Charging guests to go to the wedding

Hello,



I'm getting married next year so will be on here lots. But this is a question is about my b2bs friends wedding.



What you do all think of this...



They are getting married and are charging each guest £125 each to go. Thats £250 for us to go to their wedding. They say they do not want wedding gifts though. They have also said how happy they are that everyone is paying and its not costing them anything.



Lots of people have backed out of the wedding as its costing to much (mainly families who have to pay for themselves and their children). So now they have invited other people who they are not bothered about just to make up the money. I kow some of the people they have invited just to make up the numbers and I think thats disgusting and rude.



I know some people ask for money instead of gifts, but thats different isnt it. You can give what you want then. They are expecting £125 each to actually go to the wedding.



Has anyone ever heard of this? I thnk its not good. All people are going to remember from their wedding is that we all had to pay to go, not how lovely it was!



sorry If its longs. What do you think? image
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Posts

  • Easily the cheekiest and most out of order thing I have ever heard.



    I would not be going.
  • melanierice1melanierice1 Posts: 1,966
    Agree with lyndseywoo - have never heard anything like it!!
  • FairyLouFairyLou Posts: 207
    Hate to soound rude but that really is out of order, mybe if all there firends and family and well off then thats down to them but some people can spend £10 on a wedding gift because thats all they can afford and ive been brought up to be grateful for the thought of the present not just getting a present if that makes sence i really thing thats bad etequet if nothing else, if i did that at my wedding i dount even my parents would be able to come let alone anyone else!!!

    If they cant afford a pricey wedding they should have a low key afair and save up some cash over a couple of years and have the wedding they want by renewing there vows,

    Hope this doesnt sound rude, not what i intended.

    XxX
  • MrsJen841MrsJen841 Posts: 610
    No offence, but I think that's scandalous! While it would be great to receive all that money - I'm sure our wedding reception would be empty as I dont think anyone would come!



    What if you're a family of 4?! Thats £500 for a day out! Plus all the new outfits, etc. as people usually buy a new outfit for a wedding!



    I'm even too scared to tell people that we'd rather have money than wedding presents because we dont have any spending money for out honeymoon! Imagine having the cheek to charge people to go a wedding! - Fair enough if you're a major celebrity or royalty or something like that and it's a privilege to be asked.



    Sorry, i know they're your friends and I dont want to sound bitchy I but I definitely dont agree with this and I'm sure there will be many many more replies agreeing with me!



    Jx image
  • Jess17ukJess17uk Posts: 2,381
    I agree with you Jen, it actually cheapens their wedding, cause they've changed into a paying event...and it's not even a charity event at that!

    Personally I wouldn't go to that wedding. I think they sould have asked for cash as weddign present instead ...they aren't even embarrased?
  • kingsukkingsuk Posts: 10
    I totally agree with you all. These people are not my friends, they are sort of friends with my b2b.



    My b2b has txt them today and said that we would like to go but we can not afford that and we are waiting to see what they say.



    To top it off, the stag do was not cheap for my b2b as that was a long weekend of activities.



    It just highlights the type of self centred people they really are.



    image
  • i could never do this no matter how much it would cost x
  • Thats outrageous!!! How tacky!
  • That's unbelievable! I wonder how many guests would be willing to fork out that much money even if they could afford it! I wouldn't ... just on principle alone!



    [Modified by: Lychees8 on October 09, 2006 01:43 PM]
  • emmacorrollemmacorroll Posts: 2,264
    I've never heard anything so outrageous!!



    Or so tacky!!



    Can I just ask, have you got a say in what food you're having because if I was paying that amount to go on a night out - I'd want a say!!!
  • RhianukRhianuk Posts: 659
    Surely they're having a laugh - in more ways than one!

    [Modified by: rhian2 on October 09, 2006 01:41 PM]
  • Good grief. People never cease to amaze me.



    I have never heard anything like it, how rude!!!
  • hlittlehlittle Posts: 445
    That is absolutely outrageous. Whether a glitzy bash or a small affair, you should never charge guests to attend a wedding. It's like inviting someone round for dinner then presenting them with a bill at the end of the night. Not asking for gifts in no way makes it OK as a £20 gift may be all some guests would ordinarily afford. If they'd done it a bit more tactfully, i.e. no gift list but contributions towards wine at the reception, or costs of a fancy photogrpaher perhaps, it would be OK, but an actual charge is so out of order, you can't put a price on friendship, love and happiness - it seems their priorities are all wrong.



    I know venues charging an all inclusive fee (i.e reception and all the rooms in the place) suggest you pass the cost of accommodation onto guests, which is fair enough if they are staying over but even then I don't think you could insist your guests stay there.
  • MoominmummyMoominmummy Posts: 1,621
    I agree it's absolutely disgusting! I think the majority of their guests will as well. Why should their guests have to shell out just cos they've chosen the nicer flowers or the more expensive wine!? You invite guests cos you want them there not so they can pay for you to have a better wedding than you can afford!!!!

    Appalled!!! Have they no shame? image
  • Bride28Bride28 Posts: 255
    I can't believe that!! image I was gobsmacked when I read that!



    I agree with the others who said it actually makes it tacky...and if they can't afford to have such a big do then they should make cuts/change things to what they can afford...not charge their guests!



    ~ Nat
  • ariel_vampariel_vamp Posts: 2,415
    i would certainly hope there'd be a free bar!

    it seems to me they are quite self-important- as if they are having the party of the year and everyone else is priviledged if they even get invited!
  • DaddyorChipsDaddyorChips Posts: 9,196
    Wonder why they didn't just ask for £200 each and turn a profit while they were at it!









    If you can't aford to get married you should either wait until you can afford it or have a smaller more intimate wedding not push the costs over to your guests. I have never heard the likes of it.

    [Modified by: Viv1 on October 09, 2006 03:05 PM]
  • LittleboboukLittlebobouk Posts: 5,369
    How rude is that we are getting married abroad and i was worried about the cost of everyone travelling to get there we have even offered to pay for people we know can not afford to be there because we want them to be there..and we are not asking for any gifts either how awful and what a horrid way to start a married life...



    I remember a friend of mine saying how great it was that they had only paid a thousand pounds for their wedding and easily got more than a thousand pounds worth of presents to me it is not about that ..



    These people need their heads checking
  • Joey0810Joey0810 Posts: 537
    I agree with everybody who has posted. Thats well rude. If you can't afford it just say so. Rather than getting everyone else to fork out for the bill of the wedding while they save up the penny's for their own pocket. Even if they were a really close friend I would still say know. Save £250 or go to the wedding. Save £250 I'm thinking. Have you heard back from them?
  • DaddyorChipsDaddyorChips Posts: 9,196
    On top of having to pay £250 you still have to get something to wear for the wedding for both of you. The total for the day could be in the region of £500 once you have bought your drinks and got home too.





    That's £500 that could go towards your own wedding!
  • belindaxxxbelindaxxx Posts: 2,277
    I cant believe this is actually real haha.

    If they cant afford the wedding they should have a low key affair-what would they have done if everybody said no?

  • kingsukkingsuk Posts: 10
    I have just been told that even the best man (who is also providing the evening entertainment, singing in his band) is paying the £125 each for him and his wife.



    I've also just been told that £60 of it goes towards accommodation for the night. But we live close by so do not need accommodation. And even if we did want to stay over somewhere we might like to choose our own b+b.



    Some of the other money is going towards water sports and stuff in the afternoon. I am not into water sports and would not be participating in anything like that. Its a very specialisd activity and im sure most people wont be interested in this, especially older people.



    I wonder what they would say if we charged them to go to our wedding?!! Not that we would do anything like that.
  • DaddyorChipsDaddyorChips Posts: 9,196
    A girl i know invited us to her wedding and told me wearing a hat was compulsory. I know we woould all like our guests to be dressed in a certain way and behave in a certain way but hell you invite people because you want them to share your day not because you think they would look good on the photographs. I don't wear hats and wouldn't know where to start with one (if you get my drift)





    I am still gobsmaked that you as a guest are being asked to pay for the wedding (in part)
  • That is sooooo weard. A guy who I work with got married last august and he had a 'wedding weekend' and charged people £120 to go. Peachypies, you said that people pulled out and they invited other people to make up the numbers. Well, I was suppost to be one of them at this guys wedding. I wasnt invited at first and then near the wedding I was. Some other people close to him told me it was because people had pulled out. Anyway, I said I would love to go put cannot afford that much so I just went to the 'pre-wedding dinner' on the friday. For some reason I didnt get charged for that - I must have slipped throught the net!



    Some of his close friends at work were charged the full £120, but said they could not afford it so he reduced their price to £60 each, but told them not to tell anyone else. It was reduced to £60 as this is what their accommodation apparently cost.



    Whenever I see them both now I just remember this event. Everyone at our school remembers this and its disgusting. We all have now realised what a self obssessed couple they are. I was getting over it, but the other day someone at school was talking about there future wedding and saying its costing so much and this guy said in a positive way 'my wedding didn't cost me anything'. Don't we know it!!
  • All I can say is WOW, that is unreal, how people can (try) get away with that is unbelivable.



    Hell I feel bad enough that our guests will have to pay for their rooms in the hotel but everything else is paid for.



    For that amount of money I would want a private chauferred car to take me to and from the event (doesn't have to be posh) champagne laid on in the rooms with free room service, free breakfast and free bar all night.



    That is beyond cheeky that is rude
  • yes it is rude, but we don't know the whole story, if you get everything, like accomodation, activities food and drink then £125 isnt bad (but yes still cheeky) For an activities weekend away with food and accom you would pay a lot more.



    Me and my H2B joked about charging people as we may be having a fairly known band at the wedding. but all we did was joke, there's no way we'd charge people, expecially as over half will be travelling from Bristol (or further) to Aberdeen which costs enough, then pay accomodation, and then whatever they wear on top of that. I'm sure all that ends up more than £125 as it is!!



    This is the one time in our lives we can give everyone a free party.



    although I do get annoyed with guests who expect so much from weddings. ie a free bar, 5 course meal, favours etc etc. We cannot possibly give everyone we know that, if they are coming it is to see us marry and have a good time. we cant do everything for them, so one drink, a buffet meal and some bands will have to do! Oh and sword fighting!!! We're going for the entertainment wow factor instead of favours/extravagant meal. that said our banquet should be pretty good!
  • Saint-BertieSaint-Bertie Posts: 6,678
    Sorry - but I also think this is outrageous! So what if the money is going towards water activities - they have chosen to have them at their wedding. Techinically its the same as having a magician to entertain, the band/dj for guests to dance to, even a creche and charging guests for that which I doubt none of us would even consider doing! We're getting married, having the wedding we want and inviting our friends and family to celebrate WITH us.



    Personally - I wouldn't go
  • Peachypies, I think charging people to go to a wedding is disgusting. If the people you know can't afford a wedding they should just have a quiet reception! I wouldn't dream of asking our guests to pay. And in answer to your question, No I have never heard of this before!
  • If I were in your shoes I would refuse to attend out of principle.
  • hi there



    sorry but it may sound strange but people are paying for there food at our wedding but that is because it is 5 days before christmas and it is not in the excess of £125 per head but more like £15 but it is maninly family that are attending and it is a small party of 10 thats including us so i guess i am in the same category as your friend! But then in my deffence i don't think that is cheeky of me as i am only having a meal after my wedding as all our plans have been brought forward from August next year due to work commitments. So am i being cheeky and rude??



    :\?
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