Feeling crap

Okay so I'm feeling pretty low!

 

Last July we put a deposit down on a wedding venue, and last couple of weeks have booked our photographer. Everything seemed to be going well and we were slowly ticking off the list.d

We were invited to our booked venue for a friend's wedding back in March and we just didn't like the feel of the place. So we ended up cancelling the venue and been looking else where.

The wedding isn't until 2020 but now that we have looked at another venue we have had a quote for what I think was very reasonable in order to cater for our 190 quests. (big families on both sides ) everytime I mention to my partner about going ahead and booking a venue he's constantly saying yeah I know we need to look into it. And nothing is being done. And I feel its always me bringing it up. What should I do? He works away in the week and I only see him on weekends so it's even harder to pin him down to sort things out and when I do mention things he doesn't try to help me =(

What should I do? I know it seems like ages away but am I silly in feeling like I don't have a wedding to look forward to right now? =( =(

Posts

  • Julia82Julia82 Posts: 123

    Did you like the new venue you looked at? The one with the reasonable quote? Doesn't sound like a glowing review if I'm honest. 

    If not I would just book in times and places to go see new venues which will surely start the discussion. You already had one booked so it doesn't sound like he is dragging his heels too much, I would just take the initiative and I am sure you will find he will join in! 

    Good luck xx

  • Yes the new place we had looked at is somewhere we've been countless times. We've both been to a lot of weddings at this venue together or apart and we've both said we've never had any bad things to say about it. 

    I'm just wanting to get the ball rolling and make sure we get the lovely day we deserve. 

    Thank you for your reply xx

  • cloudatlascloudatlas Posts: 78

    I think first of all you should have a think about what the problem is. It might be a combination of things, but try to figure out exactly why this is making you feel like crap. Is it:

    a) you feel like your partner isn't prioritising the same things as you and you're feeling ignored/feeling like he expects you to do all the work

    b) you're stressed by the uncertainty of not having a venue sorted

    c) you're excited about wedding planning and feel like you can't get going with it because your partner is dragging his feet, which is making you feel low

    d) something else!

    If it's a), I would talk to him about it honestly. As you're not getting married until 2020 he may just feel like you have loads of time and there's no rush, and not realise how you're feeling - he may be feeling that as he's away in the week he wants to spend that quality time with you at weekends and not be doing loads of 'admin'. Explain how you're feeling and perhaps see if you can sit down with him and booking some 'wedding stuff' time in the diary for the next few weeks/months. Then you've got specific timeslots you can arrange to go view venues etc. if that's what you want. Also though it's worth talking about both your expectations in terms of wedding planning - he may just be assuming that you want to do it all, or feel like he doesn't know what he's doing so can't help (I think like the latter is suprisingly common!). Could you suggest some areas of the wedding he could take the lead on - for instance if he's into his music he could look at sorting entertainment? 

    If it's b) then doing what I've said at a) should help.

    If it's c) then you don't necessarily need your venue sorted to get started with other fun bits of planning! Things like cake and dresses etc. are areas you can crack on with looking at and you'll get that fun wedding planning excitement while being able to take your time about looking at venues.

    And I just put d) in as a wildcard - is this definitely the thing that's bothering you? Sometimes I find I can get all worked up about something and then realise actually that's not really the problem at all! You mention your partner is away a lot - perhaps if you're feeling a bit low about his lack of engagement with this, it's more of a symptom of finding it difficult that he's away so much? Just a thought.

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