2017Elz2017 Posts: 316
    Barbie3 wrote (see post):

    - What would you like to know?

    How can suppliers justify the W tax?  

    Y do magazines, social media n wedding planners put so much pressure on people 2 spend money they don't have on things they don't need 2 try n achieve some mythical ideal of a wedding rather then just supporting them in achieving the wedding that is perfect for them?

    Why R the marriage license laws in England so draconian and restrictive?  There's no good reason y the notice 2 marry can't apply to any venue, and there's no good reason y people can't get married in more places...

    Here here!! I totally agree with the above - they are the big, important questions (although the second point is probably down to supply and demand - brides demand, they supply...). I especially agree with the third point - Scotland are way ahead on this (and this is why we chose to get hitched up there rather than in England, where we live).

  • Julia82Julia82 Posts: 123

    It is a bit harsh especially to a forum full of people who have inevitably gone down that route! 

    I kind of get the point though - although I think jam jars of wild flowers are beautiful! I have banned ‘rustic’ and ‘hessian’ and my mother has banned ‘jam jars’ despite my house being full of all that stuff! But I do agree it feels a bit like the only option and if you don’t have it you are ‘alternative’. 

    it Is quite hard to have an original idea these days. I am vaguely creative and i usually like slightly different things. But I am struggling really to come up with anything wild and lovely and not stupid! I’d certainly be up a creek without a paddle without Pinterest! Also we can’t all be interesting and arty.

    also I can’t face correcting these mad random capitals - sorry. 

    Xx

     

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,074 New bride
    KittyFiennes wrote (see post):

    Why do people follow trends for years and years, even when that trend has been more than "done"? 

    For the life of me, I don't understand why brides can't think for themselves and instead follow the model their weddings after ones they see on Pinterest that are ten years old. Why don't more brides "think outside the box" and come up with new floral ideas, new decor ideas, etc.?  Why don't they see that their wedding is the upteenth one that year with jam jars of wildflowers, hessian-tied cutlery, and floral-fabric bunting and that the overall effect is completely lost on guests that have seen it already a dozen times? 

    To be fair, my talents definitely do not lie in any kind of creativity, so it’ll be jam jars and flower centerpieces for me (plus they’re cheap!). If it ain’t broke...  

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,074 New bride

    Sorry, what I’d like to know: 

    1- why is a bigger emphasis not placed on client care and communication? so many suppliers are so bad at responding.  

    2- why are suppliers so restrictive/ unyielding?

     

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340

    Why is it so hard 2 find dresses with sleeves?

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 935 New bride

    I apologize if it sounded harsh.  I just honestly don't understand why more brides don't go a different route - my thought was maybe it's Pinterest and/or other social media to blame in that we're all bombarded with pretty much the same images.  If you search "wedding decor" on Pinterest, you seriously get loads of images of similar looking "rustic" weddings with jam jars, bunting, greenery, log slices, hessian, baby's breath, etc.  And it's been that way for about 10 years.  Where are the images of say, long glass tubular vases with red calla lilies sprouting from the top?  Or metallic interwoven hoops of different sizes hanging from the ceilings?  Something different...anything different.  My question is how do these trends start, why do they keep going, and why doesn't much new seem to pop up online and in magazines?  I think it's a good question with an answer that's part sociology, part marketing.

  • AwhelenqtAwhelenqt Posts: 785 New bride

    Why do you always have to get your dress in the next size up??? Like great way to make brides feel self conscious. Make them bigger so you either get your actual size or a size down.

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