Mum + Nightmare

Ladies please help

Me and H2B picked the date for our wedding to be in Cyprus 2011, H2b side are well happy for us and cant wait, My Dads side, as he and Mum seperated over 20 years ago, are more than happy, Dad is taking a leading role in wanting to get it all booked and help organising it.

Mum and her side are been totally unreasonable, she now has a 10year old with her new partner and because the wedding is in a school term time, she is causing a problem. She wants us to bring the wedding fwd a week so she can take brother out of school for a week then have the 2nd week while it is the school hols, ( which is only a week mid term.) she says that if we dont move the date, then she and the rest of her family will not be coming to the wedding and will cut all ties with other family do's...

My Mum has always been against what i try to do, she made my life hell when i lived at home and when moved out with H2b that was a problem, i got pregnant with now 2 yr old, that was a problem, moved house got sorted, that was a problem, she says we should struggle like she did and not be helped.

H2B parents have helped us lots as he is only child and want to help him as much as they can.

Mum is just trying to do what she has always done and get her own way and why should i change the date we booked for OUR special day.

Sorry for the rant but just want some advice.

Thanx girls.


  • Sounds a bit like my mum selfish everything had to resolve around her never happy unless me and my sisters at each others throats.

    She still does not like to think we phone each other and talk when shes not there. Never happier unless she could cause strife.

    carry on with your date as planned and have a good time, its really silly to suggest she wants nothing to do with you if you dont change the date for her.

    sorry but does she think so little of you to give you an ultimatum

    I am sorry if I am projecting my own problems with my mother onto you, we can never please our mother no matter what we do for her.

    Which has included running her around for her to receive cancer treatment 200 miles away we have been at her beck and call and shes still not happy

    [Modified by: Hal82 on August 21, 2009 12:54 AM]

  • Be sneaky! Goround to all the relatives on her side who you're inviting and ask them personally to come, say you're so excited and would love for them to come. Then, if she knows she'll be the only one missing out, I'm sure she'll change her tune. And if she doesn't, it will probably make the day a whole lot easier if she isn't there anyway! Harsh but true!! xx
  • CurlylydCurlylyd Posts: 1,465
    If she was saying that she was not happy about taking her child out of school at all, then I would understand her point. I'm quite against taking children out of school when you don't have to, and schools do often give parents alot of grief about it. But in your situation, where your Mum is quite happy to take him out of school for a week, I don't really understand why she can't just be there for the week of the wedding and then fly home so that her son does not miss to much school. I realise that it's your wedding, and you should have the dtae you want, and that there would quite possibly be financial implications for yourselves and your guests if you went during school holiday time, but surely you must have thought that this would cause a problem when you booked, knowing that you have such a close family member still of school age. It does put your Mum in a slightly difficult situation, and I can see why she would be upset at having to miss out on part of her daughters wedding holiday if other family members will be there for the full two weeks. If there are other things that she is being difficult about, then I would just put it down to the fact that he is difficult, but if she is supportive in lots of other ways, then I think you should try and be a bit more understanding of the difficult situation that you have put her in.
  • MargalfMargalf Posts: 159
    To be honest as a mum I know some schools will only let them have a certain number of days off have you asked if this is the case?
  • Miss_PenguinMiss_Penguin Posts: 1,020
    If you chose to have weddings abroad and in term time, you have to accept that some people won't be able to come. My mum is a teacher so I wouldn't have done it. In fact, I consulted my nearest and dearest before setting the date as it was so important to me that they could be there.
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