"we can't afford it until after the wedding"

4 months tomorrow for me I cant wait but its now been over a year of hard saving and spending money on wedding things that I am starting to get fed up with being poor and all of the final payment bills are going to start flooding in soon! anyone else out there feeling this stress? Our line of the moment is "we can't afford it until after the wedding" this includes a new car we pray everyday our rust bucket holds out just 5 months longer!), new bathroom, being able to go on holiday, out for dinner, move my career forward as I am going self employed then little things like going out for dinner, accepting weekend invites away. Dont get me wrong I know all the stress and saving will be worth it on the day but for the newly engaged out there my advise would be really think about what you want and keep a lid on your budget - we are way over and my "I dont care becuase its my wedding" attitude has faded and days like today I wish we hadnt been so extravagant! No doubt next week at our florist sample day I will forget this and fall  in love with the arrangements but at the moment 14 tall orchid flower centre pieces with really weren't necessary!!


  • LeaBLeaB Posts: 1,706

    aw sammi its not just you! it was only yesterday I was saying it sucks saving up for our wedding, I felt like we had wasted our weekend away because we couldn't afford to do anything and the weather was terrible so we couldn't even go out and get some fresh air! It just seems that every little penny we have is going into the big day and I know it will be worth it in the end but at the moment it is a little depressing! H2B really want's a new car but we agreed not til after the wedding... but at least he is thinking of it as his treat for after the wedding. All I can say is you only have 4 months left I have 12 months left, lets hope we get a good summer so can be out and about and not spending money x

  • Mrs ShepMrs Shep Posts: 229

    Sammi. We are date twins and I am the same as you. H2B and I both have good jobs but have literally saved like lunatics since last September.

    We too have blown our budget ridiculously. Trouble was h2b said let's have what we want, which is fine for the big stuff......didn't even consider the small stuff (that costs £200-300 for each thing) That adds up!!

    It will all be worth it but cannot wait to be financially better off in October!! Xx

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    We've just had an offer on a new home accepted.... but can't do anything to it til after next April. I feel your pain!!

  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    Completely agree, we luckly didn't over stretch ourselves because I didn't want to be in the position of not having a life for a year just to pay for the wedding, I think it's important to have a realistic budget and remember that depriving yourself of things you enjoy for the sake of your wedding can get very boring and depressing very quickly!

  • SammiSammi Posts: 279

    I feel like I am being silly winging because we didnt HAVE to spend the money but you set out with all of the best intentions thinking its only 18 months of saving for the perfect day and will be worth it but 14months in it is as Heliganeden says - gets boring and depressing qucikly!! just one of those days where i am being grumpy as I want to go out for dinner but thinking the money could pay for the card and ribbon for the order of service! - totally true MrsShep its all the added extras!! I will try and masterchef up some random ingredients from the fridge and try to enjoy the DIY instead image


  • Tigso1987Tigso1987 Posts: 647

    I know what you mean. We're getting married Sept 2014 and are trying to do house up and sometimes you think "I could have done this, this and this with that money" but it'll be a great day. I'm sort of glad it's quite a bit away because it means I can budget everything and buy bits here and there so it's not feeling as bad

  • PurdyPurdy Posts: 181

    I agree with you all guys.  There's a lot to be said for a registry office - is my thinking right now when the church is costing us nearly £1000 on top of nearly everything else being somewhere between £300 - £900, ditto with getting grumpy about not being able to go out or afford anything without thinking i should be spending it on the wedding.  We hope to move house once we've had the wedding - which will mean saving all over again image for the deposit.  Do we live to work or work to live .... definitely if you're starting it all the process now - do heed the advice of people who say think about what's important for YOU - not everybody else ie if you don't want 100 people at your wedding - then don't feel obliged to book somewhere where their min number is 100 and don't feel pressure from family to invite more than you can afford.  Also give yourself time to think - we booked a venue only to change it 3 months later after really thinking about it all - losing £500 deposit to boot.  Don't be rushed or pushed into decisions where money is concerned! image (note to selfimage

  • MrsPar13MrsPar13 Posts: 821

    Our mantra became "after the wedding", everything was put off until after the wedding particularly with only four months to go we knew final payments would be asked for shortly. However after the wedding it is soo nice to have had our day with the bits we wanted and to not be in debt or having to worry about money afterwards its a really nice feeling.

    Now we have to save for a deposit. I truly hate saving  X x 

  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    thats what we'll be doing MrsPar, all my spare money is going in to the wedding and once we're married we'll both be skriming hard for a mortgage then pobably a new car to be able to start thinking about babies (it turns out you need something big for 2 adults, 2 german shepherds and babyimage ) before we started saving chris was a student so its a feeing we're used to but itd be nice to have a decent amount of disopable income that isnt tied to something.


    i guess its just working out what your priorities are

  • SammiSammi Posts: 279

    we are lucky we bought a house about 4 months before we got engaged but disposable income is not something we have at the moment - you have all helped me look on the brightside though we won't be in debt after - just 4 more months of sucking it up!! ah and yes babies -- definitely cannot afford one of those yet!! I will be glad of eerything we have saived for, its one of those if we didnt have something I would be saying "if we just saved a bit more" - geez I do my own head in...

  • MrsPar13MrsPar13 Posts: 821

    I wish we had bought before having children in all honesty.We so did things the wrong way round. 2 babies, a Wedding and now saving for a house. We definitely made life harder for ourselves. But (here's the gushy bit) I'm really proud of us. We managed to pay for our wedding, still live without feeling the strain too much,No debt, no baggage from one of the best and most expensive days of our lives. Now we get to focus on the future. Which consists of more saving yey!! 

  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    awwwwww, thats very sweet!

    i am proud we're payng for our day, sometimes i bit jealous of those who get help from parents and sometimes very skint but mostly it feels good

  • I totally feel everyones pain!!  In the VERY early days of planning I was adament that I did not want to spend loads on a wedding, but everything seemed to be more expensive that I thought it would be.  Also as it is OUR day we;ve compromised loads on what we are having (h2b weirdly seems to have more expensive tastes!).  Now its creeping up and feel like everything is a stretch and not really affordable...just can't wait to be able to go out and not feel guilty about buying something because it should go on the wedding!

    We're looking at booking a little minimoon for just after the wedding and are totally unsure what to do as even that seems to be more expensive than we thought, so we're not wondering if we really need it, but think it would be so nice to chill out for a few dats afterwards.

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