Post wedding blues!

I just want to warn all you MOB's about the anticlimax after the wedding, so you can prepare for it. My daugter got married two weeks ago. After 3 years of anticipation, 18 months of planning and organising and two weeks of final mayhem, my daughter's big day arrived. It was absolutely perfect in every way. We had rooms at the venue so the Sunday was was lovely too, reflecting on the previous day.

Then Monday came and I felt so flat, lost and empty. I moped around all day wondering what to do with myself. I felt the same on the Tuesday and Wednesday, though hubby and me did do things like taking her dress to be cleaned, returning the cake stand and bits and bobs, but it just wasn't enough to fill my time. I had expected to feel a bit flat so hubby and I intended to get away for a few days, but I was so bad I couldn't even motivate myself to book anywhere and I wasn't even bothered.

We went out for a meal with my daughter, son-in-law and his parents on the Wednesday and had a lovely night, then thankfully, I got up on the Thursday morning and felt much better. By Friday, I was back to normal and ready to wave off the newlyweds - they're honeymooning in the Maldives now. I'm not the kind of person who gets depressed or moody normally, but I am always on the go and always organising something or other. Even though I expected to be at a loss, I really wasn't prepared for feeling so bad.


  • char2609ukchar2609uk Posts: 1,539
    I can second this - although I'm the bride.

    My parents did the same as you - they were really involved in the planning and they helped to get everything back in order after day, took all the bits and bobs back home or to hirers etc. Once that was done they were totally deflated.

    My Dad really kept it together all day - we had both expected that we would be in floods of tears but he just looked so proud and I couldn't stop smiling. Once he got home after it was all over he apparently broke down and let it all out - he actually made himself ill for a couple of days after the wedding with the emotion and come down.

    My Mum was equally as affected and she was very emotional after the big day.

    They had booked to go to Florida a couple of weeks after the wedding so they had something imminent to look forward to.

  • cazanncazann Posts: 832
    I've also been reading about brides who are suffering from the come-down! It's not surprising we feel this way after all the time and effort that's put into planning weddings these days. Then it's over in a flash and we're left with nothing to look forward to and wondering what to do with our time.

    Fortunately, the feeling doesn't last long and we can get back to our normal lives.
  • I am thankful for reading your letter as I am now going through the same thing. My son got married 4 days ago and I am so flat I cant believe it. The day was perfect and I love them both so much. They already lived together for the last few years so it isn't though he is moving out or anything, It just seems like I am in mourning for the wedding day!!! I have been crying now for 2 days solid but I feel so guilty as I have nothing to cry for. Please can you help?

  • Nellie-Nellie- Posts: 1

    I'm thankful to hear your comments. I also feel the same. I had two weeks off work, a week before the wedding to finalise preparations and a week after to tidy up etc.  Now I'm exhausted.

    My daughter got married two weeks ago, I can't stop crying. Every night I re-live the wedding day in my sleep and wake up depressed when I realise it's all over. I keep thinking back to how I felt in the run up to the day. I was so excited and happy and now its almost like someone has died and I am grieving. I feel so childish and shouldn't feel like this.

    I am going for a posh lunch this weekend (belated Christmas treat for mum in law) and she suggested we wear our wedding outfits (minus the hat of course!), but I can't even bring myself to even look at the dress...its tucked away in the suit bag along with the memory and a few bits of confetti

    I am so happy for my daughter, she's got a lovely hubby and I love him like a son. They've been living together for nearly two years so its not like I have empty nest syndrome but its now all so final.

    I don't feel I have anything to look forward to now. Please tell me it will get better because I can't carry on like this. Its affecting my work, my boss can't understand and I am really, really trying to snap out of it and put on a brave face.

  • LeaAnnLeaAnn Posts: 1

    I am feeling your pain today!  I am so down!  We worked so hard on this beautiful was perfect!  Now, there is nothing.  No one to talk to or plan with.  My little bride friend is on her honeymoon.   I have read about depression for the brides...not too much about the mothers.   I am feeling very "blue" today.  


  • Elsie2Elsie2 Posts: 1


    Wowzer, what an emotional rollercoaster ride that was and now I'm here, finding myself in a position thankfully others are too.

    My eldest got married Saturday, the most beautiful of days,  her Father (Absent for the last 10 years) was heavily involved which left me feeling slightly upset and a little under appreciated.

    I have no photos of my own of the day (the world of Facebook seems to have so many) I was still running around unshowered with finishing touches an hour before while the entire party was ready and waiting

    I'm now, 4 days in, wondering what the hell to do with myself again :(


  • I'm so glad that I found this thread, I'm not alone.  I am feeling dreadful and like I must be the worst mother in the world. 

    My daughter was married a few days ago - I haven't lost a daughter with whom I have the most perfect relationship, I have gained an amazing son in law who loves my darling daughter so much.  So what is wrong with me?  Why am I crying so much and  feeling so down.  This is just stupid. 

    Nellie (above) described how I feel exactly - I wish she were here to tell me everything will be fine.

    I'm crying about not having got a lovely mother/daughter pre wedding photograph. I had to get changed in the toilet at the last minute and everything was  rush.  Like Elsie2 I had no photographs of my own, even though I had my phone in my bag I didn't think to get it out once and use it while all around me people were taking selfies and making memories.  Most of the day was just a blur.  

    I feel selfish for even thinking this way - the day wasn't about me - it was about giving my daughter the best day of her life which I'm pretty sure we achieved but I'm beating myself up about the small stuff like not speaking to everyone and wanting to go back and do better.

  • marshpcmarshpc Posts: 1
    I can relate so much to your feelings about the day being a blur. I like you took no pictures, have no pictures of just me and my daughter. I was getting ready at the last minute too, while the bridal party had been ready for hours. Something is not right here! I have slipped into a depression and have very skewed memories of my daughter's wedding day
  • Hi everyone. I went online to Google mother of the bride blues and found this forum. My daughter got married 2 days ago, and I just feel so depressed wondering if anyone else experienced this and so please know that I totally relate. Just like many of you, I didn't take pictures. Phone in my purse along with an extra camera, but never got them out. My feet hurt so bad from the fancy shoes that I just wanted to sit. Combination of feeling physically and emotionally paralyzed or something.  All day today, I keep recalling some very beautiful speeches bridesmades presented, indirectly glorifying me for my efforts during the childhood years. But then I beat myself up all day pondering a day that my daughter asked me to play a board game with her when she was around 5 years old and I kept saying 'no' because I was too tired (resting b/c I recently had another baby and was exhausted all the time), and I keep recalling the sad look on her face as she turned slowly around and sadly left the room.  The guilt is killing me for not playing that game with her, and now I'll never have that chance to make it up to her. If only I could rewind the clocks and do it over again. Thank you for listening. 
  • I too landed here after a google search. I relate so much to many of your posts. My daughter married 5 days ago and I am feeling so flat and teary and want to redo it all to get everything right. I also didn't get any photos of my daughter and I and got ready in a mad rush at the last minute. I hated my hair and makeup and regret not doing them myself and I lost so much weight in the last week without realising that my dress hung on me like a sack. The ceremony and reception were both perfect, which is really all that's supposed to matter and I feel selfish for feeling this way. 
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