Disappointing Engagement Ring- not what you think!

Hi all, 
I just got engaged 4 days ago (11/6/18) and I couldn’t possibly be happier to be marrying my favourite person in the world! 
However, pretty much as soon as the initial rush died down and I got a really good look at the ring, I realised the large white opal has two cracks, and the silver is bent/ unfinished in such a way that one side of the stone is completely unprotected. On top of that the silver is discoloured in a few places. He worked with a jeweller to design the ring and had it custom made just for me. I’m really disappointed- firstly in the jeweller who gave him a poor quality ring, and also in him for not checking it thoroughly when he picked it up. I feel so guilty for putting any blame on him but I can’t help it. The design of the ring is perfect- personal, exactly my style and obviously really well thought out and considered, but the the craftsmanship is obviously very poor. I brought it up in (I hope) a kind, calm way and he was very genuinely apologetic and upset. Now I feel awful for upsetting him. 
The problem is we’re currently travelling and won’t be home for the jeweller (who via text is actually accepting no responsibility because he saw it before he paid and took it home) to fix it until Christmas. I don’t want to wear a broken ring but I don’t want to take it off for 6 months! What do you think I should do? Am I being unreasonable for putting any blame on him? Am I being a princess for caring so much about a ring??


  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,942 New bride
    I can't comment on the setting, but silver does always naturally tarnish and needs polishing back up often.
  • Samantha265Samantha265 Posts: 406 New bride
    If your fiance picked it up and paid for it as is then it's going to be very hard if not impossible to get the jeweler to fix it. Could you claim on your house insurance and get it fixed elsewhere? If you need to be without it for several months then just buy a cheap stand in
  • Cupcakes2019Cupcakes2019 Posts: 80 New bride
    It's understandable that you care so much about the ring. Opal is a softer gemstone so even if you "fix it", it is still prone to breaking in the future if you are not careful. I know a very good jeweler who might be able to help, DM me if you are interested. My husband bought my opal engagement ring from her. I think she's based in Lincolnshire but travels to London regularly. 
  • tonyx4tonyx4 Posts: 6 New bride
    edited 16 June
    It's such a difficult situation. Your partner has obviously put a lot of effort into finding you the perfect ring. He knows what you like and has worked with a jeweller to create something beautiful for you. Unfortunately the finished ring isn't what you imagined or more it's what what it should be due to imperfections.

    Whereby the ring can be adjusted or possibly replaced you partner cant be. Remember although he picked it up and didn't spot these mistakes it's all for you. Everything he did, the research, design, dealing with the jeweller and paying for it... That's for you because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. So, try not to roast him. He won't forget it and I'm sure he'd be thinking "all of this effort and she's blaming me". 

    Make him feel special because he just wants you to be happy. Maybe remove the ring so you're not looking at it everyday and once it's fixed relive that special moment together. Most of all, enjoy your time away together, be safe travelling and congratulations to you both. 

  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 120 New bride
    I had problems with my engagement ring too (even though I loved it, just like you!) and we ended up getting a refund for it and having another one designed and created for me. It took a couple of months and it was so frustrating not having it to wear but I took a little ring my fiance gave me early in our relationship 10 years ago and swapped it onto my left hand as a stand in. Do you have another ring you could do this with? Or if you're travelling you could buy a little cheap one together that will always remind you of wherever you were when he proposed? Plus if you're away from home you probably won't have to deal with everyone wanting to see the ring before you have the real one, and having to repeat the story over and over again like I did!
    For me it actually made that little 10-year-old ring feel more special, and then when the actual engagement ring arrived it was such a lovely moment when he presented to me and I saw it for the first time, kind of like being proposed to all over again!
  • AwhelenqtAwhelenqt Posts: 856 New bride
    Same as above - the ring he proposed to me with was perfect (admittedly it took about a week for me to love it but after that I really really did) but it was a pearl and neither of us realised that pearls (much like opals) are not meant to be worn every day. They're not hard wearing enough so should be worn as occasion jewellery instead. After a lot of money and 3 times fixing it in 6 months, he bought me a new ring with a cubic instead and he proposed again. The ring is totally different to the first one, but I love it just as much and he still chose it totally by himself.
Sign In or Register to comment.