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Feel like I rushed into my BM decision

I asked my best friend to be one of my BM's not long after I got engaged, I know it's still a while until our wedding but I would at least expect her to remember the date!! I also feel as though we have driffted apart a little since she had her baby. I don't know what to do, I hope things will get better.


  • This happened to me hun, I asked who I considered to be my best friend to be my BM, she also lives with us (and was at the time going out with my brother), however her and my brother have broken up, she still lives with us but our friendship has deterioted so much so that I can't bring myself to talk more then polite conversation with her. I have not talked about the wedding with he because of this, I now dont want her as my BM or even at the wedding after finding out things she has said behind my bakc and her attitude towards my H2B.

    I hope things do het better for you hun, I know that weddingy talk can become a bit much for others that are no us B2b's and people seem dissintersted when it is 2011 (All I here is 'it's ages away'). There is plenty of time for you to get your friendship back on track, if that doesn't work, them I'm sure if you explain the situation to her she will understand xx
  • I have a similar situtation! Originally I was only going to have 1 BM but after nagging and also consideration I decided to change that figure to 3. The BM who did the nagging was asked to be BM that was back in aug, I have since not heard from her at all. Not even a quick email to ask how the planning is going.
  • Bear0803Bear0803 Posts: 848
    Hmmm this one is tricky as Ive been here and no longer have the bridesmaid I asked. I asked my best mate and another friend close after becoming engaged too and all was great, Ive been engaged a year and a half and what a change in my now ex best friend Ive seen. Im not trying to scare you off but people can change and then again it may be she has alot on her mind with the baby.

    When I was engaged in 2008 and booked my wedding for july 2010, everyone thought it was too early and soon lost interest in the day, I know to us its extremely exciting and endless planning, bouquets must match the ribbons on the tea cups etc but its not all that interesting after a while to others-its not that they dont care hun, please dont see it as an attack or your friend turning her back but she may just think its far away. I think unless youre a bride to be or have been its hard to see the excitement and stay that way for two years.

    Personally I would try seeing her, stay in touch and tell her you would love for her to be more involved, start going to fairs together and have a scrap book but dont over load her with wedding talk-do that here!

    If you still feel the same in a few months down the line and ou have given your friend the opportunity to proove shes worth having as a bridesmaid and a friend then you can always ask her to step down or confide in her that you rushed it..come to that bridge if you need to. My friend changed completely after meeting a new guy a few months back and now we dont talk at all so anything can happen.

    Hope it all works out for you.
  • Hi there timesfly

    Friendship are like any major relationship, they go through ups and downs and they take work. Your friend is just gone through a major change with having the baby, hormones all over the place, lack of sleep etc. Get it touch with her. Meet up. Have a good chat about the wedding plans, how things are for her with baby. Good friends are hard to come by.

    I don't see as much of my best friend as I used to. We used to live together, travelled together, but now we live in different parts of the country. It's tough. Your lives go in different directions.

    I'm sure she'd be devastated if you say you'd changed your mind about having her as a bridesmaid.
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