best man

Having a few minor problems choosing a best man and just wondered what other people thought.

The problem is that my fiances oldest and best friend is lovely but a bit of a lad and not at all responsible! Also I don't know him that well, whereas some of his other mates know us both as a couple more, which would be nicer seeing as the best man is closely involved on the day.

My fiance appreciates all this but I think still wants him anyway and I don't want to influence him into choosing someone I want as its his decision.

Any advice?


  • LauraryLaurary Posts: 110
    Let him decide me thinks, no one knows their friends like them selves and this guy might just surprise you!!!

    H2B said he might have his bro who is a renowned student who like a drink and seeing how it flows at weddings we were intially worried but then thought it doesnt really matter, its either him or his other friend (who i used to date lol)

    i no what you mean about the knowing them but if you wanted someone as your MOH and you're H2B wasnt too sure would that stop you?? image
  • yeah I think you're right - he is a really nice guy anyway. I might try to encourage a couple of more responsible groomsmen or something to keep things in check on the stag do!

    lol about you dating his friend - the speech would have been interesting! x
  • I am in a very similar position but decided that at the end of the day i wouldnt want h2b interfearing with my bridesmaid choices and he should be able to have whoever he likes.

    He has decided to go with Andy (the wild card and definatly h2b's friend) rather than Adrian or Damo (the safer options and know us more as a couple) but I know that Andy is his best mate and is the right choice... just going to have to have someone to distract my grandma during his speech!!!
  • LizCALizCA Posts: 148
    We have been trying to sort this out this evening. Think H2b has made a decision and will ring chosen best man (friend) tomorrow. I was getting worried as we are getting married in March!

    H2b couldn't decide between his Dad and his friend - don't think his Dad was too kean and is doing our photography already (his mom kept saying.. no who are you really going to have??! when he mentioned it being his Dad) so the friend will be asked and he is a lovely guy, just that he moved with his wife to scotland 2 years ago and so we hardly see them now - i said that doesn't matter does it?!

  • Liz I dont think that matters as long as your h2b still feels like he's a close friend. Also, you don't want to give his dad too much to do on the day so he doesn't have time to enjoy himself!

    With regards to the replies to my original post - i think you're all just confirming what I already knew really - just wanted to see what people thought! I think part of the reason it seems a bit weird for me if this friend is the best man is coz all the rest of the wedding party will be mutual friends really - my bridesmaids are going to be my 2 sisters and my best friend and my fiance is really close to all 3 of them.

    I suppose myself, my fiance and his best man will just have to go for a few drinks/lunches together before the wedding so as to change the fact that we don;t know each other that well! x
  • LizCALizCA Posts: 148
    Yes that's what I was trying to get my h2b to think about as regards his Dad, but I didn't want to make the decision for him. (I feel like I'm making a lot of the wedding decisions myself as it is). I think it will be much better being his friend. Just fingers crossed he wants to be now!

    At least when it is sorted we can get ushers decided and then he can think about suits... Wrote a list tonight of what still needs to be sorted - so much!
  • clairemoneyclairemoney Posts: 2,255
    My H2B is having 2 best men! Hes having his life long friend and his brother - but both guys are saying they dont want to do a speech! what do i say - tough - your doing one! They are both really funny guys so they will be fine - will just have to make sure they have a few drinks beforehand!

    Theres so many decisions! but i agree with the girls above its the grooms decision i would never let H2B have a say on my Matron of Honour.
  • mjpengmjpeng Posts: 63
    Exactly, it's the groom's decision! My H2B is also thinking of asking his best man to do our video (he's an arty type and has the technology lol). Fingers crossed it won't be too much to ask for him!

    Clairemoney - Re: making sure they have a few drinks - also make sure it's not too many! You don't want them getting lairy and rude in front of everyone!!

  • clairemoneyclairemoney Posts: 2,255
    I dont have that to worry about, his 2 best men are the two sweetest lads ever so i am really comfortable with them doin it, sober or drunk! Im more worried about one of his ushers!! he will be p*ssed at the door!
  • i think it is totally 100% his decision, It is his best man not yours. Sorry I know it is not much help.....let's just hope he chooses the correct one
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