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People that drop out at the last minute

Someone please make me feel better and tell me you are getting this too.

It's not their fault, but so far Mr Pookie's Grandad and his wife are not coming as he just had a heart attack, and then I get a call this morning from my best friend to say his wife has just been diagnosed with pig flu so they probably won't be there either.

At this rate there's not going to be anyone at my wedding sob sob...


  • jillguyjillguy Posts: 336
    I know how you feel. I was only having a small do anyway. But so many are not coming or can not even be bothered to let me know at all. I would not mind but I work with most of them all day. Just a 'yes' or 'no' would do. We have booked a room that holds 80 and now looks like around 30 will be there. So worried it will look empty and quiet. Dreamt last night only10 turned up.
  • JAX1145JAX1145 Posts: 1,742
    There will always be someone that drops outv at the last minute,..

    Ppl just dont realise that wedding cost a fortune...

    but it will not ruin your day believe me..

    We had a friend from work turn up without her hubby!.. what annoyed me was it was costing us £82 perhead....i could of put someone else in even if we knew 2 days b4 hand....

    but it didnt rtuin my day and he wasnt missed...well not by us!!lol
  • SerahukSerahuk Posts: 1,687
    It's not just you, it's okimage

    3 of my 'friends' have dropped out over the last 2 weeks and yesterday two relatives said they weren't coming. That's just under £300 quid we've paid and didn't need to, fortunately our wedding co ordinator has been fab and luckily refunded it so we're putting it towards Ibiza for H2B's 30th Birthday lol
  • We've been quite fortunate in that the venue have said they will credit us for one of the meals for Mr Pookie's Grandad as we only want to replace him and his wife with one person.

    With regards to best friend, I can replace them with someone but to be honest if I had have wanted those people at the whole thing I would ahve invited them anyway. Bit gutted my best friend that I have known since I was 13 will probably not be there.

    Jillguy, I am in exactly the same boat! We only have 29 guests coming to the day and by the time Friday gets here it seems like it might just be me, h2b and the registrar lol!
  • Same here!

    We've had 7 drop out with only 10 days to go and my table plan all printed image

    We're putting the cash behind the bar x
  • LizzylouukLizzylouuk Posts: 893
    2 of my friends split with their BFs... not their faults, so we have just invited 2 other friends... we have actually ended up with 1 extra person this week... another story... i won't go in to!
  • becciobeccio Posts: 518
    Owww sorry to hear of all your troubles BUT glad it's not just me! 4 dropped out in past week. Now left with a table with 4 people!!!! Either gotta scrap table and waste centrepieces etc or invite stand ins or reshuffle other tables. Fun and games.
  • clarryclarry Posts: 3,311
    Mrs Pookie, as the other Ladies have shown you its not just you!

    We've had 10 in total drop out (various reasons from arguments, to death). Tonight however we had a phone call to ask if one of the guests's daughter could come??!! How rude!!

    At the mo I'm poorley sick image so who knows, my space could be going spare!

  • Its happened to me, 3 people dropped out due to unforeseen circumstances, but we had a reserve list to bump up from the evening to the day, and they are fine with it. We explained that we could only afford 80 guests to the day, and a couple of close friends who didn't quite make it into the day numbers have been great when we asked them to be bumped up to the day do!
  • Im so glad its not just me! I have a little dillema! I have a neice who is looked after her mums aunty and daughter. Myer is only 2. I have invited my flower girls aunty and daughter (long story) to the wedding and they are saying they dont want to come because they have no money. I told them they don't need any money, nor do they need to bring a gift just as long as they are there, but ive still had no reply. I want them there as if they wern't it would mean my mum would have to baby sit which i dont want her to do as i want her to enjoy herself. We have already paid for the reception so was going to invite a few more friends from the night do in place, but i have a feeling they are just going to turn up even though they said they wouldnt. What should i do? Ive sorted out my seating plan (not printed). We are having 6 tables of 8 and if they come and we have invited an extra 3, the tables are going to be really messed up. I really want them to come as i want myer to be there all day, but if her guardians arn't coming, it means she wont be able to go to the reception as they wont be able to pick her up :C

    What should i do???

  • When is your wedding? I would call them and be quite blunt, but then that's just me! Tell them if you do not have a definitive answer by x date you will assume they have decided not to come and you will give their space to someone else, which means there will be no room at the inn for them!
  • clarryclarry Posts: 3,311
    Aggrrr - just had a TEXT off my Auntie to say that she thought she had better let me know that her partner won't be coming on Saturday. How considerate of her letting me know - and by freakin text!!

    The best one was last night - phone call off h2b's Nan to ask if his Uncle's Girlfriend's daughter could be dropped off at the venue at 5pm as they don't have a babysitter past then! Never even met the girlfriend never mind the daughter (who wasn't invited at all) that will be a no!!! Ended up agreeing that the child come come to the evening else the girlfriend would be leaving before the meal that we've already paid for!
  • lucyrmacklinlucyrmacklin Posts: 2,316
    Oh no that's rubbish!

    I've got hte opposite problem in that my mum decided to invite two people she saw at a wedding last SATURDAY!! I've only seen these people once in 15 years so now I've had to order more food and chair covers. Then my dad rings me and starts asking me where I've put such and such and I'm really trying not to lose my temper because I thought we had everything sorted!!!
  • becciobeccio Posts: 518
    Is it me or are some people so ignorant they shouldn't be allowed to go to weddings????!
  • lucyrmacklinlucyrmacklin Posts: 2,316
    Oh M&B2b I thought that was why you'd not been around on fb either. Are you ok hun?

  • magee1984magee1984 Posts: 596
    I'm having the same problem and it's really stressing me out! We've had 5 people pull out so far this week and the wedding is on Saturday! Some have geniune reasons, but 2 have had pathetic excuses and what makes it even worse is that they are people that kicked up a fuss to be invited!! I made my beautifukl table plan on Sunday and now it's going to have to be redone!! image

  • tigger_197613tigger_197613 Posts: 4,416
    we had alot of people that didnt bother to let us know they werent coming, they had rsvp'd us saying yes they would be there , anyway after wedding we went thru the guest list and in total had 25 people who could not be bothered to let us know for whatever reason they werent gonna be able to make it, \!!!!!!!!
  • Ive had one person cancell upto now, my problem is the opposite people keep asking me if they can bring such a person that i havent even met, dont they realize it costs so much per head for a wedding breakfast chair cover personalized napkin and evenin buffet, should i invite them or not..? at the beginning i was like i dont want to leave anyone out but now the venue has been paid for table plan done and chair covers napkins ordered im like aaarrrghhh no...what can i do??
  • LizzylouukLizzylouuk Posts: 893
    when is the wedding 1974babe??? i would be saying no to be honest.... but then i am 3 days away!
  • OMG 3 days away....are you keeping i get married 8th aug...
  • I had one girl who didn't even bother telling me she wasn't coming. The girl she was going with said in a text - oh its a shame ***isn't coming. - I was thinking...she isn't vcoming? Nice of her to tell me after telling me not 2 months ago she was. So i text *** and she said that as she hadn't heard from me in 2 weeks she had decided it best not to go. at this point i poiltely text back (bloody glad i didn't call or i would have shouted) that i have a WEDDING TO PLAN AND 10 DAYS TILL THE WEDDING!!!Argh - wouldn't mind, but she got married last year so knows how stressful it is. I mean for goodness sake if i had to pamper and shower each of my guests with permanenet attention i'd never get anything done - selfish!||!|!
  • lms011lms011 Posts: 290
    I had one no show last week - no explanation, apology, nothing. I'm not chasing to find out why she didnt come, its over now but I was pretty annoyed cos the table had to be changed whilst the other guests were sat there, and there was food wasted (well, I expect/hope the staff ate it). Her OH was there, but he said nothing about it even though they both confirmed on the acceptance card. xx

    [Modified by: Lynxie on July 15, 2009 05:51 PM]

  • Becki_gukBecki_guk Posts: 331
    Definitly not the only one-we've had 5 people drop out from the day reception and a child-one being the best man!! we've had to order another suit for the replacement best man and try and get another tankard as we'd got them for everyone on the top table. We've had some people drop out of the evening too. We've had to re-do the table plan-it's been a nightmare.

    We've lost hundreds of pounds but i keep being told i souldn't be annoyed!!! yeah right!
  • bluebilbybluebilby Posts: 198
    We've had 2 drop out from the evening but 7 late acceptances! Luckily not a prob as we're not catering for exact numbers anyway, but could have been tricky if not!
  • DianekocsisDianekocsis Posts: 627
    Same here i have people dropping out left right and centre and my table plans all done so there will be spaces i can understand ill health or maybe something like that but i have given my friends nearly 18mths notice some who couldnt even be botherd to reply to invite are coming what am i suposed to be phychic and think yeah i know what ur doing so dnt bother with other have said the one`s who are not there wont be missed and it wont spoil the day . My eldist son has invited loads of his mates to evening reception notthat i mind cause i know most of them but i just keep hearing ohhh yeah im going to cottages mum& dads renewing of wedding vows maybe i should stick notice on the door all welcome lol. At this stage it just isnt worth stressing over i have promiced myself to stay calm and enjoy every moment and think back on what a wonderful man i married 25 years ago and now were doing it all again.... AM I MAD ? LOL
  • Jill31Jill31 Posts: 1

    I'm so glad I found this. We were only planning on having a small wedding anyway but so many people have said that they can't make it for various reasons that I'm worried that the whole thing is going to be tiny. I wouldn't mind but we picked a venue that was pricey because we absolutely loved the place. We sent out save the date cards nearly a year ago, so people have had plenty of notice

  • We're in the same boat too Jill31. It's so tricky isn't it and sometimes you can really get your feelings hurt with this wedding business! We need 60 bums on seats to have our room, I've had a couple of very good friends say no because they have kids and it's too difficult to find childcare. I completely understand the challenges but was also a little hurt because I did think they'd make the effort, as I did for theirs. We have had a ton of people not even bother to RSVP. I mean what's that about? They just couldn't be bothered? We even created a wedding website so you could RSVP on that. It's not like they have to buy a card and walk to the post box!! People are bizarre!

    At the end of the day, you're getting married and I'm sure the people that really matter will be there. You probably won't even notice on the day. And on the plus side... Less people to have go round trying to make sure you talk to. You don't want to be working the room for hours and you want to enjoy your day. So hey ho.. Maybe a silver lining?


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