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my mother keeps upsetting and then blames me for my reaction

my mother has very kindley offered to pay for our wedding flowers .i want to have my dads partner have  a flower as well as  my partners parants partners as they all mean alot to us .unfortunatley my mum is on her own and is furious that we  want to get  my dads girlfriend 1 and is refuing to pay for hers . we are having to pay for hers which is fine but has upset me.

my mum has also decided to get a button hole for my nephew with out asking me . the reason we  have not done that is because my partner has 4 nephews and we thought it would be to exspenive and my son is our padge boy and we just wanted him to have a flower . my mum has said that anyone can wear  a flower  but she is not willing to pay for any other nephews and i am being jealous and selfesh . 

to top it all i have left my bridesmaid dresses at my mums house so nobody sees them and keep them safe . 1 of them is for my niece who i love dearly .my sister in law that hardly speaks to me and mum have let her friend try the dress on and offered me £20 for her little girl to have it for when she is brides maid as it fits her so nicely . my mother in law kindley payed £70.00 for it as a gift for her sons and mine wedding.

i am so so mad it has up set me so much . 

i dont know if im totally over reacting cos of wedding pressure or would anyone esle feel so so angre ?

my mum can not understand why i feel upset 

i cant work out if she unerwhere  she is hurting me or doing it  delibratly for some reason !!!

i dont want to keep arguing with my mum but i can not understand how she can be so thoughtless !!!!! 

what do you think ??? what should i do ???? how do i get though this ??? is it me ???


  • Mrs BakeMrs Bake Posts: 1,651
    I'm really sorry to say this but some tough love is in order. I can understand both views on the flower for your dads partner, so that one I would say go witho your gut instincts.

    As for the rest, tell your mom that just because she is paying for the flowers doesn't give her the ok to mess up your plans and upset others.

    Finally, in regards to the dress, be firm and say no. Explain it was a gift and stress that it's not open for negotiation. It may p*ss them off but that's life. It's YOUR day!

    Chin up xxx
  • jojo58jojo58 Posts: 2

    hi thanks for your responce . about the dress she wants to buy it after but i am more upset that others have seen it and trying it on before my wedding day "( 

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