i have a massive dilema pls help!

hi wen i first found uot i was getting married i rang my mum and asked her to walk me down the isle she was so happy she cried. i have always said i would have her walk me down the isle as i met my dad wen i was 12 he is not the greatest dad in the world but we do get on really well just dont c him that often .i always said to my mum that she deserved to walk me down the isle as she has always been there for me and thought she deserved to do it. but now i feel really guilty towards my dad as iits tradition for him to do and he is probably expecting 2 (as i said earlier its not like we dont get on i can talk to him as more of a friend if that makes sense)i cant tell my dad he cant do it and i cant tell my mum she cant either .wot the hell have i done i really dont wanna upset any one . any advice will b very welcome thanks xx


  • moomin05moomin05 Posts: 2,442
    My mum is walking me down the aisle as I have very little contact with my dad and its my mum who has raised me and done all the hard work.

    If you have already asked your mum then you cant un-ask her as by the sounds of it, it means so much to her. You also sound very much like its her you want to walk you down the aisle.

    Surely youre dad will realise that as you dont have a very close relationship and only met him when you were 12 he'll realise you dont want him to walk you down the aisle.

    If you only want your dad to do it because its tradition and you think he might be a bit disappointed then I personally think thats the wrong way to think about it. Choose who you want and who you think it would mean the most to.

    Obviously I dont know your situation exactly but personally I would stick withhaving your mum waslk you down the aisle.
  • louise1981uklouise1981uk Posts: 1,031
    Why not have one on either side, I think Al Gores daughter did this. I would sit them down and talk to them about it and see what they think.
  • orchid28ukorchid28uk Posts: 401
    Why don't you ask your dad to sign the register as your witness instead? Basically you would have reversed the traditional roles.

    Explain to your dad why you've asked your mum to walk you down the aisle and explain to your mum that you feel bad about your dad and that you've asked him to be your witness.

    Both jobs are equally important.
  • becka1ukbecka1uk Posts: 166
    I have seen it where step dads who have brought children up have walked them 1/2 way down the aisle then dad has taken her the rest of the way, so maybe dad could do 1st half and mum second, or as already suggested mum walk you down dad sign register, I think if mum has done the hard part she should take you at least part way.
  • Your mum would probably be very disappointed if you told her you didn't want her to walk you down the aisle after all. If you get on with your Dad, can't you explain to him that you'd always planned on your mum giving you away?

    You could ask your Dad to make a speech at the reception, or sign the register as a witness at the wedding.

    If you want to involve them both, you could ask your Dad to wait for you at the front of the church. Your Mum could walk you down the aisle and hand you over to your Dad, and he could give you away. I think it would be better to keep things simple, though, and let your mum do the honours. Your Dad can still play an important part in your wedding.
  • gemmapaynegemmapayne Posts: 908
    Why not just sit your dad down and explain to him that you've asked your mum to do it as you knew it would mean a lot to her?

    Tell him you'd still like him to play a part in the wedding and perhaps ask him to do something else (like sign the register and/or do a speech). Another option could be to have him hand out the order of the day cards. This way he'd get to meet and greet all of the guests and would feel really involved.

    It sounds to me like you definitely want your mum to do it, so you shouldn't feel you need to compromise on this. I'm sure your dad will understand if you tell him your honest reasons. Plus, it would be just awful to tell your mum you've changed your mind when she's been so happy about it!

    Good luck hun. I'm sure that if you're honest with your dad he'll understand and will be happy with the choice you've made.

  • Hi

    If you really want your Mum, then that's what you should do. Weddings should be about what you and your H2b want, not about following tradition. My brother is walking me up the aisle as my Dad has parkinsons and doesn't want me to push him in his wheelchair, so will meet me at the altar. I'm sure your Dad will understand, just talk to him. Good luck x
  • ShaniaukShaniauk Posts: 24
    I am going to walk down myself. My Mum and Dad split when i was very young and I am very close to my mum. However i didnt feel it was right to have either walk me down the aisle so have decided to come down myself with my bridesmaid. Do you think this is weird? I am worried people will think I am crazy but I have been living with my fiance for over 5 years now so am technically 'away' already so dont think I need anyone to give me away. x
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