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Giving the bride away...

I'm sure there are hundreds of posts about this.

I am stuck, my parents divorced 5 years ago. I'm already a bit nervous about both my mum and dad being at the wedding as they haven't ever had to spend a lot of time together since splitting and also my mum remarried less than a year after they split up and annoyingly my mum has already said she is unsure too which she shouldn't have shared.

Had they still been together then I definitely would have wanted to have them both give me away and walk me down the aisle. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable by doing this and I wouldn't feel comfortable either.

I feel very lucky that my dad has kindly paid for the reception but my mum has also massively contributed by buying the bridesmaids dresses and accessories, my dress, paying for the photographer and paying for the videographer.

So given all of this I feel that they both bought me up and I see them as equals and I think my mum deserves recognition as my parent as much as my dad. I understand where the tradition of giving the bride away came from but times have changed.

My dress is quite wide at the bottom as it is a fit and flare with a long train and the church is a 1000 years old and is very small! So I'm already worried about walking down and my dad treading on it but I would worry even more about the three of us having to walk in a line and trying to make sure both of them don't tread on it. At the end of the day I want to be focusing on my future husband at that moment and not the beautiful tulle being ripped as its so delicate.

I was wondering what peoples thoughts were if I was to have my dad walk me down the aisle and hopefully not treading on my dress haha! And then when I get to the top where my mum will be sitting (obviously standing for when I come in) if she were to join us for the last few steps so I can give them both a kiss and she could take my flowers from me and then when the vicar asks who gives this woman they can say "we do".

I had already decided I'm going to break with tradition and have my bridesmaids go in first as I just would prefer to be the last one in. My bridesmaids look stunning and I want them to have there special moment with all eyes on them before I come in behind? So they would be in there seats and there wouldn't be a pile up at the top of the aisle.

Has anyone else done anything similar? And had parents that aren't together and felt unsure on how it will be? I do think my mum is disappointed that she isn't giving me away? I don't want to upset anyone.

I have also organised a girls side and boys side of the top table so they don't have to feel uncomfortable being next to each other for a couple of hours in front of all our family and friends. My stepdad is going to be sat on another table with my stepbrother and my stepbrothers gf? I think my mum would like to be sat with him but my dad doesn't have a gf or anything and I don't think it would be fair on him? It's hard to try and be fair to all! Also I would feel bad for my stepbrother as he doesn't know anyone?

Thlights please ladies and gents? Would it work to have my mum join me for my last steps as a non married woman! 

Posts

  • Emma325Emma325 Posts: 95

    I would like both my parents to walk down the aisle but the aisle isn't wide enough in my venue. 

    Solution: Dad is walking me down the aisle and my mum is witnessing our wedding.

    However, I like the idea of my mum also taking my bouquet and saying 'we do' with my dad. So may steal this idea too. 

  • Louise94Louise94 Posts: 11

    Aww you go for it Emma! Let me know if you do and how it went! 

    My brother and my Fiancé's brother are both witnessing and I have already told them so don't want to take that away from them. But that would have been a good solution if we hadn't!

    X

  • Hi hun,

    So, while I'm not in your situation, this is what I would do. Do the 'traditional' dad giving you away; but have your mum walk down the aisle before you and after your bridesmaids. I've seen this done, and it looks beautiful! That way your mum actually has a part in the wedding and feels included x

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  • HereitgoesHereitgoes Posts: 206 New bride

    I was actually in this predicament and in the end my little brother (20 years old) walked me down the aisle and it was beautiful. My parents divorced when I was young and unfortunately they DO NOT get on. I tried to make things fare as my mum has, like your own, has been a massive help and has been such an amazing mum in my life and I couldn't just throw her out of the process just because of 'tradition'. So I agreed that she would drive in the car with me and that my dad would take over once we got to the church and walk me down the aisle. He of course opposed and wasn't happy to not have the dad 'spotlight' for the whole day as I also wanted to have a mother and daughter first dance too but he wasnt happy...to the point that he actually decided that he wouldn't come to the wedding. The day was gorgeous without him and just proved why I was right to have had my mum the priority. I think your idea is lovely and if both parents are mature enough they'll think it's a lovely too.

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