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My Mother's Gone Crazy

It all started a couple of days before the wedding. Mum was getting bossy, and nagging a lot. Then came the day before the wedding, and same thing but worse. Then the morning of the wedding came (17th feb), and she was an absolute nightmare. Whilst I was speaking with make-up lady, my mum was stressing my BM out, telling her how we all had to rush to get ready once we got home. Then she was a nightmare putting my dress on, so I was glad I had a BM to help (who was married and knew how to help). It was a great relief to get in the car and leave her! Then the entire day mum was in cuckoo land, she abadoned me as she arrived at the venue, and then when BM were busy and she was nearby, she left me to manage dress on my own (she wasn't doing anything at the time). Since the wedding she has not been any better, practically telling me and hubby how to live and nagging us all the time to do what she wants. MIL has completely changed to being a lovely woman and my mum has turned into bridezilla!!!

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  • Well if it makes you feel better my mum's gone crazy even before the wedding day! She told me who I can and can't invite (h2b told her we will invite who we please and if she didn't want to come thats fine!)... has told me that I have compromise (Why should I she isn't paying for the wedding me and h2b are paying for it)... I told her no children at the wedding which she didn't pass on to family who have booked airplane tickets and hotel rooms for them and 9 (yes count them 9 kids!)... And know that I've told her that we cant fit 9 kids... she tells me we can't be bothered with my wedding and that I should have gone away!



    She wanted my sister to wear a cream dress (the same sister who refuses to be a bridesmaid) and then told me that I couldn't tell people what to wear to my wedding (HELLO everyone knows that you don't wear white or cream to a wedding!)



    So I to wonder were my mum who has always been wonderful to me has gone... She's turned into a Mumzilla (worse thing is that my mother-in-law in great!) Hopefully mum comes back sometime before the wedding!
  • Yup, I know how you are feeling.  My mum, usually a wonderful, calm, supportive type of person, has gone nutty!  She is now refusing to talk to me at all because I had to ask my dad to tell her to calm down. 

    H2B and I decided we wanted a small ceremony, and had 25 guests, all invites sent out, then we are having a large party two weeks later to celebrate (I am petrified of being centre of attention).  She has now invited 10 people to our ceremony! Bullied H2B into wearing a kilt (not something I am bothered about) and is now telling us we have to change our entire plan and have the whole wedding on the day of the party so that her family don't feel like they traveled a long way just for a party! 

    Unfortunately I'm too much of a push over, and we are now looking at what we can do, but I just wish my normal mum would re-appear, this is stressful enough as it is without her demands!

  • gidget19gidget19 Posts: 30

    My mother went all weird on me as soon as I got engaged.

    We havent been able to do anything right re the wedding- we are having it in the wrong country so that means that she has to travel which therefore is costing her money, the right sort of ceremony ( civil instead of religous), we arent having the right sort of food ( finger food all evening instead of a sit down meal) and havent invited her friends.

    It all started when they wanted us to have the wedding sooner so we said fine, we will have it here in the UK instead of in NZ, that meant they would have to travel which they were fine with, also they were happy to pay for my brother to come to th UK to the wedding as he cant afford to pay for himself this is so the whole family will be at the wedding. Mother got the hump when we said that we were having a civil ceremony instead of a religous one ( she is a full on catholic) and it just went all pear shaped after that.

    After that it was complaint after complaint- We cant afford to have a sit down meal so she told us that maybe we should 'uninvite' some of our guests so we could have a sit down meal instead of finger food all evening. Then it was the cake- we arent having a fruit cake -this apparently wasnt suitable for her. WTF ? We are paying for the whole wedding- apart from a very small contribution from them ( about £500 which is nothing but I'm still gratfeul for it!) .

    After that it was the fact that they couldnt stay with my brother who lives here or us as we will have my other brother staying here over the wedding. This meant that they have to pay for accomodation ( first time in about 15 years of coming here) but accommodation is so expensive for them and that nobody wants them to stay , then it was the fact that we cant pick them up from the airport as our car is too small so they will have to get the train .

    I am so sick of her complaints. Instead of asking how they can help both of my parents have done nothing but complain. We have tried not to let it wear us down. I hate to imagine what it would have been like if they had been here from the start. I would understand if they had been paying for the whole wedding but they arent so they dont really have a say in what goes . Its our money that is paying for the wedding so people can mind their own business. We did say from the start that if they really wanted us to have something then they could pay for it but seems that's not the case !

    We have at various points considering eloping but that would have been fair on the other side of the family and we have wondered - seriously if we could un-invite my parents but we've heard thats bad form.

    I am quite relieved that we arent the only ones in this sort of situation, I get that all situations are slightly different but at the same time, there is no excuse for bad parental behaviour.

     

     

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