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Guest list

Raised the subject of guest list with future in-laws last night and it did not go down well. We don't want any more than 80 day guests and we don't mind more coming at night. My mum & dad are happy for it to just be family and close friends of ours during the day as it should be people that mean something to us. They would like some of their friends there at night.

So basically our list is aunts, uncles, all H2B cousins and some of my cousins (I have a larger family so have left some of mine out) and our friends. Our evening list was H2B's parents friends, my parents friends and our friends.

They're not happy with that though and they want at least 4 of their friends moved to full day guests.

I know that 4 isn't that much but our list currently stands at 82 if everyone came and including possible plus ones and we feel that then we'd need to have 4 of my mum and dad's friends too so then you're at 90 before you know it!!

Plus there are other things making me want to dig my heels in like MIL2B saying that there isn't any point in her spending money on a nice outfit if none of her generation are there to see it. Plus when H2Bs sister got married the mother of the groom had no friends there and now I feel like it's one rule for them and one rule for everyone else image Am I just unreasonable?!?! I probably am but I feel it should be about me and H2B showing our love by making a commitment to each other not about parents showing off to their friends!!

However, H2B seems really sad because he's guilty and I hate seeing him like that because usually nothing bothers him to I think that I should maybe back down.

Anyone else having similar problems? x


  • KpeacockukKpeacockuk Posts: 351
    Nightmare - the guestlist is so easily stretched! What about saying yeah, invite them, as long as your MIL2B can pay for them! See what she has to say then.
  • febesuk1febesuk1 Posts: 139
    can I just say something.... I want my friends there too. Yeah? because it is my wedding no? NO IT IS YOUR WEDDING!!! your MIL needs reminding of that i think?
  • clairemblackclairemblack Posts: 2,922
    I know!! Do you actually know that she refers to her daughters wedding as "their" wedding?!?!?! I feel bad having a go as other than this I do get on with her OK but it's one area that we'll never see eye to eye on.

    Kpeacock, would be a good suggestion but unfortunately they'd happily throw money at us to get their own way and instead of 4 it would be about 24 AT LEAST!!!! She'd have more friends there than me!!

    Oh well, as H2B keeps reminding me - at least we have each other!!
  • Lainey101Lainey101 Posts: 128
    I had this "problem" too , although it was my mum that wanted all her mates at the full day, however my Dad managed to step in and just remind her that it was my fiance and my Wedding.... he reminded her about their wedding when their parents took over.... That brought her down to earth with a crash and she is totally cool with the Guest List now, she realized that it had to be people that meant something to us (the Bride and Groom) and in the evening we can invite friends of everyone!! :\) Good Luck and I hope it gets resolved soon.
  • mrshampson2bemrshampson2be Posts: 1,690
    I know it will be hard and not nice for h2b more than you but i would really dig my heels in and tell them that they day guests are limited to 80 and your already at that limit so will be happy to have them to the evening but can not accommodate them at the day.

    Maybe say you already have a list of people you will bump up to full day if invited guests cant make it and your happy to add their friends to the end of that waiting list so if more people are unable to come then they can.

    Sounds like a comprimise but not really!!
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