Mum is not interested

Since I was a little girl I wanted to get married on a beach with no shoes on, it was no secret it's always been my dream! 

When my fella proposed we knew straight away it was going to be overseas, my family knew, his family knew worlds worst kept secret, 

a few months after we got engaged we started looking around for destinations, we found prices and looked to see if it was affordable for all the family to come. 

We sent messages and phoned/FaceTime to see if they would be prepared to travel they all said yes we commited to a destination and everyone was sharing our excitement and booked shortly after us apart from my mum and sister 

they were planning, buying new things for the holiday my sister was even to be bridesmaid, it came to January this year and they still hadn't booked yet continued to tell me they were coming, 

eventually they booked! I was really happy because I wanted my mum and sister there, it came to April and they still hadn't paid anything off the holiday apart from the deposits ( full holiday was due for payment in July) I asked my mum if she was struggling to pay ? Her response to me was " i don't think I'm coming I can't take the flight, I can't take the heat, and I'm really not that interested! I was devistates my own mother not interested in my one and only wedding!! My sister still said she was coming but wasn't sure who she would bring as her husband is going back overseas ( army) the payment due date come and went and they hadn't paid, their holiday was cancelled 

now to get married in this hotel you need to have 5 rooms with my sister cancelling it was reduced to 4 so there was a threat of my wedding being cancelled because of them (we have sorted this now) 

 

when I told them they didn't seem bothered, my mothers response was " oh well" 

so i get married in October and none of my family are coming (apart from our 3year old daughter) my mother isn't even speaking to me she won't answer my calls/FaceTime/texts nothing 

I'm trying to not let it bother me but it is difficult that my family and particularly my mother is not interested 

mid anyone has any words of wisdom I would be grateful 

 

xx 

Posts

  • I'm so sorry this has happened and your left to feel this way. 

    Your mum really should have said something before you booked if it wasgoing to be an issue. Maybe there was an underlying issue such as money or maybe even a fear of flying and she was too embarrassed to say anything at the time and instead of owning up to it this is her way of dealing with it because maybe she feels she has let you down. Albeit not the best way.

     

    Does your mum go abroad frequently? Do you know if she is having any money troubles?? How is your relationship normally? 

     

    I think the best thing to do would be to sit her down and have a frank conversation with her and let her know how your feeling. 

    If there is no way that she can come the day will be special regardless and you can always do an at home reception x

  • Hi, 

    she hasn't been abroad in a while and we offered to pay for her, she just has no interest in me, I'm the youngest of three girls and my two older sisters have been married twice before, and my mum has bent over backwards for them including going away for my eldest sister 

    she isn't interested in speaking with me atall so I can't even sit down to talk to her, I guess I am fortunate that my mother in law is great it's just a shame my mother isnt 

    we thought about an a small reception for when we get home however she has told my MOH that she isn't even coming to afternoon tea hen party ! ( just found this out this afternoon) as she has no interest, 

    our relationship is fine it's mainly me that calls her two three times a week sometimes a day she just isn't answering anymore 

    xx 

  • Oh okay we it sounds like it's not flying or the money that's an issue then and I completely understand why your so upset especially with all she did for your sister's wedding. Her lack on interest is really bizarre particularly as she doesn't seem to want to talk. Have you tried speaking to your sisters to see if she has said anything to them?? Could she be dealing with any problems that you don't know about that may be causing her to act this way? X

  • I totally sympathise with you as my mother isn't exactly the most interested mother in the world and so I won't even try and excuse her behaviour. You didn't mention where you're going - is it long haul (not that it should matter)? 

    At the end of the day she's the one that will miss out. Luckily you have an amazing MIL so use the time to focus on your relationship with her and the experience you will share together.

     

  • None of them are answering, she has spoken to my mother in law and by all accounts she put her straight but still nothing to me, 

    we are going to the Dom rep, staying at one of the riu' hotels in Puerto plata 

    thank you for your support and advice ladies Xxx 

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