Hats off!!!

Dear all

I think that the etiquette at weddings is that guests follow the MOB's lead with taking off their hats.

If so, and to stop my mother having too many sleepless nights about this (!), does anyone please know when she should be kicking this off?



  • farrell29farrell29 Posts: 174
    absolutley no idea - does it really matter? - sorry not much help
  • tattbagtattbag Posts: 264
    when she feel's comfortable to do so, usually just before or after dinner - but definatley before the speeches.

    I guess it depends if she is wearing a massive hat or not!
  • clarekellclarekell Posts: 6,666
    I believe it is before the dinner / wedding breakfast / buffet.

    The way to instigate the other women to remove their hats is to have somewhere for the hats to go e.g. hat table ( OR... I went to a wedding this weekend where the women hung them on a washing line - very cute!)

    Then when the other women see this they will remove theirs. If there are a few still with their hats on, you can ask the ushers to guide them to the table / area for hats !

    x x x
  • clindleyukclindleyuk Posts: 776
    hat table/washing line fab idea!!
  • tina_01_01tina_01_01 Posts: 98
    my mate asked us all to wear hats at her wedding so we all did, whether we wanted to or not. Brides mum knew some of us weren't comfotable with our hats on so kept hers on until the evening!! she said she was gonna take it off before the meal but thought she'd make us suffer a bit longer!!!

    So before the meal is the 'norm' unless your mum is as cruel as my mates mum!!
  • My Mum point blank refused to wear a big hat, or any hat. So if my guests are wearing hats, they can take them off whenever they want.

    Wedding etiquette is so silly sometimes isn't it?!
  • VirginiaukVirginiauk Posts: 32
    Completely agree youngbride - wedding etiquette really is silly!

    Really loved the washing line idea "soon to be a missus".

    My mother isn't wearing a huge hat, she's actually wearing a "fascinator" (the name cracks me up every time!).

    Thanks for all your thoughts. I will pass them on to her although I bet she totally forgets on the day and like you tina_01_01 the guests will be left wearing their hats all day and night, secretly cursing her with her totally oblivious that she still has her head-gear on!

    Thanks again
  • louise1981uklouise1981uk Posts: 1,031
    fascinators can be left on all day, but hats should be taken off before people sit down to eat. But to be honest people can just take their hats off when they want. It is more normal to leave a fascinator in as it is more a hair piece than a hat.
  • clarekellclarekell Posts: 6,666
    I also heard another etiquette rumour which baffles me.......

    My mum told me yesterday that if the Mother of the Bride didn't wear a hat then no other female guest may wear a hat!

    How crazy is that? image
  • sarahlou1980sarahlou1980 Posts: 187
    Glad I found this thread. My mom asked the exact same question at the weekend.

    How funny that we are all so bothered about these things now!? I hope I'm not worried about it on the day. My mom will probably be the one who forgets what she's meant to do and leave it on even though her hat is huge!

  • We went to a wedding reception in a marquee, and they provided clothes pegs so ladies could peg their hats to the linng of the marquee. It looked great!

    The mother of the bride usually takes her hat off when she sits down for the wedding breakfast. Fascinators can be kept on all day.
  • No idea what the ettiquette is - but I would think that everyone has to follow

    Talking hats - does anyone know of a hat shop in the Surrey area hires them out - someone mentioned one that did a great range especially for the races but I can't remember where or who but know it was Surrey

  • minime2006minime2006 Posts: 792
    thanks for this thread, my mum has maintained since i was little that if i ever get married then she really doesn't want to wear a hat - and do ive decided she should be comfortable on her little girls big day - so she not wearing a hat - if others want to they can (e.g. MOG), although i would prefer that no hats are worn at all - but whatever makes peole happy at the end of the - day i figure its mine and h2b day and as long as we are happy everyone else could turn up in black bags - sorry for waffly message xx
  • rachybabe2rachybabe2 Posts: 51
    all the weddings i have ever been too i have always left my hat on until after the meal and then take them off between the day and evening guest arriving (this gives you and your guests time to re do their hair) hope this helpsimage
  • jharris_86jharris_86 Posts: 313
    i dont think my mum will follow the rules

    i think she is just gonna do what she wants (as ususal!)
  • Before the meal is the most appropriate time - it is horrible sitting next to someone with feathers etc in their hat, if they keep turning to talk to the person on the other side of them, you get a mouthfull of feathers! I always think it looks terribly silly when women are sitting down and eating their meals with their hats on too, so I shall be yanking my mother's hat off if she doesn't have the good sense to do it herself!
  • CharliesWifeCharliesWife Posts: 2,666
    My mum is not going to wear a hat she says she has a pin head (little head) and a hat wont look right. Plus she has such fine hair, it will mess up her hair. She may have a facinator but as before she has such fine hair it wont stay in.

    Mil may wear a hat.

    I thought you could take your hat off when you wanted once you got to the reception. I cant believe you have to wait for someone to take there hat off before others can take theres off.
  • Amelia10Amelia10 Posts: 1

    Hats should remain on heads throughout dinner!

  • Andrea92Andrea92 Posts: 1

    Im mog and have an amazing hat I really dont think I want to take it off Iv asked mob to keep hers on as long as possible lol

  • AwhelenqtAwhelenqt Posts: 856 New bride

    How bizarre I have never heard of this in my entire life! I would have no idea to wait for MOB I'd just take it off when it started to annoy me!

  • In my personal opinion, everyone should just feel free to do these things whenever they feel comfortable. The "hat on" looks nice during the Speech, I am sure of that. Speaking of the Speeches, I invite You All to my website: http://www.clkmg.com/Macers/WeddingSpeeches Cheers Girls!

  • I’m laughing so much at this thread! Mainly because the title “hats off” and the exclamation marks I thought you were having a fight with your mum and hats have been through metaphorically! Only to come on here and read about hat etiquette lol!

    Traditionally men and women would remove hats on entering buildings so to be polite to whoever they were visiting could see their faces well and greet each other. Hats were an outdoor accessory so indoors was a no no. As time has gone by rules have become more leninient and the concept of a hat has expanded greatly. Traditionally at weddings the MOB will remove her hat before she takes a “comfy seat” which is interpreted as just before she sits down to dinner or talks for an extended period of time - see speeches. 

    I agree with above posters, no hats at the dinner table, especially if it’s large one and it might take your eye out if you are sat next to it.

    I love the idea of the washing line or hat table. At the end of the day it’s what matters to you and your wedding style - if you are traditional with your airs and graces or you couldn’t give a hoot if your mum wears pjs let alone a hat!
  • SadieeeSadieee Posts: 1,781 New bride
    If I wore a hat I would take it off when I felt like it, its my head. I would not be waiting the MOB. It's ridiculous.

    That's just my input on this ressurected thread lol
Sign In or Register to comment.