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Church or civil ceremony

I have a dilemma and I need some advice!!! I have been engaged since Feb but I am having a battle with the idea of a church wedding or civil ceremony. My H2B doesn't like the idea of getting married in a church as he feels it would be inappropriate as we don't go to church very often. I on the other hand quite liked the idea a church wedding but he has found me a beautiful venue for a civil ceremony and I caved as his views where stronger.

But now my mum has got involved and keeps chipping in about getting married at the local church and I have to admit I am beginning to cave! I have always associated weddings with churches and can't quite get it out of my head.

Should I push for the big church wedding and please my mum (and me a little) but make my H2B a little uncomfortable??

Or is getting married in a church not the be all and end all of a wedding and go with my H2B's idea, which I do like, but keep having these wavering thoughts?



  • joannevanejoannevane Posts: 493
    Hi, I get married in Aug 09 but thought I would chip in as I had exactly the same dilemma as you.

    We were dead set on a civil ceremony as my partner felt the same as yours and he has not been christened,he has always said that he would never marry in church, but i had a niggling feeling inside that I had always imagined getting married in a church and I really couldnt decide what to do.

    We went to the church together one evening just for a look around and met with the vicar, as soon as we walked in i think we both new that it felt right and meeting the vicar really put us at ease.

    I didnt ask my h2b to change his mind he was the one in the end to say he wanted to get married in the church and now we have made that decision i am really happy with it and could not imagine not.

    Also I know my mum is happier and so would my Nan be but these points shouldnt cloud your choice as it is yours and your h2bs day and it has to be where you are comfortable.

    I think the fact that our vicar is so relaxed and very down to earth made it the right choice for us,

    Good luck with your choice!!
  • hy mrs ob,well av always wanted to get married in achurch for the simple reason thats is a lovely setting and also because am a catholic.but now av opt for a civil ceromony and a blessing because its more convient for us.the chaple on site wer gettin hicthed is just like a mini church so i win both ways
  • SarahToddSarahTodd Posts: 298
    Thanks Jo. what an idea I may just try and take him for a look. If we like it we like it and at least that way we have considered both options seriously and it will put my mind at ease.
  • hi there, i am having a civil ceremony, and i couldnt be happier. But what you need to think about is what you and your H2B want. But although the venue is important, isnt the most important bit the fact you are merrying him in the first place, so any venue will be special. And although your mum wants the best for you, it isnt just your day, it is his as well. So maybe spending a day looking round places, and when you both find the right one, it will all fit into place.

    Good luck, xx
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