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I'm feeling so low I could cry all the time.

Hi All,

I just need a bit of a rant and a shoulder to cry on.

Some of you know my issues that I had with finding a cbm, one friend said they'd do it found out she was pregnant and decided she didn't want to do it although baby was born april 07 and I'm getting married aug 08. I got someone else but she is far from supportive and everything is left on my shoulders. I mentioned my hen do and she said she'd come and let her know when and where, I wanted some help with it all. After I explained that she has helped a little but I'm still planning it.

She's also been so distant after moving her boyf in, I never hear from her and have to call or text at least 5 times before getting a response, she'll only do something if he's already made plans. I know she's in love but feel as though she's just forgotten about everything. I'm also not sure how I feel about him, he was living with someone else then started dating my friend, he split with this woman he was living with after 5 months then moved in straight away with my friend as she'd recently bought her first house. But he has done this to other women 3 times in the past, he seems to live with someone, line someone else up then move in with them, I hope it's different this time because I'm worried for her, she's forgetting everyone else bar him.

I got some prices for Dublin a week past Thursday based on 3 share and 2 share to keep costs down and I called everyone up who said they wanted to go to arrange collection of deposits. (I told everyone june that I needed £70 for now to book, every month since then I also reminded them, said they could give me bits at a time etc to make it easier, I'd pick up but no-one took me up on offer). Many said I would have the money by wednesday gone. I wanted to book saturday I'm really concious that the flights will go up etc. Cbm wanted me to wait until today so she could come - fine. As of last night I was still waiting for 6 deposits including that of cbm, I sent so many texts and rang people yesterday but was constantly getting ignored including by cbm.

I got 3 responses that I could collect their money this afternoon before I booked another said they'd post it through the letter box and what was left was of cbm and her sister (cbm has her sisters money).

I finally got a response from cbm at 11pm last night saying she couldn't come today because she is at work, she finds her shifts out 2 weeks in advance. I can't believe she has done this I feel so disappointed. So I can't even book alone as she has her and her sisters deposits. She said she'd drop it off at mine this afternoon so I could go book alone but I don't have the car to get to the travel agents so that's me not booking until the weekend again. I'd just go to the travel agents in town but she wants me to use a travel agents her mate works at, I don't mind but it's hard for me to get there without a car. And I don't even know if shes dropping it off as she continually doesn't reply to me.

I just feel as though she doesn't even care how important this is to me. I'm so stressed out about everything.. weight loss and feeling disgusting and fat all of the time, uni work - not knowing how to do it and not having time to fit everything in including having a life and even something simple like cooking tea for me and h2b, trying to do some work for an ex-collegue for peanuts for what he wants just to try to get some money so we can survive and getting pulled to bits as the work isn't good enough for him.

I don't feel as though I have any real friends, I constantly get forgotten about, invited after the event etc. H2b never really understands but I think maybe he did last night as I never get support from my cbm and I'm just so sad all of the time. image

I just want one real friend to share problems with and talk to and have fun with. I have my h2b and I love him to bits but sometimes I just want some female company, none of which I have at the moment as I've slowly come to realise that people I thought my friends really aren't. image


  • oh goodness i know how you feel its really hard me and my sister have had a big fall out and she is now only having to turn up and wear the dress, its so depressing.

    Ill be your friend what do you fancy chatting aboutxxxx hugs
  • adelesarahadelesarah Posts: 1,981
    Poor you - both of you, falling out with your sister must be horrid, and having your friend not supposrt you must be horrid too. It sounds like her man is a creep, I bet she'll notice soon and will be back to herself. get your hen night booked asap, don't let it slip because of her.
  • oh princess sorry your feeling really down.

    I dont think some people realise the importance of friendship until its gone.

    One of my bridesmaids has just reacently got a new boyfriend and they have got really serious really quick. She doesn't reply to texts any more or ever come out on girlie nights!She seems to do this alot, you see her all the time when she is single but throw a man into the equation and she just vanishes.

    How many bridesmaids have you got? I Wouuld just send 1 more tesxt saying money is needed and if not received by x date then you will go without them.

    In regards to not having any friends you have us to talk to about anything!

    Where abouts do you live, are there not any classes you could sign up to to maybe meet some new people. I felt very similar to you when i was pregnant, everyone thought becuase i was pregnant i would never want to do anything so had to find other people to chat with so started talking to a few of the mums at my little boys nursery and have made a few good friends from there.also is there anyone at your slimming club that you could maybe arrange a few drinks with? x

    Kep you chin up and if you ever need to chat just email me image)

  • Pr1nces5Pr1nces5 Posts: 2,581
    I'm only having her as my cbm and h2b 2 nieces as bm (13 and 10 at mo). H2b is livid and says he wants to have words with her to make her see how imprtant a job she has, that she can't just turn up on the day and that's it. I feel let down by it all. Makes my wedding planning at the moment much less enjoyable.

    He has suggested that we arrange a night in or out but she'll only do something when her boyfriend is out or has plans which is not very often.

    She eventually replied yesterday after I text her another 4 times to say she wants to come book on friday with me so wait until then. I'll wait with baited breath for friday..
  • Oh Heck pecky Princess!

    You know you can always talk to us, Blooming bridesmaids eh don't her do this to you just be firm and tell how you feel just be honest! Good luck chick x
  • Hi Princess, How are you feeling now? how's things going? Are you from the north east? I am from Co. Durham, get in touch, we can be wedding friends! my email is [email protected], hope you had a good christmas, love and hugs xx
  • Pr1nces5Pr1nces5 Posts: 2,581
    I'm still feeling disappointed over my 'friend' and her complete lack of interest. I've not even heard from her over xmas despite sending xmas cards texts etc. H2b has said I should sack her but who to find when she was the only one who would do it, a bride without a cbm on the day as she doesn't have a friend to do it.. pretty darn pathetic, so I guess I'm lumbered!

    I'm from northumberland.

  • Not suprised your feeling disappointed. I think you should try and tell your 'friend' how your feeling, if she is not understanding and continues to show no interest, you may have to bite the bullet and tell her to sod off! Know it's tough when there's nobody else you can really ask but this is such a special time in your life and it seems that this is putting a black cloud over it for you. You may be better off without her. My CB is my best friend, who is trying for a baby at the minute so im in a pickle over that, it may sound awful but I dont want a heavily pregnant CB! Ive explained this to her and she's fine with it, we decided to wait until about April for dresses, if she's not preg by then, it will be ok for CB role in Aug, but if she falls pregnant before then, I also will have nobody I would feel happy to ask in replace of her. Had an idea, why dont we be each other's reserve!?! Think of yourself and how your CB is making you feel, be strong and to the point with her. Good Luck. Let me know how you get on.xx
  • Hey princess, your "friend" is ruining it for you. Its you and your h2b's big day, and if it were me, if she doesn't start supporting you a bit more, I'd actually consider not having bridesmaids at all - I know it might not be what you wanted, but, if there's no nieces or nephews to be bridesmaids/page boys, then maybe consider something else. You could always look into hiring a wedding planner, or get another family member involved in the planning or even consider getting married abroad - no bridesmaids required!

    I've got a chief bridesmaid, but I'm doing all the planning myself, we both work and she has a young child too, plus we live in different counties! Could you get your h2b involved in more of the planning?
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