How much £ should I give as a wedding present

Hi, 

 

We are invited to a wedding (the full day) in a couple of weeks and I am just wondering how much money we should give as a present?  I have heard alot of people saying cover the cost of the meal so aprox £100?  

I am also organising my wedding and realisation has hit on how much money it is per person for a meal!!  I personally would be very happy if everyone "covered the meal".  

Posts

  • How much would you spend if you were buying something? There’s no set guidelines it’s all relative to how close you are, what you can afford, what you’ve already had to spend to be there etc 

    ill be happy with people just coming to share our day - there’s no price tag on that for me 

    do what you feel comfortable with 

  • weatherwaxeweatherwaxe Posts: 848 New bride

    We usually do £100 for very close friends, £50 for everyone else. I think it's entirely up to you though and your financial situation. Don't give more than you can comfortably afford, especially if you're travelling for the wedding too.

  • britbirdbritbird Posts: 1,471 New bride

    This is always such a contentious one as different weddings have different budgets.  I answered this once on a forum and got such nasty comments for saying an amount that I thought was acceptable- I could afford it, and is what a lot of people I know would spend.  People slated me saying why on earth would I spend that much etc.  We have people from all walks of life at our wedding- some are multi millionaires, and others work in Sainsbury stacking shelves.  I wouldn't expect someone who is on a minimum wage job to spend anywhere near as much as someone who doesn't have to think about money- it is about what each individual can afford.  

  • GinAndBlingGinAndBling Posts: 1,252 New bride

    For full day we have previously given anywhere from £80-150 as a couple if cash, for evening we tend to give a bottle of champagne/ gift experience.

    Depends how well we know the couple and what we can afford. 

    Our planning thread: We're completely winging it.

    My weightloss thread: Diet denial! 
  • Lexi90Lexi90 Posts: 971

    I agree about it being proportional to what you can afford. Last year I went to 5 weddings, so no way could I afford £100 a wedding. It’s one of the reasons I hate giving cash, although I know lots of people prefer it to giving presents. 

    My parents friends have already given us £100 for our wedding next Saturday, which I think it’s really generous. I am certainly not expecting that from all our friends. 

    Equally someone may give more than £100 if they have more money to offer. 

     

  • Mrs2018Mrs2018 Posts: 398

    I think it all depends on your own financial circumstances and how much you can afford.

    If I were to follow the rule of covering the cost of the meal I'd be gifting my h2b best friend £50 but they would be gifting us £200. Financially we are pretty equal buy we went for different types of wedding mainly due to the time we each had to pay it off (he got married 4 months after proposing where as we set a date over a year ago)

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,446 New bride

    We give around £100 generally if invited all day.

  • KittyFiennesKittyFiennes Posts: 975 New bride

    My prev wedding cost over £20,000.  We had 103 people there not counting ourselves. That worked out to £200/head (kid-free wedding). After that experience, we try to take into account the whole cost to the bride and groom, not just that of the food.  Not that I know what the per-head cost is at every wedding I attend, but I certainly know it costs more to host me at a high end country club & feed me pheasant than at a local pub serving canapes only.  If the couple is going to go all-out in hosting us - high end venue, amazing food, gorgeous flowers, great entertainment - I'm going to go all-out on a card/gift.  

  • stacey147stacey147 Posts: 108

    I usually give £50 but I’m a minimum wage slave so that is quite a lot to me 

  • Nikki-93Nikki-93 Posts: 171

    We normally do £50 if we are all day guests and £30 fpr evening. We are at that age where lots of friends are getting married so we can’t go mad.

  • I actually disagree with those that have said cover the cost of the meal/wedding. They have chosen to invite you and chosen how much to spend so I don't think it is your responsibility to cover those costs. 

    Generally I would spend £50-£100 depending on how well we know them.

  • Barbie3Barbie3 Posts: 340 New bride

    I give what I can afford, n I don't expect our guests 2 do any different on our day.

    I don't think the amount a couple choose 2 spend on there wedding should have nething to do with what guests spend on gifts.

  • Michelle330Michelle330 Posts: 119

    No more than you can afford. I give £50 usually. Last wedding I went to the bride thanked me profusely and said it was far more generous than any other individual had been, and I know the meal was £75 a head, but I couldn’t afford to cover that, I’d already travelled and paid for two nights in a hotel, all in all to attend the wedding including travel, hotel and gift I spent £300, so I don’t think you should feel guilty for not covering the cost of the meal if you don’t have the cash. They invited you and want you there and the meals already paid for, so no need to stress. They probably want money now to put towards a honeymoon or something for their home so any amount you can comfortably afford is enough. If it’s not then the problem is theirs not yours. 

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,446 New bride
    FutureMrsTomlin wrote (see post):

    I actually disagree with those that have said cover the cost of the meal/wedding. They have chosen to invite you and chosen how much to spend so I don't think it is your responsibility to cover those costs. 

    Generally I would spend £50-£100 depending on how well we know them.

    I totally agree, this "covering the cost of the plate" thing is very American - we give pretty much the same to all couples whose weddings we attend regardless how grand the affair is - if they choose to get married in a stately home and spend fortunes that's fine, but it's not my job to subsidise it!

  • Ashley72Ashley72 Posts: 1,137 New bride

    Give what you can afford and depending on the closeness of the couple to us. We gave £50 to my fiance's friends when we got invited to the evening reception recently, close friends or relatives would be £100-200 probably depending on other factors at the time.

    I don't agree with "covering your plate". It's none of my business what someone chooses to spend on a wedding, if you're hoping to recoup some of your money back because you can't realllllly afford to feed me at whatever rate you're being charged then don't invite me or choose cheaper food!

    We are getting married abroad so are making it clear to people we would feel really uncomfortable receiving gifts when people are already spending time and money to celebrate with us. I'm sure some people will still give us something but it wouldn't occur to me to judge them for the amount, and certainly wouldn't compare it to what I've spent on them per head!

  • ducklingduckling Posts: 116 New bride
    FutureMrsTomlin wrote (see post):

    I actually disagree with those that have said cover the cost of the meal/wedding. They have chosen to invite you and chosen how much to spend so I don't think it is your responsibility to cover those costs. 

    Generally I would spend £50-£100 depending on how well we know them.

    This, absolutely. 

    I dont care how much the wedding cost to put on, I think it’s quite awful to give £50 to those friends who are having a village hall wedding and £150 to those having it a castle if you love them both equally... 

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