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Mother in law issues


Can anyone offer me any advice? I'm at my wits end!

I'm having issues with my fiance's parents. They are insisting that I have his sister as bridesmaid. I am only having one matron of honour who is my closest friend and like a sister to me. My other friends I have had to turn down, and offer them other roles. I am getting married in a civil ceremony and feel too many bridesmaids will look silly and I also want to keep the wedding as low key as possible, it's my fiance who wants the big white wedding, not me. My fiance and I are having huge arguements about this and although he is backing me with his mum and dad he actually agrees with them and thinks I am out of order. My main concern is that he is putting his family and their wants before mine and this just isn't good enough grounds to base a marriage on.

He says one more bridesmaid won't make a difference, but I feel I am being pressurised into this and that it is ultimately my decision who I have as bridesmaid. I haven't insisted my brother be his best man, and I wouldn't.

Am I being selfish and out of order?

Please help me put my mind at rest one way or the other, I'm not sleeping or eating worrying about this sitauation.

Thanks ximage


  • pouvrypouvry Posts: 1,000
    Hi Shyness

    That's a really difficult one. The first thing I would say is to tell your fiance how upset you are, so that he can see that you're not just digging your toes in for no reason. I can see the the groom's sister might be surprised not to be included as a bridesmaid, but on the other hand if you only want one, it's your wedding. I don't really know what to say but if it were me I would try and find her a role like doing a reading so that she is included. It obviously means a lot to your fiance as well.

    Sorry not to be much help. Also just to suggest posting this in Emotional Support as you might get more responses (from more helpful people than me!). xxx
  • TriTreadTriTread Posts: 313
    I really don't feel you should feel pressurised into anything. I picked my step sister and sister to be bridesmaid - to ensure I was politically correct. My step sister has been a godsend but my sister has been a pain - not helped at all and just thinks being my sister warrents a free pass to be a brridesmaid.

    I say - this is your day - she'll get her chance. Stick to your guns. You H2B is doing the right thing by supporting you on the face of it even though he sounds like he's not happy.

    Could you suggest a compromise i.e can she be a groomsperson i.e. help him or do a reading or be in charge of musci or something. That way she has a job but isn't in your hair?
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