MIL2B outfit - will it take over?! UPDATE - Gutted

This is so silly, but I'm really worried about my MIL2B's outfit.



She is really chuffed with it, but I'm concerned it's going to take over and will make her stand out more than MY mum and possibly even me!!



Basically my colours are ivory and gold; very traditional, neutral and classy. My mum has chosen a beautiful cream skirt suit with a pink and pale brown top and 'biscuit' (pale brown/pinky shade) hat with cream accessories. It looks wonderful against the BMs dresses and I was really chuffed and hoping to get MIL2B a similar shade so we all co-ordinated in the photos!!



Anyway, MIL2B has called me today all excited as she has found an outift she's really comfortable in but it's TURQUOISE!!!!! She has a turquoise skirt suit, top and (to quote her) "quite a big turquoise hat"!!!!!!



I'm really worried that all I'm gonna see in all my lovely photos is this bright green outfit!! It'll really stand out especially as all the men are in morning suits with pale gold waistcoats!



Am I being a cow? I don't know what to do!!!





[Modified by: emmabusy2be on 19 May 2007 21:06:35 ]

Posts

  • LisukLisuk Posts: 233
    Hi Emma, i think you're worrying unnecessarily. A varity of colours looks nice pus i think turquoise goes well with gold. (my theme is gold too). I'm not bothered what colour my MIL2b wears unless its a white dress =)
  • I agree with Lissy
  • loweellieloweellie Posts: 1,196
    BE HAPPY FOR HER - LET HER WHERE WHAT SHE WANTS. ITS A GREATER GIFT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL HAPPY. NOONE WILL OUTSHINE U AND UR MUM WILL BE GLOWING MORE THAN ANY OTHER RELATIVE..UR HER GIRL!!!
  • I totally understand your worries, but i think that origin79 has put it perfectly!



    Worst case scenario you can always photoshop your pictures after!
  • emmacorrollemmacorroll Posts: 2,264
    Thanks ladies. I realise I was just being an overly pedantic, obsessive Bridezilla (and somewhat of a cow!)



    I am pleased she's found something she is comfortable in. She is a slightly larger lady and has been trying to shift some weight for the wedding so I am happy for her. Just think I'd built this picture in my head of what we'd all look like in the pictures (she'd previously been looking at terracotta and pale pink outfits) and the bright green shocked me somewhat!



    I am sure it'll all be fine. EnidEgg you made me laugh though - can imagine her face if I changed the colour of her outfit!! Might just stick to sepia photos where H2B's parents are concerned!!



    Thanks again!
  • bec8781bec8781 Posts: 95
    I know the others have convinced u u are over-reacting, but im gonna disagree! I am worried about my MIL2B outshining my mum. My mum always looks nice and I have no doubt she will look a million dollars on the day, but MIL2B is very much the type of person whose got to have the nicest, biggest, most expensive outfit, and I am worried she will go over the top. Can't say anything to her of course, but I am worried about it! x
  • GatorgirlukGatorgirluk Posts: 183
    becbride I agree with you. I HATE my MIL2b's outfit. We have a green and white theme and she has gone and bought an orange and black Condici monstrosity. This is after saying she wanted to co-ordinate with the scheme and to get the outfit with me there after my mum had got hers. It's not just the fact she went and bought it and it's orange but the colour will not suit her, and it's also a little bit young for her. It will stand out like a sore thumb. My aunt who is doing our reading even wanted to make sure her dress did not clash with the colour scheme as did my grandmothers. I am annoyed because she knows how much the look of the Wedding means to me. But, like other's have said, it can be photo-shopped and if it looks terrible then believe me it will be.
  • I wouldnt worry too much my sisters MIL is wearing white my sister is that stressed she is threatening to sneak into MIL's house unpick the hem and put a few prawns in it then sew it back up hahahaa
  • wearing white! tut tut, that's so cheeky! Does she think it's her wedding day again? I'd like to make sure her first drink is a glass of red wine...then who knows what might happen!! I wouldn't really, it's so much easier to say these things!
  • bec8781bec8781 Posts: 95
    Gatorgirl....my story gets worse...my mum has managed to find an outfit that actually fits her which has been a nightmar and she rung MIL2B and described it & its very similar to hers and she made it very clear my mum would have to be the one who gets a different one. She said my mum could have first colour choice, but MIL put pressure on my mum to hurry up and buy her outfit so she could go out for hers that my mum told her to just buy it if she had seen something she liked, so she did, which is my mums fault really, but its cream so im also worried she will look too much like me...and its bought now!! Really stressed about it!x
  • becbride. I'm sure she won't look anywhere near as good as you on the day. Besides all eyes will be on you anyway and if anyone does notice her then if they're anything like me they'll think 'why is she wearing white/cream to someone elses wedding, silly lady' or 'who's the crazy lady in cream?' (the latter would be my more honest thought!)
  • GatorgirlukGatorgirluk Posts: 183
    becbride you poor thing! I know it makes us sound like right bitches but it is OUR day, next most important is our Mothers, not MIL's. I HATE the outfit. H2b has not seen it but I know he won't like it. She just won't be in a lot of photos. I know it sounds harsh but it will ruin them, she can just be in black and white or sepia. As for cream, I'm sorry I would definitely have to say something, in my opinion that is the height of rudeness. When a friend of H2b's showed me her Wedding photos I thought she had changed into a different dress for the evening, she hadn't, it was a guest in a long white dress, the Bride was really upset as they both also have long blonde hair so looked similar. Cream and White is a definite NO.
  • bec8781bec8781 Posts: 95
    Oh I don't know what to do now!! She has put adeposit on this cream outfit and everything! I really don't want her to wear a similar colour to me! My dress has got the wow factor so it would be hard to over power me, but its the principle of the fact that its a though she is trying to!!! x
  • A wedding is of course about bride and groom but the whole point of having a celebration where family is there is because they want to show how proud they are of you and to celebrate with you - they are not there to co-ordinate or wear what they are told or have people turning their noses up at what they have chosen to wear. If they were deliberately choosing something foul to show you up then that's a different matter, but I have never noticed anyone apart from bride and groom at every wedding I've been to (even where guests have worn cream) so STOP WORRYING! My mum is worrying about what MIL2B will be wearing and I have just asked her to wear whatever she feels best in and then she'll look fab regardless. Just be pleased that everyone is looking for special outfits - they are excited about YOUR wedding and they are still ultimately your guests.



    Sorry - am a bit touchy as I don't even know if my in-laws will be at ours following a huge row between them and H2B, but it does put things in perspective, somewhat. (Did like the "accidental" wine spillage suggestion, though!). image
  • bec8781bec8781 Posts: 95
    I have just decided in my head that she is trying to look better than me, so she may not be, but I just don't think wearing cream or white to a wedding is on. I guess if things between H2B and his parents were difficult then I guess it puts things into perspective as u say, and i know everyone just wants us to be happy and be there 4 us x
  • emmacorrollemmacorroll Posts: 2,264
    Well, i went to see it.



    Was very pleased as last week she told me that she hadn't gone with the turqoise as FIL2B didn't like it. She wouldn't tell me what she'd got instead, wanted to surprise me with it today.



    Surprise me it certainly did! She has a white floaty dress, ivory hat, ivory beaded shawl (much like one I was going to buy for ME to wear in the evening!) and white shoes!!



    I can't believe it!!! So gutted!! I have tried to get her to agree to change the shawl and get a pink one (there are some scattered pale pink flowers on the dress), but not sure she will. I told her I thought she looked lovely but it was a very bridal look and not what I had expected.



    Don't know what to do. Feel ridiculous getting upset about this & H2B doesn't understand at all. She's taken all the labels off everything as well so can't change it.



    Feeling like a horrible daughter-in-law and bridezilla, but seems to have really depressed me that I won't be the only one in a cream dress!!



    : (
  • Hopes_MammyHopes_Mammy Posts: 5,839
    Ah Emma thats a shame! I thought it was etiquette for the Brides Mother to ensure she didnt wear the same colour as the bride, brides mother and bridesmaids! Could this be related to a bit of jealousy that youre taking her son away from her??? Ive got this to come - I am almost certain that MIL2B will be wearing white for our wedding,, just to do my head in!!

    Keep your chin up princess! No-one and I mean no-one will be the slightest bit interested in what your MIL is wearing when they have a beautiful bride to look at. And anyway, most of your guests will think she is a sad cow for trying to make a statement!!



    Sorry, went off on one then! Never meant to sound so horrible!

    Paula

  • secretbridesecretbride Posts: 533
    How unthoughtful of people to not consider wether they will be too much like the bride.



    I have the total opposite, my mil2b is trying to find and outfit that she will be able to wear to work after! for gods sake! and my poor old mum (who always looks lovely) is now worried shes going to outshine mil2b. Plus one of my guests is going to wear the bodice of her wedding dress to my wedding! cant belive it!!!
  • MoominmummyMoominmummy Posts: 1,621
    Ladies, this is not meant to sound harsh, and is mean in the nicest possible way... but... STOP WORRYING THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL OUTSHINE YOU!!!! You are the bride!!! All eyes will be on you and you only. I can only think of two weddings where I actually remember what the mums were wearing and even then it's a general colour type thing, not the details. But I remember exactly what the bride looked like. Don't even remember what the grooms were dressed in usually! In fact i was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and the MIL was in a cream skirt suit with cream hat and cream shoes. It looked lovely. It did not look like she was trying to look like the bride. It just looked elegant and classy and understated - if anything blending comes to mind. The bride will always stand out as it is her day. And your own mother will look fantastic too. This is your day yes, and that means that you are the centre of attention and the one people look at. But you should be pleased that your family are taking such an interest in dressing up & celebrating with you. And as someone already said surely it is better to have people feeling happy and comfortable not feeling like they've been dictated to about what they can and cannot wear. I really don't mean to cause offence to anyone. My point is that nothing is going to detract from how stunning you as a bride are going to look on the day. xx
  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    I'm totally with Shoegal on this. Let's remember that this is a day of celebration, not a Vogue photo shoot! Non-matching/clashing colours will not ruin your photos! (To my brother's wedding, my mother wore turquoise and my sister wore red, but the photographer simply put them on opposite sides of the group. It doesn't look weird at all in the photos, in fact it brightens them up! And despite them being so bright, the bride in white in the middle of the photo, is inarguably the star.) And for what it's worth, I too have never EVER seen ANYONE outshine a bride. And if there ARE nuts people out there trying to do it by wearing something sexy or bright, it just backfires on them because they look ridiculous. Your other guests aren't stupid - it will be very obvious if people are attention-seeking, and just look pathetic. I have been to one wedding where a female guest wore a very revealing dress, but even so, everyone's focus was still on the bride. You can't compete with a woman wearing a big/long/lacy white dress, with her hair and makeup professionally done, walking down aisles, sitting at top tables, being kissed and hugged by everyone, having a million photo's taken of her and speeches made about her! She is ALWAYS going to be the star! xx

    [Modified by: leafy on May 22, 2007 12:41 PM]
  • Kelly-jayne77Kelly-jayne77 Posts: 171
    My MIL2B has picked an ivory suit with a pink flowery top My colur on my dress IVORY and PINK i cant believe she has done that knowing the colour of my dress! im slightly upset by it but what can i do
  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    It's so funny how mother and mothers-in-law can't win with this one! If they wear something in our colour scheme, we're unhappy, if they wear something that doesn't work with our colour scheme, we're unhappy! If they wear something bright, they are going to steal the spotlight, if they wear something beige/navy/black then they look too dreary and boring... And for every bride that is okay with one category of colour, there's another who's not! LOL!!
  • emmacorrollemmacorroll Posts: 2,264
    I know I'm just being silly really but my MIL2B has been very, um, demanding I suppose about HER part of the day (?!) throughout. I'm not getting married until 1st September but she was grilling me about who was going to do her hair and make-up on the morning of the wedding last year?! Errr, I don't care?! lol!! I think this is just another way of her saying, you might think it's your day, but I'm gonna make sure you have to notice me as well!!! Ah well, I think I'm going to buy her a present of a pink wrap and bag and then see if she wears those. If not, I'll just ignore it I suppose. I need to make sure I don't get too drunk on my Hen Do though as she is coming along and I might blurt it all out!! lol!!
  • HarveygHarveyg Posts: 114
    Hello,



    Whilst I don't think that the colour of guests outfits is something you can dictate (or will make any difference in the photo's) and I completely agree with the posts saying that no one could possibly outshine the bride on her big day, I do understand why her intentionally wearing the same colour as you would upset you. Colour plays such an important part in a wedding and white (cream/ivory etc.) is the traditional symbol of a bride. I think it is just so rude for someone to wear all ivory or white to a wedding because it is completely unnecessary.

    Secretbridenomore I am flabbergasted at your friend doing that! Doesn't she realise that she has had her turn?? How embarrassing for her though. As Leafy pointed out, this general type of behaviour just screams -desperate'.

    A MIL2B trying to outshine the bride is never pretty - more green (eyed) than ivory so try not to let it get you down.



    x

  • leafyukleafyuk Posts: 2,182
    Yes, there are definitely a few people out there with a screw loose! I will share a true story with you just so we can all marvel at the nuttiness of some mothers. In this Case, MY mother!! When my uncle (my mother's little brother) got married, my mother knew that his wife (now my aunty) LOVED the colour apricot, and guessed that her bridesmaids would be wearing apricot-coloured dresses. (And yes, as it turned out, she was right - they did wear apricot.) Well, my mother got a dress maker to make herself and me (I was 10 and had no choice!) apricot dresses. Mine was the kind of thing that only a flowergirl/bridesmaid would wear - silk, with a lace sash and puff sleeves. (If it sounds hideous, you're right, it was!). Mum's dress was more formal mother-of-the-bride looking. Meanwhile, she also got my brother (9 at the time) to wear an apricot-coloured shirt with his dark trousers. My father refused to follow the colour theme. (Thank God I have one parent with a modicum of sanity!!) Can you imagine us? The apricot family! In the photo of the 4 of us with the bride, groom and bridal party, we totally look like we are part of the bridal party, and my mother was THRILLED with this. I just don't get this kind of behaviour at all. I can only imagine what she's going to do on MY wedding day, when she will be Mother of the Bride!! God help me! But I am actually not worried about it at all, because I have seen my mother do this kind of thing time and time again, and it really didn't matter. The bride and the bridesmaids still got all the attention, despite my mother's best efforts, and she just looked ridiculous. (She tried to get me to co-ordinate my outfit with her turquoise outfit when my brother got married, but I just politely refused by saying I had already bought my outfit and if it clashed then we would just have to stand apart in group photos! LOL!) ................Now, has this story made you see the ridiculousness of people like that? They should be laughed at, not stressed about! image
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